have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?

[PlayDat]

So how many times have you pooped yourself off the field?

Off the field? Never.

Pissed myself real good once, had too much to drink and had to drive about an hour at 1am. All back roads in whiteyville so I had two choices....get out of my car, drunk, in the country to piss on the side of the road and pray a sheriff/statey wasn't there or piss myself and suck it up. I chose the latter.

Edit: To note: Ohio seems to have more cops than any other state in the Union. Horrible place to drive drunk fyi.

 

[chronovore]

Okay, I'll fess up. I was on Koh Phangan Thailand, and I'd been there about a week, going to beach parties every night. The previous night I'd gotten out of control on mushroom shakes, while also taking down 2-3 buckets, which each had a full flask of whiskey and some amphetamine-laced Thai energy drink. I think at some point, I accidentally smoked black tar heroin thinking it was hash. I smoked like two packs of cigarettes that night, and also drank many beers. Finally I drove home on a motorcycle over hilly jungle roads.

Point is, that morning I should have been dead. Yet something within me still clung to life. I stumbled out of the beach bungalow that I was sharing with some British lads and girls to smoke a cigarette. I was wearing my board shorts from the night before. As I was smoking, I had the urge to fart, but instead all my sins of the past few days came pouring out.

There was no hiding this. It was visibly running down my legs. In the bungalow, the others had woken up, and I could hear that they were looking for me so that we could all go get breakfast. I crouched down in he bushes, shit and dirt mixing together on my legs into a grimy outer shell. These were the most intense moments of my life. One of the lads' hawk-like gaze nearly found me out on more than one occasion. Finally they left. I dashed into the bungalow, grabbed a towel, and sprinted out to the water. The evidence washed off me in the cool morning waters of the Gulf of Thailand.

Later I caught up with the others at breakfast, and no one ever suspected.

It’s like Bond's recovery scene from Skyfall, the agent alone and damaged in Asia, not wanting to be found out... and poop.

[Madrun Badrun]

Esch got a bollywood movie made about his struggles.

http://i.imgur.com/00mZSGY.jpg

[Madrun Badrun]

So walking Nami today, I feel a little wetness in the starfish region.  Due to this thread, my faith in ones ability to control their bowels, which I've had since I've been five, has been shattered.  In my state of no confidence, I rush home, only to discover the perpetrator was a bit of butt sweat.   

[Rufus]

Time to add Gold Bond to your morning routine.

[Beezy]

...today was not a good day

[Kara]

If it makes you feel better, despite either of the two illnesses I have and my utter inability to keep food down, I still haven't shat myself.

(I'm saving that for hospice. )

[nudemacusers]

i was in the office one day and for some reason had to shit really badly but didn't want to go to the bathroom (feeling lazy? I don't remember why exactly), so I went into a corner and quietly took a dump on the floor. realizing the horror of my act, i quickly tried to wipe myself clean and cover the mess, which at that point had drawn the attention of numerous coworkers due to the smell. unable to use my +5 charisma modifier to talk my way out of the situation with finesse, i was swiftly directed to my manager who was more or less speechless that I would do such a bizarre thing.

I really had no answer, and before I could formulate one, I woke up and jumped up from the bed paranoid that I had shit myself in my sleep. I blame reading this thread last night for planting these demonic thoughts into my head. 

[Huff]

Had arbys before my flight today. Was shoving the hell out of old people to get off after landing to make it to a bathroom

[Kara]

Had arbys before my flight today. Was shoving the hell out of old people to get off after landing to make it to a bathroom

what do u think they meant by the "i'm thinking arby's" ad campaign?

[Beezy]

have I somehow ensorcelled this board into shitting itself

It really was a bad day for me though. My stomach didn't feel right since I woke up and then I ended up vomiting at about 10am. Pretty sure the pineapples that I ate the night before was the cause of this. I also felt like I had to shit a couple of times, but it was usually nothing. Sometime in the afternoon I was laying on my back on my bed and felt what I thought was a fart. Nope. I launched out of my bed as soon as I felt it and ran to the bathroom. Instantly thought of this thread when it happened.

[TakingBackSunday]

Photo finish at the mall today

Had to have emptied a gallon of liquid shit

[Kara]

BN pls eat more fiber.

[TakingBackSunday]

I think it may be a side effect of me taking lexapro?  Idk.  But yeah more fiber is needed

[Kara]

more like letsapoop amirite

[Madrun Badrun]

Recently I have come to view you guys as symbiote life forms that join with shit cans for life; just sitting there crapping and wanking it to relieve the stress of being a toilet symbiote.  I think, as a forum, we should go back to a state where some doors remain between us and our toilet habits.

[Madrun Badrun]

So Esch, tell me about what came out of you today?

[TakingBackSunday]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1005406



look at how many people are lying itt

[Steve Contra]

Just once, when I was crazy sick and standing in my kitchen in just a robe.  Had to run to the shower and then scrub the floor.  Real talk.

[Madrun Badrun]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1005406



look at how many people are lying itt

Maybe we just have a loosened sphincter bias over here. 

[TakingBackSunday]

sodomy is sodomy 

[Kara]

[Phoenix Dark]

almost shit myself when I saw Vularai bumped the thread

[Kara]

<Aequitas> i was laying down about to catch a few more z's
<Aequitas> when i felt a rumblin'
<Aequitas> and i knew what was up, so i clinched and beat feet
<Aequitas> gf was fucking doing who knows what in my bathroom
<Aequitas> ofc
<Aequitas> she goes in there for fucking two hours like a fucking prom queen every morning
<Aequitas> so i go into the other bathroom, thats attached to my roommate's bedroom
<Aequitas> and im clenching with all my might
<Aequitas> i throw up the seat and drop trau
<Aequitas> but while im bent over ripping my drawers off i start going
<Aequitas> like not just a squirt came out
<Aequitas> it was free flowing
<Aequitas> i slammed my ass down but it was too late, i painted the underside of my roommate's toilet seat with brown sludge
<Aequitas> enough hit the seat to give it a pretty thorough once over coat top to bottom
<Aequitas> and when my ass hit the toilet i was STILL going full blast for like 30 seconds non stop
<Aequitas> after wards i wadded up some tp and just started scraping the seat like i was squeegie'ing a car windshield and it was sliding off in chunks into the toilet
<Aequitas> ofc it all slipped down thru the bottom of the seat and was all over the actual base of the toilet so i had to scrub in there real good with the scrubbin bubbles to get it all out
<Aequitas> what a debacle
<Aequitas> BUT
<Aequitas> at least i didnt shit my pants!



my brother from another mother is giving y'all Ls