Author Topic: Let's discuss a crucial god to the ancient Romans, lads. (Read 2230 times)

Am_I_Anonymous · « **on:** February 17, 2015, 01:19:56 PM »

May I present: Cardea, goddess of door hinges.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cardea

You go girl.

And yes, of course she got raped.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #1 on:** February 17, 2015, 01:22:59 PM »

This isn't a Bacchus appreciation thread?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #2 on:** February 17, 2015, 01:23:36 PM »

GoT-style TV series about the Roman gods/godesses, please.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #3 on:** February 17, 2015, 01:25:33 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on February 17, 2015, 01:23:36 PM

GoT-style TV series about the Roman gods/godesses, please.

I could get behind this. Netflix are you paying attention?

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #4 on:** February 17, 2015, 01:57:20 PM »

Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 01:54:19 PM

roman gods are the most basic. no originality. ripping off the greeks, who ripped off the aryan originators and then everyone else surrounding them. the elvis of gods.

(Image removed from quote.)

Don't you date speak of the Goddess of door hinges, heathen.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5 on:** February 17, 2015, 01:59:40 PM »

What's the point of gods that can't quad-wield flaming swords?

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #6 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:04:33 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 17, 2015, 01:59:40 PM

What's the point of gods that can't quad-wield flaming swords?
(Image removed from quote.)

You would want to quad-wield flaming swords....

Kara · « **Reply #7 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:11:54 PM »

I kinda want to read St. Augustine throwing shade on this fine goddess.

Especially since the Church's patron saint system puts this sort of thing to shame.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #8 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:21:35 PM »

Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:16:17 PM

The wars between the two were waged to rid the world of selfishness and wickedness that destroys humanity from the inside.

So the good guys lost? They probably just said it was about selfishness and wickedness so that they could grab some oil.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #9 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:29:16 PM »

Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:26:10 PM

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 17, 2015, 02:21:35 PM
Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:16:17 PM

The wars between the two were waged to rid the world of selfishness and wickedness that destroys humanity from the inside.

So the good guys lost? They probably just said it was about selfishness and wickedness so that they could grab some oil.

According to hindu mythology it's still waging on right now. We're supposedly in the age of darkness right now, the kali yuga. I think it's supposed to end approximately in 2442 according to astrology?

Then the cycle starts up again.

Sorry but y'all worship a pole or whatever

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:30:13 PM »

Norse mythology wise I will say that the Ragnarök is pretty awesome.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #11 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:33:17 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 17, 2015, 02:30:13 PM

Norse mythology wise I will say that the Ragnarök is pretty awesome.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #12 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:33:45 PM »

Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:31:12 PM

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 17, 2015, 02:29:16 PM
Sorry but y'all worship a pole or whatever

(Image removed from quote.)

(Image removed from quote.)

that ain't no god

it is a monument to the brown man's accomplishments in metallurgy (Image removed from quote.)

Which would explain why it's fake. Well not fake but a product of mixing iron with charcoal. Total accident.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #13 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:34:08 PM »

BBC worship

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #14 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:42:28 PM »

You sure it ain't a wood pole with metallic spray paint Esch?

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #15 on:** February 17, 2015, 02:45:01 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 17, 2015, 02:42:28 PM

You sure it ain't a wood pole with metallic spray paint Esch?

They buried the hecho en mexico label.

jakefromstatefarm · « **Reply #16 on:** February 17, 2015, 03:13:54 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on February 17, 2015, 02:11:54 PM

I kinda want to read St. Augustine throwing shade on this fine goddess.

Especially since the Church's patron saint system puts this sort of thing to shame.

The Confessions

The cult of saints

Peter Brown

eleuin · « **Reply #17 on:** February 17, 2015, 04:17:30 PM »

That led to this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #18 on:** February 17, 2015, 04:33:02 PM »

Quote from: eleuin on February 17, 2015, 04:17:30 PM

That led to this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus

bore approved

Kara · « **Reply #19 on:** February 17, 2015, 04:57:21 PM »

Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:26:10 PM

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 17, 2015, 02:21:35 PM
Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:16:17 PM

The wars between the two were waged to rid the world of selfishness and wickedness that destroys humanity from the inside.

So the good guys lost? They probably just said it was about selfishness and wickedness so that they could grab some oil.

According to hindu mythology it's still waging on right now. We're supposedly in the age of darkness right now, the kali yuga. I think it's supposed to end approximately in 2442 according to astrology?

Then the cycle starts up again.

Makes diamat sound appealing.

Kara · « **Reply #20 on:** February 17, 2015, 05:34:54 PM »

Yo Jake, let's kick it at the agora (strip mall) and read these. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapeia

You can wear cargo shorts if I can wear my Freie Deutsche Jugend shirt.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #21 on:** February 17, 2015, 06:31:34 PM »

TIL: irrumatio

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #22 on:** February 17, 2015, 10:14:48 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 17, 2015, 02:30:13 PM

Norse mythology wise I will say that the Ragnarök is pretty awesome.

plus the autocorrect-o to "Kangaröo" is the best thing in the entire "Tales of" franchise

benjipwns · « **Reply #23 on:** February 17, 2015, 10:27:05 PM »

Quote from: Esch on February 17, 2015, 02:16:17 PM

Now compare this to what the grecian gods did to their enemies the titans. they lashed out against their predecessors in a move of fury, who had only attacked Uranus because he had imprisoned the children of Gaea. After they won the divine racial war they ultimately started, they imprisoned the titans, or enslaved them, like Atlas.

Some accounts say they were released when the gods had become secure in their power.

I think you're forgetting that Kratos released them in his war of vengeance against his father.

benjipwns · « **Reply #24 on:** February 17, 2015, 10:33:27 PM »

That's actually one of my favorite things about the God of War games (mostly II) and the more recent Wonder Woman comics (last decade or so) is how fucking petty they made/make all the Gods. Most of the original stories had them as a Pantheon of Assholes too.

Oh, and Wonder Woman often makes a lot of them perverts too, so double bonus.

benjipwns · « **Reply #25 on:** February 17, 2015, 11:28:23 PM »

I actually like a lot of popular takes that are "sympathetic" to Satan because they can't really portray God without upsetting half the country, Reaper, South Park, Angel, etc. It often works out to where there's this larger eternal game or whatever, but Satan is the only one who bothers to "play it" actively to the point he sometimes truly helps peoples lives because it's part of the larger game, while God is unseen and basically all like "the humans have to do it for themselves" but refuses to let humans know anything about it, so they can be endlessly hurt, etc. He's kinda like that in DC Comics too, God won't help nearly anybody for dick, but there's like ten thousand agents of Hell running around and Lucifer just wants to run a nightclub. (Highfather barely does shit either, while Darkseid is destroying universes every other week.)

I guess I just find it more amusing when I talk to people who are Christian in some form and just view it all God/Heaven/Nice/Good vs. Satan/Hell/Liar/Evil when the Old Testament before the Crisis miniseries rebooted things with the New Testament always gave me more of that vibe that these shows/comics/etc. are falling into sometimes unintentionally.

I loved Futurama's God. "I saw. You were doing very well, until everyone died."

I like starting paragraphs with I.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #26 on:** February 17, 2015, 11:35:52 PM »

Quote from: benjipwns on February 17, 2015, 11:28:23 PM

I actually like a lot of popular takes that are "sympathetic" to Satan because they can't really portray God without upsetting half the country, Reaper, South Park, Angel, etc. It often works out to where there's this larger eternal game or whatever, but Satan is the only one who bothers to "play it" actively to the point he sometimes truly helps peoples lives because it's part of the larger game, while God is unseen and basically all like "the humans have to do it for themselves" but refuses to let humans know anything about it, so they can be endlessly hurt, etc. He's kinda like that in DC Comics too, God won't help nearly anybody for dick, but there's like ten thousand agents of Hell running around and Lucifer just wants to run a nightclub. (Highfather barely does shit either, while Darkseid is destroying universes every other week.)

I guess I just find it more amusing when I talk to people who are Christian in some form and just view it all God/Heaven/Nice/Good vs. Satan/Hell/Liar/Evil when the Old Testament before the Crisis miniseries rebooted things with the New Testament always gave me more of that vibe that these shows/comics/etc. are falling into sometimes unintentionally.

I loved Futurama's God. "I saw. You were doing very well, until everyone died."

I like starting paragraphs with I.

Allow me to translate...

Bippity Boppity Boo.

Kara · « **Reply #27 on:** February 18, 2015, 12:17:53 AM »

Quote from: benjipwns on February 17, 2015, 11:28:23 PM

the Old Testament before the Crisis miniseries rebooted things with the New Testament

benjipwns · « **Reply #28 on:** February 18, 2015, 02:31:05 AM »

Chinese/Japanese/Korean/etc. stuff has a lot of a "you had to be there" feel to it to me. They can be the religious equivalents of like an employee handbook.

Some African gods sound neat though those tend to be associated with tribes so it can be spotty to find much on them. There was one that Anthony Bourdain visited and their concept was that god was a giant man who lived on the other side of the world and would like throw stuff to their side but only things with specific markings to indicate they were from him. Stuff found outside that wasn't to be trusted.

Coincidentally one of the things this god threw them happened to be everything necessary to learn how to distill spirits with basically stone age technology.

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Author Topic: Let's discuss a crucial god to the ancient Romans, lads. (Read 2230 times)