Author Topic: "That" Friend......  (Read 3661 times)

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Am_I_Anonymous

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"That" Friend......
« on: February 24, 2015, 02:28:28 PM »
Any of you guys have a friend that never contributes anything of worth but expects you to bend over to help them? I literally just had a texting argument with my buddy Josh that went like this;

Josh "Hey man u gonna let me and the kids borrow your snowmobiles before the snow melts?"

Me "I haven't even taken them out of the garage, it's been too cold"

Josh "Dude you always say that, come on man we just need them for a day"

Me "Nah man, I'm not going to spend hours getting them ready if I'm not using them"

Josh "I hate it when ur a dick like this"

Me "What have I ever used of yours, just curious"

Josh "What's that even mean?"

Me "Just saying you're being awfully pushy"

He's not a bad guy he's just a compulsive user of other's stuff and I am not one to handle that shit well.

YMMV

Am_I_Anonymous

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2015, 02:35:57 PM »
Slowly in the process of ridding myself of these

I have done so as well. I mean like I said, he's a good dude overall. He just doesn't understand the concept of property and why you don't have a right to it if you don't own it. The rest of our group actually call taking somebody else's stuff "Joshing".... I just "joshed" two of your beers while I was waiting on you  to get over here is an example.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2015, 02:41:00 PM by Am_I_Anonymous »
YMMV

Am_I_Anonymous

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2015, 02:39:07 PM »
I had a boyfriend of my sisters come over once and start eating the food we just ordered, I about traded hands with him. I can't stand people who do that shit.


Pizza? Sure

Chinese? Sure

Veal from an italian place probably ain't set out for you to enjoy, breh.
YMMV

CatsCatsCats

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2015, 03:03:39 PM »
We had a guy who would show up to parties and act indignant like "yo, where's the weed" "what are we drinking" and it's like dude wtf did you bring exactly? Oh nothing, as always.

Kara

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2015, 03:04:08 PM »
Not really. I'm too stubborn to ever ask for help (thus providing quid pro quo rationales) and too fond of being an ass when opportunity strikes to ever have someone like this in my life for very long.

e: I guess I kind of date people like this though, that's more emotional than labor-based though.

Huff

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2015, 03:06:46 PM »
Is this the guy that never buys the next round when it's his turn?
dur

Am_I_Anonymous

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2015, 03:07:54 PM »
Is this the guy that never buys the next round when it's his turn?

Can be, yeah.
YMMV

Brehvolution

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2015, 03:15:05 PM »
I had one. He was my best friend in HS. We were in a band together. But after HS, he dropped out after 1 semester at college. He basically became a bum. The dude loved weed. He never had money and when he did he spent it all on weed. So you either had to catch him a buzz or buy his drink or whatever we were doing. I constantly paid his way just so he could hang out with the rest of us. He moved away for a few years, had a baby, managed a Chilis, doing what a person is supposed to do. His girl left him(she's whack) and a year into managing Chili he was either fired or quit(some story where it's their fault). Over the course of the next year, he's broke so ends up selling almost everything he owns until all he has is a car(that's probably uninsured), a trailer that he lives in, a big screen, and a 360. I tell him it's time to move back here. He didn't have any reason to stay there. Right before he is supposed to move down, he goes nuts and ends up in the psyche ward for 4 weeks. He said they diagnosed him with schizophrenia and he's on a heavy psychoactive. Now he's on disability and gets around $1000/month from the state to live off of. He can't work more than 20 hours a week or he'll lose his benefits and he won't be able to afford his medicine. When he does work 20 hours, all he does is complain how tired it makes him. :comeon

We ended up starting up another band about a year and a half ago. Practiced every Tuesday night. We'd show up, smoke up, jam, and have a good time. Then he started taking things real serious like we had to get ready for a gig we didn't have. He started making comments about my playing. Saying I need to practice at home and start taking it seriously. I said no. I don't have time to practice at home if I wanted to and I'm just here to hang out and have fun. I can tell he stewed on that until the next week when we practiced. I knew he was mad because he didn't come over that Sunday before to smoke. He was always out of weed by Sunday so he needed me to catch one.  Tuesday came and we started playing. He asked me if I practiced over the week. I told him no and I told you I wasn't going to. He stopped and put down his guitar and went out for a cigarette. I was joking with the other guys while he was outside. He came back in and asked to talk to me and basically kicked me out of his band.  :lol The other guys didn't know what was going on. They didn't take it seriously either. They ended up practicing 2 more times before it all ended. It was ridiculous and the last straw for me with him as my friend.

I've talk to him at least twice over the past year. Just shoot the shit or whatever. There was a lot of history with us so it's hard just to end it all. I won't ever do shit for him again though.
©ZH

lennedsay

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2015, 03:19:11 PM »
We know several guys named Josh, and they're all like this lol
(|)

Brehvolution

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2015, 03:28:39 PM »
No, I expected to spend 2 hours having a good time with my bros. Plus, he fashions himself a good singer. He's not.
I sounded fine.
©ZH

Rufus

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2015, 03:39:16 PM »
I don't like to owe anyone anything and I shy away from deep interpersonal connections with people I don't want to fuck, so this doesn't really happen to me. Haven't had any accquantainces ask for more than trivial things, which I have no issue providing.
Basically, if it has to be scheduled or costs me more than a low double digit amount you're on your own.

---

Isn't weed kind of sketchy if you have schizophrenia?

bork

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2015, 03:44:23 PM »
Can't say I've ever been asked to do any big favors, but there's a friend of mine who will never hang out with me.  Ever.  We were good friends in high school but kind of drifted apart in college.  I think things started getting weird whenever he would get a girlfriend-- he would 'disappear' for months until the relationship was over.  I went off to Japan for a couple of years and when I came back, he was not in a relationship and we hung out a few times.  To be honest, I didn't really think we had much in common anymore and it was kind of awkward meeting up with him.  Anyway he got another girlfriend and we met up right when they started dating.  I didn't see or really even hear from him until two years later, when they invited my wife and I to their engagement party.  We went to their wedding months later and I have not seen him since.  Every time I tried to make plans to meet up, he always flaked out or never called me back after saying he wanted to hang out.

I'm also not the only one who this has happened to.  Another friend of his was telling me that his wife is very controlling and basically tells him he can't do go out and do anything, and he complies.  I happened to bump into his mother once and even she said something similar and rolled her eyes about it when I told her I hadn't seen him in a long time.

I pretty much stopped communicating with him last summer.  I fucked up my PC when I tried to upgrade it and he offered to meet up and take a look at it.  I canceled all the plans I had for the weekend and he didn't return my calls or show on that Saturday.  The same thing happened Sunday, when he finally chimed in that he couldn't meet up.  I quit texting him at that point although I do still like a post or two when he says something on Facebook.  I have no idea if this is really his wife controlling him despite the gossip -I barely know her and frankly she seems pretty nice- and think instead that he's just too hung up on his significant other and doesn't want to do anything else.
ど助平

Phoenix Dark

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2015, 03:44:41 PM »
Haven't let people borrow anything of value since this happened.



010

bork

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #13 on: February 24, 2015, 03:48:08 PM »
Haven't let people borrow anything of value since this happened.

That kid was a total asshole.   :(
ど助平

Rufus

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #14 on: February 24, 2015, 03:54:15 PM »
Can't say I've ever been asked to do any big favors, but there's a friend of mine who will never hang out with me.  Ever.  We were good friends in high school but kind of drifted apart in college.  I think things started getting weird whenever he would get a girlfriend-- he would 'disappear' for months until the relationship was over.  I went off to Japan for a couple of years and when I came back, he was not in a relationship and we hung out a few times.  To be honest, I didn't really think we had much in common anymore and it was kind of awkward meeting up with him.  Anyway he got another girlfriend and we met up right when they started dating.  I didn't see or really even hear from him until two years later, when they invited my wife and I to their engagement party.  We went to their wedding months later and I have not seen him since.  Every time I tried to make plans to meet up, he always flaked out or never called me back after saying he wanted to hang out.

I'm also not the only one who this has happened to.  Another friend of his was telling me that his wife is very controlling and basically tells him he can't do go out and do anything, and he complies.  I happened to bump into his mother once and even she said something similar and rolled her eyes about it when I told her I hadn't seen him in a long time.

I pretty much stopped communicating with him last summer.  I fucked up my PC when I tried to upgrade it and he offered to meet up and take a look at it.  I canceled all the plans I had for the weekend and he didn't return my calls or show on that Saturday.  The same thing happened Sunday, when he finally chimed in that he couldn't meet up.  I quit texting him at that point although I do still like a post or two when he says something on Facebook.  I have no idea if this is really his wife controlling him despite the gossip -I barely know her and frankly she seems pretty nice- and think instead that he's just too hung up on his significant other and doesn't want to do anything else.
If it weren't for his mother, I would say that he just doesn't like to socialize and hasn't learned how to communicate that honestly. If his mother says the same thing as everyone else though then he's probably just a doormat.

Joe Molotov

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #15 on: February 24, 2015, 03:55:45 PM »
Haven't let people borrow anything of value since this happened.

©@©™

bork

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #16 on: February 24, 2015, 04:01:52 PM »
Can't say I've ever been asked to do any big favors, but there's a friend of mine who will never hang out with me.  Ever.  We were good friends in high school but kind of drifted apart in college.  I think things started getting weird whenever he would get a girlfriend-- he would 'disappear' for months until the relationship was over.  I went off to Japan for a couple of years and when I came back, he was not in a relationship and we hung out a few times.  To be honest, I didn't really think we had much in common anymore and it was kind of awkward meeting up with him.  Anyway he got another girlfriend and we met up right when they started dating.  I didn't see or really even hear from him until two years later, when they invited my wife and I to their engagement party.  We went to their wedding months later and I have not seen him since.  Every time I tried to make plans to meet up, he always flaked out or never called me back after saying he wanted to hang out.

I'm also not the only one who this has happened to.  Another friend of his was telling me that his wife is very controlling and basically tells him he can't do go out and do anything, and he complies.  I happened to bump into his mother once and even she said something similar and rolled her eyes about it when I told her I hadn't seen him in a long time.

I pretty much stopped communicating with him last summer.  I fucked up my PC when I tried to upgrade it and he offered to meet up and take a look at it.  I canceled all the plans I had for the weekend and he didn't return my calls or show on that Saturday.  The same thing happened Sunday, when he finally chimed in that he couldn't meet up.  I quit texting him at that point although I do still like a post or two when he says something on Facebook.  I have no idea if this is really his wife controlling him despite the gossip -I barely know her and frankly she seems pretty nice- and think instead that he's just too hung up on his significant other and doesn't want to do anything else.
If it weren't for his mother, I would say that he just doesn't like to socialize and hasn't learned how to communicate that honestly. If his mother says the same thing as everyone else though then he's probably just a doormat.

He's way more outgoing than I am.  I'm the introverted little a-hole who never goes out.   :lol  But yeah, really raised an eyebrow when even his mother said something about it.
ど助平

Rufus

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #17 on: February 24, 2015, 04:05:58 PM »
Man after me own heart. :mynicca

So he's a doormat then. (Or he only liked to hang out with you when it was convenient, so now that the opportunity cost is too high he's worming out whenever possible.)

bork

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #18 on: February 24, 2015, 04:14:04 PM »
Well, again, he was flaking out on everybody from what I heard, so it's not just me.

At this point in my life I don't hang out with friends much anyway.  I'm an old man of 33 and am perfectly happy staying home playing games and with the dog and shit on the weekends.  I never hang out with co-workers because I figure I'm already spending enough time with them as it is and most of my friends are all busy with their own families to do anything anymore.  Not that it never happens...it's just a lot less frequent.  The same thing has happened to my wife.
ど助平

Rufus

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #19 on: February 24, 2015, 04:15:57 PM »
I was made for that life. :aah

chronovore

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #20 on: February 24, 2015, 06:05:03 PM »
We know several guys named Josh, and they're all like this lol
I only know one "Josh,” and it sounds like he’s stolen the generosity and productiveness from all your guys’ Joshes.

lennedsay

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #21 on: February 24, 2015, 10:26:12 PM »
We know several guys named Josh, and they're all like this lol
I only know one "Josh,” and it sounds like he’s stolen the generosity and productiveness from all your guys’ Joshes.

Nice! Glad to here there's one out there.

One of the Joshes we know has the beautiful nickname of "Booger" so, much like AIA's "Joshing" terminology, our friends refer to this behavior* as "Boogered" or "Boogerdom" or something similar. And when other people behave in this way, someone ends up saying, "Wow, didn't realize so-and-so was a fucking Booger."

*Behavior refers to taking shit, "borrowing" shit, leaving messes for other people to clean up, being passive aggressively competitive aka one-upping sumbitch, general uselessness, etc.
(|)

StealthFan

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #22 on: February 24, 2015, 11:32:48 PM »
Haven't let people borrow anything of value since this happened.

:sabu
reckt

Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #23 on: February 25, 2015, 12:07:29 AM »
Haven't let people borrow anything of value since this happened.


:'( this is so vicious

Jesus he sounds like a little sociopath.

...I'm sure he's a successful CEO today.

chronovore

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #24 on: February 25, 2015, 12:46:31 AM »
Haven't let people borrow anything of value since this happened.


:'( this is so vicious

Jesus he sounds like a little sociopath.

...I'm sure he's a successful CEO today.

I thought PD says, later in that thread, that the guy’s in jail. So... that worked out.

Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #25 on: February 25, 2015, 12:49:35 AM »
I thought that was different guy, same pseudonym used. Me not read too gud tho.

chronovore

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #26 on: February 25, 2015, 12:54:13 AM »
I thought that was different guy, same pseudonym used. Me not read too gud tho.
Or maybe it was me not read good, as I’m on allergy meds and too much coffee. Attention span of a ...what was that?!

Kara

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #27 on: February 25, 2015, 01:30:28 AM »
At the commune, if the pizza is out for more than 6 hours it's open season.

CatsCatsCats

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #28 on: February 25, 2015, 01:37:35 AM »
It strikes me as strange that pizza is left at room temperate longer than 6 hours enough for you to establish an observation or rule :lol

Kara

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #29 on: February 25, 2015, 01:51:40 AM »
pls understand, this is a place where our Halloween pumpkins were left outside, on a ledge, that runs along our front walkway, for 3+ fucking weeks--and would have stayed there longer, rotting, smelling, if I hadn't ceased to find gagging every morning and evening when I came home a novelty.

Human Snorenado

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #30 on: February 25, 2015, 01:55:58 AM »
pls understand, this is a place where our Halloween pumpkins were left outside, on a ledge, that runs along our front walkway, for 3+ fucking weeks--and would have stayed there longer, rotting, smelling, if I hadn't ceased to find gagging every morning and evening when I came home a novelty.

Live with hippies, breh
yar

Kara

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #31 on: February 25, 2015, 02:33:56 AM »
Place is hilarious. I'd probably hate it if I wasn't a workaholic who's barely home, but I'm not so I can enjoy things like an open bottle of salty watermelon UV sitting on our counter for a month.

I'd have kept a LJ thread about all this but I was afraid its tone would be misread.

DCharlieJP

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #32 on: February 25, 2015, 02:50:50 AM »
wait until you get older !

O=X

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #33 on: February 25, 2015, 07:37:28 AM »
I got rid of these people a while ago from my life.  No regrets :aah

Edit: I even made a previous post about it: http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=42300.msg1929141#msg1929141
« Last Edit: February 25, 2015, 07:45:28 AM by Mary Tyler Whore »
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Kara

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2015, 01:22:48 PM »
TBH, unless it's a total emergency or you're legitimately PUP, asking people to help you move is always tacky, even immediate family. Being unable or unwilling to take responsibility for your personal property even offends my diminished concept of self-esteem.

bork

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #35 on: February 25, 2015, 04:09:32 PM »
I got rid of these people a while ago from my life.  No regrets :aah

Edit: I even made a previous post about it: http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=42300.msg1929141#msg1929141

LOL, I made almost the same post in that thread that I did in this one.   :lol
:dead

If you're over the age of 30 and have a stable career and ask me to help you move, that's reason for me to never talk to you again.

I'm not in my 20s anymore. I have shit to do. My time is valuable.

I'm not going to spend a Saturday afternoon inhaling the dust from your stanky comic book collection with fucking Tremblay beer and shitty pizza as payment.

Get fucking movers, or at the very least, organize everything so the move goes smooth as can be.

Just ranting cause someone ask me to help them move in March.

IN MARCH.

In case you didn't know, Montreal in March = (Image removed from quote.)

And this guy makes a decent salary. But he just bought a MKII arcade cabinet for 600$ (which I'd have to move too).

So I told him to lick the salt off of my asshole.

Yeah, any of those requests always go ignored.  I wouldn't think of asking people to help, either-- always hire movers for what's needed.  It's better that way, anyway- they're pros and have the equipment and trucks to move stuff properly. 
ど助平

Rman

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #36 on: February 25, 2015, 04:40:16 PM »
 I've always used movers. Even in my 20s. They're way more efficient.

CatsCatsCats

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Re: "That" Friend......
« Reply #37 on: February 25, 2015, 05:15:39 PM »
Yeah, hiring movers is far superior, and usually if you're moving the added cost is probably negligible. The time saved is worth every fucking penny. Support local workers.