Author Topic: So, want to be a parent brehs? (Read 4104 times)

Am_I_Anonymous · « **on:** February 27, 2015, 03:09:31 PM »

Ugh...

My daughter has her first boyfriend, which I guess is inevitable. However having my wife catch him with his hand up my daughter's shirt and then try to call me approximately 22 times today...while I have my own fire to deal with....is killing me.

"AiA I CAUGHT HIM WITH HIS HAND UP HER SHIRT"

"You sure baby?"

"Nicca, would I call you to fuck around?" <------This word only comes into play when I do something wrong so at this point I am fucked

"okay, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Nothing I'll handle it"

"Then why did you call me at work?"

*click <----------no sex for me this weekend

Now I am in trouble, I can never look at my daughter as daddy's little girl anymore, and I have an itch to pistol whip a 13 year old kid.....

The struggle is still real....

StealthFan · « **Reply #1 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:12:03 PM »

13 year olds be sucking dick and straight fucking these days. The struggle is realer than you think.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #2 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:13:20 PM »

Quote from: StealthFan on February 27, 2015, 03:12:03 PM

13 year olds be sucking dick and straight fucking these days. The struggle is realer than you think.

If she had been caught doing any of these things there would be a dead CAC by 5:01pm.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #3 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:14:11 PM »

I've got a 14 year old. I'm here for you, breh.

She really call you nicca though?

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #4 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:15:19 PM »

Quote from: JayDubya on February 27, 2015, 03:14:18 PM

Do you have a shotgun and / or knife collection and a porch with which to display said items?

I own more guns than I have fingers and toes man. I think I'm just going to play my best football hits for him next time he stops by, little shitwad. That or go the old fashioned route and beat his dad up....

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #5 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:17:34 PM »

Quote from: Brehvolution on February 27, 2015, 03:14:11 PM

I've got a 14 year old. I'm here for you, breh.

She really call you nicca though?

She's used that word on me in anger 4 times in my life.

Once for being too drunk at my BBQ when I was younger

Once for telling her that her family is full of militant ass dudes

Once for...well that one is going to stay with me

And today.

I am not sure exactly what I did but I'm sure I'll hear all about it here in about an hour.

Kara · « **Reply #6 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:17:40 PM »

Sure lucked out.

*goes back to 15 hour day, followed by coming home to a house of 30 something children to catch a few hours of sleep so that I can work another 15 on Saturday*

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #7 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:20:20 PM »

I'd be remiss not to point out that for all my guns and working out every day my wife is about 15 times tougher than me. 5' nothing 100 and nothin pounds of pure amazon anger when she's mad.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #8 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:20:36 PM »

I feel for you. Good luck this weekend.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #9 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:21:43 PM »

Quote from: Brehvolution on February 27, 2015, 03:20:36 PM

I feel for you. Good luck this weekend.

Meh, just another rock in the river of love. I remember laughing at my dad when this shit went down with him and he'd say "yeah boy let's see how you handle it, your momma is a goddamn barbarian"

It's even worse when you're in trouble and you ain't done shit wrong. I know you know that struggle bro.

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #10 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:24:42 PM »

I've noticed that whenever you bring up your wife, you tend to say something minor or insignificant(from my perspective) and then your wife would cut you off from sex. Why would you put up such behavior?

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #11 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:24:46 PM »

That shit is real. The interaction with the wife is almost too real.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #12 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:25:14 PM »

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 27, 2015, 03:24:42 PM

I've noticed that whenever you bring up your wife, you tend to say something minor or insignificant(from my perspective) and then your wife would cut you off from sex. Why would you put up such behavior?

You married?

Brehvolution · « **Reply #13 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:26:11 PM »

Because marriage is like an RPG. Some hits miss and some hit hard.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #14 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:27:55 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on February 27, 2015, 03:17:40 PM

Sure lucked out. *goes back to 15 hour day, followed by coming home to a house of 30 something children to catch a few hours of sleep so that I can work another 15 on Saturday*

AiA's not gonna be so forgiving next time.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #15 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:30:30 PM »

About to head out, wish me luck Borians ha ha.

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #16 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:31:06 PM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 27, 2015, 03:25:14 PM

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 27, 2015, 03:24:42 PM
I've noticed that whenever you bring up your wife, you tend to say something minor or insignificant(from my perspective) and then your wife would cut you off from sex. Why would you put up such behavior?

You married?

No I'm not but-

Quote from: Brehvolution on February 27, 2015, 03:26:11 PM

Because marriage is like an RPG. Some hits miss and some hit hard.

this makes sense to me.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:33:56 PM »

Obviously Am shouldn't have questioned his wife like she don't know what teenage tit touching is all about. Then instead of being supportive and asking if his wife was OK in experiencing such an awkward event, he basically tells her that her silly women emotions aren't worth disturbing him from posting on forums at work. I'm not even married or a woman and I get why he'll be sleeping when he gets to bed.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #18 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:36:29 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 27, 2015, 03:33:56 PM

Obviously Am shouldn't have questioned his wife like she don't know what teenage tit touching is all about. Then instead of being supportive and asking if his wife was OK in experiencing such an awkward event, he basically tells her that her silly women emotions aren't worth disturbing him from posting on forums at work. I'm not even married or a woman and I get why he'll be sleeping when he gets to bed.

You're killin me lately, brother

Brehvolution · « **Reply #19 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:36:59 PM »

Those of us who post from work are great multi-taskers. Work still comes first though.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #20 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:37:20 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 27, 2015, 03:33:56 PM

Obviously Am shouldn't have questioned his wife like she don't know what teenage tit touching is all about. Then instead of being supportive and asking if his wife was OK in experiencing such an awkward event, he basically tells her that her silly women emotions aren't worth disturbing him from posting on forums at work. I'm not even married or a woman and I get why he'll be sleeping when he gets to bed.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #21 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:38:09 PM »

Throw him in the bushes ASAP before it's too late.

king of the internet · « **Reply #22 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:38:49 PM »

She's getting deep dicked on the reg and you just gotta deal with it.

nachobro · « **Reply #23 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:56:20 PM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 27, 2015, 03:09:31 PM

"Then why did you call me at work?"

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #24 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:15:57 PM »

Quote from: Brehvolution on February 27, 2015, 03:36:59 PM

Those of us who post from work are great multi-taskers. Work still comes first though.

Clearly.

1) Work
2) Wife
3) Thebore

seems right to me.

Atramental · « **Reply #25 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:18:58 PM »

All I can remember from when I was 13 was that God had it out for me because I rubbed one out to the women's hose & stocking page in a Lands' End catalogue.

Good times...

nachobro · « **Reply #26 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:23:44 PM »

Land's End? You fuckin white ass motherfucker

Rufus · « **Reply #27 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:26:04 PM »

I hope the models had more meat on their bones back then, because what I'm seeing on their website is regular double marathon tier.

Atramental · « **Reply #28 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:26:41 PM »

I can't help it that my parents are CACs.

At least we never had North Face stuff.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #29 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:54:02 PM »

Glad my daughter is three right now, but I'll have to deal with this someday. I remember what I did in high school, so it will be interesting to see how I respond.

Kara · « **Reply #30 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:54:33 PM »

Quote from: Brehvolution on February 27, 2015, 03:26:11 PM

Because marriage is like an RPG. Some hits miss and some hit hard.

Y'all need to find min/maxing Jesus.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #31 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:55:48 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on February 27, 2015, 04:54:02 PM

Glad my daughter is three right now, but I'll have to deal with this someday. I remember what I did in high school, so it will be interesting to see how I respond.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:56:29 PM »

"GUNDUM I CAUGHT HIM WITH HIS BUTT FILLED WITH HER STRAP ON"

"You sure baby?"

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #33 on:** February 27, 2015, 04:59:29 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 27, 2015, 04:55:48 PM

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on February 27, 2015, 04:54:02 PM
Glad my daughter is three right now, but I'll have to deal with this someday. I remember what I did in high school, so it will be interesting to see how I respond.

(Image removed from quote.)

Man, the books got it all wrong. I don't have an Asian fetish.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #34 on:** February 27, 2015, 05:23:48 PM »

I try not to think about this stuff too much at the moment haha. they're just babies

I guess my general rule would be 'don't get anyone pregnant, including yourself' and 'don't be a slut*'

*applies to dudes too.

nachobro · « **Reply #35 on:** February 27, 2015, 05:34:58 PM »

Quote from: nudemacusers on February 27, 2015, 05:23:48 PM

I try not to think about this stuff too much at the moment haha. they're just babies

I guess my general rule would be 'don't get anyone pregnant, including yourself' and 'don't be a slut*'

*applies to dudes too.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Typical.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #36 on:** February 27, 2015, 06:00:53 PM »

MODS HELP

Kara · « **Reply #37 on:** February 27, 2015, 06:15:37 PM »

Maybe mac is self loathing instead of hypocritical.

helios · « **Reply #38 on:** February 27, 2015, 06:43:21 PM »

Clearly the hand must be severed and hung from the doorknob.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #39 on:** February 27, 2015, 06:58:14 PM »

I remember someone in my highschool had a gun pulled on them by a parent for being in his daughter's room. Word got around and everyone thought the dude was a scary badass, but then word got further around to various parents and the dude was arrested because pulling a gun on a 15 year kid old isn't good parenting it's being a psycho.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #40 on:** February 27, 2015, 07:02:37 PM »

Ya joking about pulling a gun is one thing, actually doing it should put you in jail.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #41 on:** February 27, 2015, 07:31:41 PM »

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #42 on:** February 27, 2015, 11:54:03 PM »

"i pray nightly that my daughter is a lesbian so that i never face homicide charges"

"that is the most rednecked fucking thing you've said and you are a font of rednecked things"

brawndolicious · « **Reply #43 on:** February 28, 2015, 12:46:47 AM »

It might be a good idea to have a frank discussion on sex and when she would want to be on birth control (not right now but in a few years), just generally open the doors of sex advice. Last thing you want to do with a teenage girl is have both parents double down on the restrictions and discipline as soon as they find out she's got hormones but you seem like a nice/smart enough parent to figure out how to communicate with your kids, otherwise you'd already be a grandparent or have your kids growing into permavirgins.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #44 on:** February 28, 2015, 01:10:06 AM »

The problem here is, he won't be the last.

I'll know it far too soon.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #45 on:** February 28, 2015, 06:13:10 PM »

no update yet. Is AiA in jail or cradling his new grand baby?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #46 on:** February 28, 2015, 06:18:02 PM »

Got stuck in the dog house.

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #47 on:** February 28, 2015, 10:10:58 PM »

My daughter might turn out a lesbian so this will never happen

Then again she is MY daughter so she will play those chumps

chronovore · « **Reply #48 on:** March 01, 2015, 12:25:15 AM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 27, 2015, 03:25:14 PM

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 27, 2015, 03:24:42 PM
I've noticed that whenever you bring up your wife, you tend to say something minor or insignificant(from my perspective) and then your wife would cut you off from sex. Why would you put up such behavior?

You married?

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on February 27, 2015, 04:59:29 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 27, 2015, 04:55:48 PM
Quote from: Mr. Gundam on February 27, 2015, 04:54:02 PM
Glad my daughter is three right now, but I'll have to deal with this someday. I remember what I did in high school, so it will be interesting to see how I respond.

(Image removed from quote.)

Man, the books got it all wrong. I don't have an Asian fetish.

You don’t have an Asian girl fetish. Robots, on the other hand...

FWIW, I think God hands out beautiful daughters to fathers who were bad boys earlier in life, to let them reflect on the error of their ways. I know that’s how it’s worked for me, thus far. $:-\$

Kara · « **Reply #49 on:** March 01, 2015, 03:43:39 AM »

Quote from: chronovore on March 01, 2015, 12:25:15 AM

FWIW, I think God hands out beautiful daughters to fathers who were bad boys earlier in life, to let them reflect on the error of their ways. I know that’s how it’s worked for me, thus far. $:-\$

Jedem das Seine, nein?

chronovore · « **Reply #50 on:** March 01, 2015, 04:46:08 AM »

Google Translate can not have done that any less justice.

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #51 on:** March 01, 2015, 06:42:14 AM »

To each his own no?

chronovore · « **Reply #52 on:** March 01, 2015, 08:51:05 AM »

“To each his own” means whatever turns you on, or everybody has their own way of doing things. I would have expected “Everybody gets what’s coming to them” or “karma’s a bitch."

Rufus · « **Reply #53 on:** March 01, 2015, 08:57:21 AM »

It can be used that way, too. You get what you deserve, basically. Buchenwald had it written on its gates, but it's not as thoroughly tainted as "Arbeit macht frei", mostly because it has a longer history than that.

Kara · « **Reply #54 on:** March 01, 2015, 11:09:06 AM »

It's funny because my parents used to say, "Arbeit macht Frei," to me when I kvetched about doing chores.

Also cuz I used ;hitler (sic.).

Kara · « **Reply #55 on:** March 01, 2015, 11:10:07 AM »

Saying so much with four words and a smiley.

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #56 on:** March 01, 2015, 03:56:53 PM »

lol i would never let you smoke my weed

chronovore · « **Reply #57 on:** March 01, 2015, 06:12:34 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on March 01, 2015, 11:09:06 AM

It's funny because my parents used to say, "Arbeit macht Frei," to me when I kvetched about doing chores.

Also cuz I used ;hitler (sic.).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedem_das_Seine
I should have Googled instead of google translate. Wow.

It’s sad that Burger King’s “Have it your way” was translated to this.

Kara · « **Reply #58 on:** March 01, 2015, 06:26:48 PM »

Quote from: chronovore on March 01, 2015, 06:12:34 PM

It’s sad that Burger King’s “Have it your way” was translated to this.

Sic semper tyrannis.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's funny cuz tyrants were functional equivalents of (pre-constitutional) kings.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I thought posting

would be insensitive.

[close]

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #59 on:** March 01, 2015, 06:46:06 PM »

Not really. Tyrants were 'illegitimate' kings where 'rex' would be used for legitimate kings. So I guess it comes down to does the Burger King come from a line of Burger Kings in a state where Burger Kings have traditionally ruled or did the Burger King oust someone to get his title? It could also be a political distinction where the powers that be might want to give the illusion of legitimacy to the Burger Tyrant by calling him the Burger King even though he just walked into a McDonald's one day and took over the place.

News:

Author Topic: So, want to be a parent brehs? (Read 4104 times)