Author Topic: OMG sushi girl, what did you do (Read 8038 times)

Madrun Badrun · « **on:** March 04, 2015, 08:59:17 PM »

Facts:
1) My family thinks I'm gay since I lack the social skills to get a girlfriend
2) I have gone to this sushi place 3 times this week, but I have only been in there 3 times. ALL # TIMES WAS TAKE OUT BY MY SELF PD
3) Sushi girl is Japanese and speaks broken English

So I had sushi with my uncle since he was in Toronto. I had seen him in about 5 years. At the end sushi girl asks me 'is he new one?' , I look stunned and my uncle goes 'no no we're family'. I come to my sense and say 'I've only been here 3 times, I don't think you know me.' To which sushi girl says 'no I know you' and smiles. My uncle and me ignore the incident.

Now my family is going to think I've been gaying it up with old men. Jesus sushi girl, what did you do?

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Kara · « **Reply #1 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:04:26 PM »

Join us, Arvie.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #2 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:05:06 PM »

Now I need to find a beard to pretend to be my girlfriend. This is like the epitome of non-gay gay problems.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

In all honesty I'm pretty damn humiliated. :'( and I can't not go back because its the only sushi place within 10 min walk from my place.

[close]

nachobro · « **Reply #3 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:05:23 PM »

going for sushi regularly can add up. maybe you should gay it up with some old men and give them the bill

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #4 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:14:54 PM »

I even mentioned to my uncle that I'd never stayed in at the place to eat in, so I'm hoping he deduces that the sushi girl is a delusional bitch instead of just assuming that his nephew is a butt slut.

I also was going to mention that I just discovered this place last week when the conversation lulled but didn't get it in. Jesus.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #5 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:16:46 PM »

If only my family knew that I did in fact go one one date WITH A GIRL like a year ago.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #6 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:17:44 PM »

what were you wearing?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #7 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:18:54 PM »

The same damn thing I've worn everytime I've gone in there. Clearly that's a good indication that I like vagina.

Supermanisdead · « **Reply #8 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:19:24 PM »

taking ur sugar daddies to the same place all the time, smdh

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:20:38 PM »

well maybe your uncle looks like a sugar daddy

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #10 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:21:25 PM »

Seriously though my grandma has given my the 'we'll love you no matter what' speech twice. I'm pretty sure I'll be getting a third by email by the end of the month.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #11 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:23:02 PM »

heaven help you if nudemacs or phoenixdark ever decide to stop by for a visit.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #12 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:23:29 PM »

I also have the urge to make sure sushi girl, who is like 40, knows I'm not gay. Seriously why does the world think I'm a cock lover?

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #13 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:24:32 PM »

You must have the sex with her. Make it happen.

Kara · « **Reply #14 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:25:25 PM »

Flannel Girl, Sushi Girl, I feel that the evidence is clear, Boreans: Canorean men should swear off girls--they're clearly quite stress inducing.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #15 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:26:56 PM »

It's also humiliating that sushi girl thinks I'd be into old men. Clearly I would be a top in any counter factual sushi girl. Did they teach you nothing but how to serve fish in Japan, sushi girl?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #16 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:28:08 PM »

Ya at least Malek got a girl in the end. All I got was a fictional old man in the end.

jakefromstatefarm · « **Reply #17 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:29:52 PM »

Show them the porn you're into. That should clear up any ambiguity.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #18 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:30:34 PM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on March 04, 2015, 09:23:02 PM

heaven help you if nudemacs or phoenixdark ever decide to stop by for a visit.

i can do a convincing straight guy impression when called upon to do so, thank you very much.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #19 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:30:45 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on March 04, 2015, 09:26:56 PM

It's also humiliating that sushi girl thinks I'd be into old men. Clearly I would be a top in any counter factual sushi girl. Did they teach you nothing but how to serve fish in Japan, sushi girl?

You need to go back in and demand to speak with her and her manager and conference in your family. And state that you're offended by her assumption because if you were gay, which you totally aren't, you'd be a top. That will finally convince everyone as to your non-gayness.

Also, please post results here.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #20 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:33:33 PM »

You've got one shot at this, Arvie, next time you're at the sushi shop and sushi girl comes near to your table, you've got to jump up on top of that table tell her how it is:

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #21 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:33:37 PM »

Ya I'll unlock my external drive. That way if I ever git hit by a car they can go 'welp that clears that up' and cancel the rainbow themed funeral flowers which would have expressed what I could have never expressed in life, cause that's how my grandma thinks.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #22 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:33:41 PM »

oh she's 40? most milfs/cougars seem to be drawn to me, it's the younger set that are confused by my elegant charm.

which is ok, i like dem mommies

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #23 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:36:23 PM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on March 04, 2015, 09:24:32 PM

You must have the sex with her. Make it happen.

And leak a sex tape on facebook. This is a reasonable plan.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #24 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:38:03 PM »

Some day I'll bring a girl home and she won't have a penis or anything. My family will be SHOCKED.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #25 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:40:12 PM »

I think I have to move from Toronto now. Maybe go live in a cave with my shame.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #26 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:41:08 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on March 04, 2015, 09:38:03 PM

Some day I'll bring a girl home and she won't have a penis or anything. My family will be SHOCKED.

My god if only someone would make a sitcom of Arvie's family life.

"Hi everyone! Meet my girlfriend Cynthia!"
<pulls down her skirt and panties in front of everyone>
"And she doesn't even have a penis or anything. eh? eh? Who did good?"

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #27 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:42:02 PM »

Like jesus sushi girl couldn't you have listened into our conversation for like two seconds and realize we were talking about relatives?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #28 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:44:06 PM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on March 04, 2015, 09:41:08 PM

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on March 04, 2015, 09:38:03 PM
Some day I'll bring a girl home and she won't have a penis or anything. My family will be SHOCKED.
My god if only someone would make a sitcom of Arvie's family life.

"Hi everyone! Meet my girlfriend Cynthia!"
<pulls down her skirt and panties in front of everyone>
"And she doesn't even have a penis or anything. eh? eh? Who did good?"

This combined with the facebook sex tape would be a great always sunny episode for mac being gay (which is unlike me, because I'm not gay just to be crystal clear)

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #29 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:48:22 PM »

Atramental · « **Reply #30 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:50:35 PM »

I might have a solution, Arvie. It was one I was going to enact when I reached my 30s but I think I'm just going to smoke and drink myself to death instead.

1. Nab some pics of a Tumblr chick you fancy.
2. Create a fake Facebook profile with those Tumblr chick's pics.
3. Enter into a relationship with this profile.

And VOILA! No one can accuse of you of being gay.

Just be sure to discourage any family from ever visiting you or they'll start to see the cracks in your façade.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #31 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:50:44 PM »

I'm seriously drowning in embarrassment

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:52:00 PM »

Quote from: Atramental on March 04, 2015, 09:50:35 PM

I might have a solution, Arvie. It was one I was going to enact when I reached my 30s but I think I'm just going smoke and drink myself to death instead.

1. Nab some pics of a Tumblr chick you fancy.
2. Create a fake Facebook profile with those Tumblr chick's pics.
3. Enter into a relationship with this profile.

And VOILA! No one can accuse of you of being gay.

Just be sure to discourage any family from ever visiting you or they'll start to see the cracks in your façade.

Ya but if I get exposed for being my own beard that would be the end. There's no coming back from a humiliation like that.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #33 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:55:29 PM »

ANd who the fuck would think its a good idea to say 'is he new one' regardless of gender? Like if I'm on a date with a hot girl, which would be true in the counter factual where I go on a date, I don't want her to think I'm some sleaze ball. In her years as a fish server you don't think she would have know this.

Now that I think about it, I didn't tip the first time I went it because i usually don't when ordering out. I think this cunt sabotaged me.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #34 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:56:49 PM »

hold up

why would she ask if he's a "new one" if you have never eaten at the sushi place with someone before?

doesn't her question imply that she has seen you with at least one other man before?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #35 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:59:12 PM »

I made a god damn faq list PD. A god damn list, I've been in there 3 times and gotten take out all 3 times by my self.

Atramental · « **Reply #36 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:00:47 PM »

Perhaps you have a gay doppelgänger?

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #37 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:01:46 PM »

I'm guessing all white guys look the same to her am I right? Just a sea of mayonnaise to her.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

breathe dude, this isn't a big deal

[close]

nudemacusers · « **Reply #38 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:01:53 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on March 04, 2015, 09:52:00 PM

Quote from: Atramental on March 04, 2015, 09:50:35 PM
I might have a solution, Arvie. It was one I was going to enact when I reached my 30s but I think I'm just going smoke and drink myself to death instead.

1. Nab some pics of a Tumblr chick you fancy.
2. Create a fake Facebook profile with those Tumblr chick's pics.
3. Enter into a relationship with this profile.

And VOILA! No one can accuse of you of being gay.

Just be sure to discourage any family from ever visiting you or they'll start to see the cracks in your façade.

Ya but if I get exposed for being my own beard that would be the end. There's no coming back from a humiliation like that.

atra is an edge case and he's still trucking along

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #39 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:02:37 PM »

OK, I might have left some information out of the faq that was relevant, such that I don't lunch with old dudes, so you will forgive me PD for my harsh post. I have updated the faq. Please refer to the faq.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #40 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:11:31 PM »

That's a q! I will not be put into a position where I have to defend my self from being thought of as both gay and homophobic at the same time. I ain't gay and if I were I wouldn't be on the downlow.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #41 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:13:50 PM »

But her question still implies she has seen you with someone. Perhaps the three times you went she saw you park outside and there was a man in the passenger seat.

Unless he was parked in the back seat, ie the Cheebs position.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #42 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:16:34 PM »

I walk. Its 10 mins from my house. Read the thread PD. The facts have been established and the fact is I'm always alone. I'm so alone my family thinks I slum it with dudes.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #43 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:19:30 PM »

Would you consider an escort? I'd pay as long as you take her to the sushi place to eat, and take pictures.

Atramental · « **Reply #44 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:21:34 PM »

We should start a "Help Arvie Get Laid" fund.

Kara · « **Reply #45 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:24:29 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 04, 2015, 10:19:30 PM

Would you consider an escort? I'd pay as long as you take her to the sushi place to eat, and take pictures.

Who got a TER VIP account?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #46 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:25:33 PM »

Nah. With the way the world is conspiring against me on this issue, I'd order a chick named Michelle and wind up with a dude named Micheal discretely banging on my back door.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #47 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:26:44 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on March 04, 2015, 10:24:29 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 04, 2015, 10:19:30 PM
Would you consider an escort? I'd pay as long as you take her to the sushi place to eat, and take pictures.

Who got a TER VIP account?

I see you Vulari.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #48 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:36:31 PM »

Because this will be recorded for all of history on the internet I really just want to say this: Mom, grandma, I'm a fan of vagina.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #49 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:37:11 PM »

no WAI is arvie ever a top. sushi girl knows what's up.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #50 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:37:41 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on March 04, 2015, 10:36:31 PM

Because this will be recorded for all of history on the internet I really just want to say this: Mom, grandma, I'm a fan of anime vagina.

ftfy

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #51 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:39:05 PM »

What's the sushi place? I ask even though I probably don't know it if it's not in the Annex.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #52 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:39:54 PM »

Quote from: nudemacusers on March 04, 2015, 09:30:34 PM

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on March 04, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
heaven help you if nudemacs or phoenixdark ever decide to stop by for a visit.
i can do a convincing straight guy impression when called upon to do so, thank you very much.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #53 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:39:57 PM »

The correct term in Hentai, Van. Lets not pretend like you don't know this.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #54 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:40:46 PM »

trust me, you're better off being into dudes than anime.

it's 2015, head is head

and loli is still FUCKED UP BRO

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #55 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:41:56 PM »

Quote from: Flannel Boy on March 04, 2015, 10:39:05 PM

What's the sushi place? I ask even though I probably don't know it if it's not in the Annex.

Qi Sushi. It across from the low rise looking builds on gerrard.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #56 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:44:01 PM »

seriously, though, have you fucked your uncle? scribble me up some sexy word-pictures, here.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #57 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:45:25 PM »

Quote from: Van Cruncheon on March 04, 2015, 10:39:54 PM

Quote from: nudemacusers on March 04, 2015, 09:30:34 PM
Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on March 04, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
heaven help you if nudemacs or phoenixdark ever decide to stop by for a visit.
i can do a convincing straight guy impression when called upon to do so, thank you very much.

I was playing gay when we met

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #58 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:48:44 PM »

Imagine the vast sea of golden wheat, a soft breeze giving cause to a wave though the ripe crop, because where I'm from, you don't fuck your uncles.

Atramental · « **Reply #59 on:** March 04, 2015, 10:50:39 PM »

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Author Topic: OMG sushi girl, what did you do (Read 8038 times)