I don't dream often. But when I do, things like this happen:
I'm in a mall with my childhood friend, Matt, and some other guy. We go into an EB, don't find anything of interest and go to leave. The guys working there accuse Matt of shoplifting. We tell them they're ridiculous and leave. As we wander the mall, I'm noticing lots of non-descript people talking into Walkie-Talkies. I confront them, the EB guy comes out of hiding and we decide to leave the mall.
When we get to Matt's house the EB guys are there tearing apart his room. When they leave the room, I lean over and ask Matt, "You didn't steal anything, right?" and he answers, "I did, but I left it in the car! They'll never find it!".
Suddenly, we're watching Matthew Barney and Bjork eat a giant wedding cake. Bjork's hair is under a hood. Barney leans over and removed the hood and Bjork's hair grows hundreds of feet tall. The two of them roll around in the cake and we're told that in order for Matt to pay for his crimes, he must enter Bjork's vagina.
It's cavernous. Huge. It pretty much looks like a closeup shot of a vadge. Everytime Matt refuses to enter, a huge gust of wind comes from deep inside the vagina and the lips flutter.
Suddenly! It's revealed that the whole thing has been a movie. We leave the theater and people are raving about it, the theater Marquee reads: "Matthew Barney and Bjork: Cake, The Movie". There are twp guys who outside who have obviously been paid to talk up the movie. They're each reciting a script, but at the same time and each is trying to sound more convincing than the other. My dead grandfather, dressed up in his police uniform, takes them away.
This is why I don't dream often.
