esch: i took a crowbar to the head in high school. which, in hindsight, explains a lot

How'd it happen?
One of the richer kids on my football team used to let us come over after practice on friday. His dad had an underground batting cage or whatever since he used to play for the Cardinals. So breh lets us have our rounds or whatever. I step out of the cage after my turn not looking where i'm going and i take a full aluminum practice swing to the temple... with my helmet in my hands instead of on my head

ah, this is one story that i have no moral high ground to assume.
so, in shop class, i would weld fence and trim nails to large washers and bolts to make pseudo-shurikens. an upper-classman, legendary for stealing trucks and repainting them, and also simply being monstrously stupid -- and who committed the cardinal infraction of being poorer than me -- was sitting in our run-down auditorium eating lunch when i decided to chuck a couple at him from the top seats. i nailed him in the back and leg and made him screech, to which my friends and i laffed and laffed.

a couple months later, we were in the parking lot of the strip mall sears between centralia and chehalis (or was it the yard birds?) blowing up chunks of asphalt with little pieces of primer cord (and claiming it was my friend's shitty dodge backfiring when people squawked) on the fourth of july. he rolled up behind us, took a crowbar (or tire iron) out of his rig, and smacked me on the back of my head and i blacked the fuck out. my friends said i went down like jelly.
my old man reamed the fuck out of me for that one, since he was on the aid call (he was a fireman/paramedic) and he had to explain why his dipshit boy was out-the-fuck-cold. according to him, i took the hit where my skull and neck meet and my muscle sucked up most of the damage. (i am a bit of a meathead nord.) didn't press charges, especially after my dad found out i effectively started it, and since all i had was a terrible headache and a week of a humiliating neckbrace. (also, dude was crying; when i went down, he thought he killed me.) bad times; bad times; CAC TIMES
