Author Topic: Furious 7 Review Thread: Only God Can Judge Me Now (Read 12838 times)

Joe Molotov · « **on:** March 30, 2015, 05:28:25 PM »

84%

http://www.vox.com/2015/3/30/8312025/fast-furious-7-movie-review

Quote

I found myself lingering on the small glances Walker and Diesel share, or the way Ludacris, Gibson, and Walker laugh together. There's real beauty there — something that can't be faked.

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/mar/25/fast-and-furious-7-review-paul-walkers-final-film-is-fitting-tribute

Quote

There’s something almost anthropological about these battles. In both their clashes, Statham and Diesel begin with the foreplay of crashing cars head-on, before exiting, cricking the necks then thwacking each other to bits with fists and spanners. It’s like a strange mating ritual, soundtracked by more meat-smacking than a schnitzel factory.

http://www.flickfilosopher.com/2015/03/fast-furious-7-aka-furious-7-movie-review-head-on-vehicular-hard-on.html

Quote

I could say that Furious 7 is about nothing so much as two men having sex with their cars, and by this I do not mean two men have sex separately with their own automobiles, though there’s definitely an undercurrent of that, too. I mean that two men — Diesel as the “hero” and Jason Statham (Wild Card, The Expendables 3) as the “villain,” though they’re barely distinguishable in action or motive — use their automobiles to have violent sex with each other, by crashing into each other head-on in penis-substitute vehicles not once in this movie but twice, they liked it so much the first time. And, well, some will cry, “Vin and Stath ain’t no fegs!” But c’mon! You cannot explain away the homoeroticism of the scene in which Vin grumbles that a sportscar is a “beast” that he is about to “unleash” and which he then smashes into not one but two other non-car penis substitutes. You just can’t. There’s nothing wrong with two men loving each other very much, but let’s at least be honest about it.

Bore GOAT of the Year

Steve Contra · « **Reply #1 on:** March 30, 2015, 05:29:34 PM »

brob · « **Reply #2 on:** March 30, 2015, 05:33:30 PM »

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #3 on:** March 30, 2015, 05:38:28 PM »

I'm ready.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #4 on:** March 30, 2015, 05:48:00 PM »

Ya I'm so ready.

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #5 on:** March 30, 2015, 05:48:55 PM »

FUCK
YEAH

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #6 on:** March 30, 2015, 06:05:40 PM »

I'm still pretty amazed at how unironically I've enjoyed the latter FF movies.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #7 on:** March 30, 2015, 06:56:12 PM »

Quote from: Mamacint on March 30, 2015, 06:05:40 PM

I'm still pretty amazed at how unironically I've enjoyed the latter FF movies.

F&F 5-7 is basically what The Expendables promised but never delivered.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #8 on:** March 30, 2015, 07:42:01 PM »

I watched the one where they run drugs across the border in my hotel room recently, was pretty fun

Stoney Mason · « **Reply #9 on:** March 30, 2015, 07:42:28 PM »

Quote from: Mamacint on March 30, 2015, 06:05:40 PM

I'm still pretty amazed at how unironically I've enjoyed the latter FF movies.

This is a very odd franchise that started off completely boring and horrible to me then suddenly found its way half way through. I can't really think of another movie franchise that has done it this way.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #10 on:** March 30, 2015, 07:44:26 PM »

Quote from: Stoney Mason on March 30, 2015, 07:42:28 PM

Quote from: Mamacint on March 30, 2015, 06:05:40 PM
I'm still pretty amazed at how unironically I've enjoyed the latter FF movies.

This is a very odd franchise that started of completely boring and horrible to me then suddenly found its way half way through. I can't really think of another movie franchise that has done it this way.

Ya sometimes I just like to sit on a park bench and think about how strange the franchise is.

brob · « **Reply #11 on:** March 30, 2015, 07:54:02 PM »

3 would be great if not for the shit lead imo

Kara · « **Reply #12 on:** March 30, 2015, 08:00:03 PM »

I just pretend he's Peyton Manning and the movie becomes even funnier.

cool breeze · « **Reply #13 on:** March 30, 2015, 08:09:07 PM »

Quote from: Stoney Mason on March 30, 2015, 07:42:28 PM

Quote from: Mamacint on March 30, 2015, 06:05:40 PM
I'm still pretty amazed at how unironically I've enjoyed the latter FF movies.

This is a very odd franchise that started off completely boring and horrible to me then suddenly found its way half way through. I can't really think of another movie franchise that has done it this way.

not on quality but the escalation reminds me of Rocky if they didn't wuss out with 5 and instead pitted Rocky against the robot uprising hinted at in 4.

chronovore · « **Reply #14 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:19:28 PM »

I am so ready for a Helen Mirren Fast-and-Furious movie. What the hell is wrong with the executives?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #15 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:20:19 PM »

I'd watch Helen Mirren in anything honestly

nudemacusers · « **Reply #16 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:35:18 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on March 31, 2015, 11:20:19 PM

I'd watch Helen Mirren in anything honestly

GOAT GILF

mormapope · « **Reply #17 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:38:49 PM »

I've always wanted to fuck and still want to fuck Sigourney Weaver

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:40:55 PM »

http://theredlist.com/media/database/settings/cinema/1970-1980/alien-/064-alien-theredlist.jpg sexiest panties ever

nudemacusers · « **Reply #19 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:52:04 PM »

mormapope · « **Reply #20 on:** March 31, 2015, 11:53:49 PM »

There's something about women in the 80's and panties that clicks. Or maybe its just women during the 80's.

Shelley Long in Night Shift for example:
http://image.tmdb.org/t/p/original/e6SrBGah44zJcP85R4y9j70zRZJ.jpg
http://i1178.photobucket.com/albums/x372/Maxwell1969/ShelleyLong_K35.jpg

nudemacusers · « **Reply #21 on:** April 01, 2015, 12:02:05 AM »

are we looking at the same images bros? those are just your standard hipster panty things. and yes they are the best imo.

oh i glazed over the mormapope post. eh those are basically the same thing anyway.

Cheddahz · « **Reply #22 on:** April 02, 2015, 01:12:05 PM »

gonna go catch this tonight, can't wait

Beezy · « **Reply #23 on:** April 02, 2015, 01:26:24 PM »

Gonna go see it by myself tonight or tomorrow because my friends are wannabe movie snobs who don't know how to appreciate a good action movie.

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #24 on:** April 03, 2015, 12:00:01 AM »

The opening with Stathem is one of the most hilariously over the top intros for a villain. The later FnF movies are so great because they just embrace everything. They know they are stupid, but don't care. Yet I don't even want to call them stupid because they are simply trying to be fun action movies with enjoyable characters.

This wasn't my favorite FnF( I guess that's 6 if only because of the crowd pleasing Rock and Vin team up), but it still had some cool scenes. Tony Jaa was fantastic, Rondha Rousey vs MR was something I did' know I wanted, and i feel this movie upped the ass fanservice

It was just another good FnF movie.

Also this series' crazy adherence to continuity is respectable. Love the Tokyo Drift shout outs.

benjipwns · « **Reply #25 on:** April 03, 2015, 04:40:13 AM »

Quote from: Rahxephon91 on April 03, 2015, 12:00:01 AM

The opening with Stathem is one of the most hilariously over the top intros for a villain. The later FnF movies are so great because they just embrace everything. They know they are stupid, but don't care. Yet I don't even want to call them stupid because they are simply trying to be fun action movies with enjoyable characters.

I know I keep saying it but I'll keep saying it anyway.

Saints Row.

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #26 on:** April 03, 2015, 09:44:21 AM »

Quote from: benjipwns on April 03, 2015, 04:40:13 AM

Quote from: Rahxephon91 on April 03, 2015, 12:00:01 AM
The opening with Stathem is one of the most hilariously over the top intros for a villain. The later FnF movies are so great because they just embrace everything. They know they are stupid, but don't care. Yet I don't even want to call them stupid because they are simply trying to be fun action movies with enjoyable characters.
I know I keep saying it but I'll keep saying it anyway.

Saints Row.

Which is also a series that took it's time to find itself.

Cheddahz · « **Reply #27 on:** April 03, 2015, 12:32:42 PM »

there's a scene with the rock in it towards the end of the movie that's probably going to end up being my favorite scene of the year

spoiler (click to show/hide)

when he's in the hospital and he flexes his arm to tear his cast apart

[close]

overall, it was a great movie

Beezy · « **Reply #28 on:** April 03, 2015, 01:02:55 PM »

Just got back. Loved it of course. I think I'd place it right behind 6.

HyperZoneWasAwesome · « **Reply #29 on:** April 04, 2015, 01:43:37 AM »

I think I liked that last two better, but only slightly. There's a bit too much camera shakiness here to be to my liking, but there's still so damn much awesome shit happening it feels churlish to complain too much.
Statham was full on awesome in this...

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Rock vs. Statham, Diesel vs. Statham, friggin awesome shit

[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Tony Jaa needs to be in everything, Rousey looks like she could have ripped apart Rodriguez as if she were wet tissue paper

[close]

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #30 on:** April 04, 2015, 05:48:49 PM »

Quote from: Rahxephon91 on April 03, 2015, 12:00:01 AM

Also this series' crazy adherence to continuity is respectable.

"Time to take it old school." *drives under a semi*

helios · « **Reply #31 on:** April 04, 2015, 05:49:48 PM »

Just got back from it. What a fun movie. The action pieces were great.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The stuff in LA reminds me of a typical session in GTA Online. Jet shooting at you with bullets a missiles, attack helicopters doing the same, fast cars, and a guy with a minigun. It was GTA in movie format.

[close]

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #32 on:** April 04, 2015, 06:39:35 PM »

Beezy · « **Reply #33 on:** April 04, 2015, 07:13:48 PM »

Quote from: Esch on April 03, 2015, 08:19:08 PM

This movie was awesome and better than the last one which I thought was a bit uninspired. The elephant in the room of how they were going to deal with Paul's death gave the movie an air of tension that raised the stakes imo.

The mountain scene is incredible and the best action scene in the series along with the race to the border in 4.

No and no.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #34 on:** April 04, 2015, 10:16:04 PM »

Fast & Furious 5-7 is the best movie trilogy of this millennia.

Kara · « **Reply #35 on:** April 05, 2015, 12:41:11 AM »

Quote from: Esch on April 04, 2015, 07:16:31 PM

Fast 6 was pretty forgettable. And spent a lot of time on an animesque wack amnesia romance revival. Cant even remember the Villain's face.

U used 2 b my romeo
Let it all go

StealthFan · « **Reply #36 on:** April 05, 2015, 12:55:18 AM »

Kara · « **Reply #37 on:** April 05, 2015, 01:18:26 AM »

No helping u on this. 4eva damned 2 not enjoy flix like bart simpson when he sold his soul.

Nibel · « **Reply #38 on:** April 05, 2015, 08:31:13 AM »

Recommended.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #39 on:** April 05, 2015, 12:15:57 PM »

$143 million on opening weekend, #9 all-time opening.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #40 on:** April 05, 2015, 02:53:32 PM »

$384 Million WW, and it hasn't even opened in China yet.

helios · « **Reply #41 on:** April 05, 2015, 05:25:59 PM »

Quote from: StealthFan on April 05, 2015, 12:55:18 AM

(Image removed from quote.)

That was the only obvious CGI I noticed in the movie and I was looking for it.

bork · « **Reply #42 on:** April 06, 2015, 03:44:38 PM »

This was fun, but seemed to feel a little too much like the last movie. FF5 is still the best of this "trilogy." Lucas Black looked entirely too old in his cameo.

This was very much a Dom-centric movie; I mean, it's obvious why, but even then Paul Walker's character just sort of felt shoe-horned in and just...there. The lack of dialogue was weird. I think they should have tried to have him in a much smaller role and then pop up at the end to help save the day or just to do the 'farewell' thing they ended up doing. This would have been a good jumping on point for a new character to take his place, especially since they were down a member (Han :'() already.

Vin Diesel has already said that Fast 8 (and I believe 9) is coming...will take place in New York and Kurt Russell's character will return in a larger role.

cool breeze · « **Reply #43 on:** April 06, 2015, 05:15:27 PM »

it's great that I see the trailers and think they gave away the craziest action scenes. but the movie is two steps more ridiculous than I thought.

my main complaint with this movie

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Rock isn't in it nearly enough. and despite aging a decade in 20 seconds, I wanted more Sean from Tokyo Drift. and more Kurt Russel. and bring back Han.

[close]

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #44 on:** April 06, 2015, 05:32:41 PM »

Quote from: cool breeze on April 06, 2015, 05:15:27 PM

spoiler (click to show/hide)
The Rock isn't in it nearly enough.
[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

He originally wasn't going to be in it at all, but with the delay and the rewrite after Walker's death they were able to get him in for a small role.

[close]

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #45 on:** April 06, 2015, 06:07:09 PM »

The audience broke out into polite applause at the end of the film, when "For Paul" showed up on screen.

This film really needs to win the Oscar for best picture, it was that good.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #46 on:** April 06, 2015, 06:14:02 PM »

"Good movies winning Best Picture."

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #47 on:** April 06, 2015, 06:18:38 PM »

Quote from: Shaka Khan on April 06, 2015, 06:14:02 PM

"Good movies winning Best Picture."

I know, it's popular and not an arthouse film, it's got an uphill struggle.

benjipwns · « **Reply #48 on:** April 06, 2015, 07:36:56 PM »

http://time.com/3772166/furious-7-box-office-diversity/

Quote

According to the Hollywood Reporter, 75% of the North American audience for Furious 7 was non-white. Hispanics—who attended the movie more than any other ethnic group, according to the Motion Picture Association of America—made up 37% of ticket buyers, followed by Caucasians (25%), African-Americans (24%) and Asians (10%).

Furious 7 does what Obama can't.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #49 on:** April 06, 2015, 07:49:05 PM »

It's also got a lot higher approval rate than Obama.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #50 on:** April 06, 2015, 07:52:43 PM »

Furious 7 has probably one of the most racially diverse casts of any major Hollywood movie that isn't specifically targeted to a non-white race.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #51 on:** April 13, 2015, 12:20:14 PM »

Furious 7 opened on Sunday in China and it made $68.6 million.

IN ONE DAY

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #52 on:** April 13, 2015, 12:43:04 PM »

Exporting democracy

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #53 on:** April 18, 2015, 10:08:07 AM »

$1 billion worldwide

team filler · « **Reply #54 on:** April 18, 2015, 10:48:34 AM »

didnt care for it

benjipwns · « **Reply #55 on:** April 18, 2015, 10:56:51 AM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on April 18, 2015, 10:08:07 AM

$1 billion worldwide

Quote

becoming the fastest film to gross over a billion dollars, doing so in 17 days

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #56 on:** April 18, 2015, 11:38:04 AM »

Thank you, based China. Communism does what Capitalism don't.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #57 on:** April 19, 2015, 12:29:01 PM »

$250 million in 8 days in China.

It's already the #7 grossing movie worldwide after just 17 days.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #58 on:** April 19, 2015, 12:34:16 PM »

Get wrekt, Frozen.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #59 on:** April 19, 2015, 12:36:23 PM »

It'll probably pass Iron Man 3 and Frozen within the next 7-10 days.

News:

Author Topic: Furious 7 Review Thread: Only God Can Judge Me Now (Read 12838 times)