Nebraska Woman Files Suit Against All Homosexuals

[benjipwns]

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/nebraska-woman-sues-all-homosexuals-liers-thieves-n354301

A Nebraska woman identifying herself as the "ambassador" for plaintiffs "God and His Son, Jesus Christ," is suing all homosexuals on Earth for breaking "religious and moral laws," according to court records filed Tuesday.

In the suit, entered into the docket as Driskell v. Homosexuals, Sylvia Ann Driskell, 66, of Auburn, Nebraska, asks in a seven-page, neatly handwritten petition (PDF) that U.S. District Judge John M. Gerrard decide once and for all whether homosexuality is or isn't a sin.

The suit doesn't cite any case law under which a judge could make such a determination. In fact, it cites no court cases at all, quoting Webster's Dictionary and numerous Bible verses, instead, to bolster Driskell's central contention, which is:

"That homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet."

Driskell writes, "I'm sixty six years old, an [sic] I never thought that I would see the day in which our Great Nation or Our Great State of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some peoples [sic] lewd behavior."

The suit was noticed by several gay activists and writers, including Dan Savage, the advice columnist, who said, "Man, I hope I get deposed!" and Steven Payne, a self-described "gay feller," who wrote in The Daily Kos:

"Brian (his husband) and I will be liquidating our assets in preparation for a certain loss. We anticipate the restitution ordered to this woman will take us down to our very last penny. In the meantime, our fear is so great we have ceased and desisted being homosexual."

Here's her handwritten petition: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/307282/150505-lawsuit-against-all-gays.pdf

[Brehvolution]

Evangelical looneyness is practically cliche'.

[Steve Contra]

She filed on behalf of GOD, AND HIS, SON, JESUS CHRIST which makes Benji's title misleading because surely they will win.  Mods, please junior Benji and change thread title.

[Joe Molotov]

You're on notice, Andrex.

[Nibel]

God probably hates people who like him the most

[Kara]

What a coincidence, my given name is also Bort Homosexuals.

[Brehvolution]

Caught red-handed being racist/bigot? Protect yourself. Call the stormfront hotline at 1-800-kkk-losr.

[studyguy]

Told that girl we ain't like that.
She don't stop calling tho.

[benjipwns]

Evangelical looneyness is practically cliche'.

I liked the handwritten touch.

[Tasty]

You're on notice, Andrex.

If we lose this I'm gonna have to turn a lot of tricks to pay the debt.



...

[Tasty]

God probably hates people who like him the most

If you're as stupid and hateful as the plaintiff surely is, it's probably a safe bet Jesus would want nothing to do with them if He was around today.

[Joe Molotov]

Evangelical looneyness is practically cliche'.

I liked the handwritten touch.

don't settle for mass-produced hate; handcrafted, artisanal bigotry is the best

[Yeti]

So I guess the next Bore meet up will be when we all have to appear in court for this?

[Brehvolution]

Evangelical looneyness is practically cliche'.

I liked the handwritten touch.

Another product of socialist education. 

[shidoshi]

My home state usually stays out of the craziness stuff news-wise, but I guess it could only avoid that for so long.

[naff]

3. Defendants Homosexuals: The Homosexuals say that its not a sin to be homosexual; an they have the right to marry; to be parents, and god doesn't care that their homosexuals; because he loves them

Fuck bitches that don't know how to use their or they're. I imagine the bunch sittin round bein like "get that shirlene up here, she gots the best fancy writin, and little mary's good at the speelin. we goin straight to the gubmint!"

[Mr. Gundam]

My home state usually stays out of the craziness stuff news-wise, but I guess it could only avoid that for so long.

My wife is from Omaha and said pretty much the same thing last night.