Author Topic: BIG NEWS! Bristol Palin is Pregnant! (Read 4038 times)

benjipwns · « **on:** June 25, 2015, 07:10:54 PM »

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/bristolpalin/2015/06/big-news/

Quote

(I’m announcing this news a lot sooner than I ever expected due to the constant trolls who have nothing better to talk about!!!)

I wanted you guys to be the first to know that I am pregnant.

Honestly, I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one.

At the end of the day there’s nothing I can’t do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace.

Life moves on no matter what. So no matter how you feel, you get up, get dressed, show up, and never give up.

When life gets tough, there is no other option but to get tougher.

I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you.

But please respect Tripp’s and my privacy during this time. I do not want any lectures and I do not want any sympathy.

My little family always has, and always will come first.

Tripp, this new baby, and I will all be fine, because God is merciful.

milchs evil twin · « **Reply #1 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:32:04 PM »

Wedding called off in May, pregnancy announced in June, no mention of daddy?

Bless you, benji, for supplying me with this nourishing thread.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #2 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:34:21 PM »

Abstinence Only

thisismyusername · « **Reply #3 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:35:03 PM »

Remind me again who is Tripp?

benjipwns · « **Reply #4 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:36:37 PM »

Quote from: thisismyusername on June 25, 2015, 07:35:03 PM

Remind me again who is Tripp?

Hawkins, founder of EA and 3DO.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #5 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:37:09 PM »

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/bristolpalin/2015/06/levi-and-lia-tell-how-they-went-from-fatherless-to-fatherfull/

You don't need a father when God is your daddy.

milchs evil twin · « **Reply #6 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:40:30 PM »

Quote from: thisismyusername on June 25, 2015, 07:35:03 PM

Remind me again who is Tripp?

Her other fatherless child.

Kara · « **Reply #7 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:44:50 PM »

#nodads

Proud to stand with Bristol.

thisismyusername · « **Reply #8 on:** June 25, 2015, 07:50:01 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on June 25, 2015, 07:44:50 PM

#nodads

Proud to stand with Bristol.

She's got Mac's vote.

thisismyusername · « **Reply #9 on:** June 25, 2015, 08:03:20 PM »

OMG. Fucking

at this:

Brehvolution · « **Reply #10 on:** June 25, 2015, 08:14:38 PM »

brob · « **Reply #11 on:** June 25, 2015, 08:59:23 PM »

She's an "Abstinence Only" darling?

What does that even mean? People are real hype about her not having sex?

thisismyusername · « **Reply #12 on:** June 25, 2015, 10:14:55 PM »

Quote from: brob on June 25, 2015, 08:59:23 PM

She's an "Abstinence Only" darling?

What does that even mean? People are real hype about her not having sex?

Yes. Exactly. There's people out there that think teaching "abstinence only" is adequate sex education. Bristol herself apparently subscribes to that notion. As you can see, that education didn't take.

Quote from: Dufus on June 25, 2015, 08:54:00 PM

What's up with people treating pregnancy like something good happened that's worth celebrating.

It's nothing but someone having jizzed in someone else's vagina.

I fail to see the congratulatory nature of it all.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #13 on:** June 25, 2015, 10:22:04 PM »

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #14 on:** June 25, 2015, 10:43:18 PM »

Make a living touting conservative family values, then get pregnant out of wedlock....twice brehs

thisismyusername · « **Reply #15 on:** June 25, 2015, 10:45:38 PM »

https://twitter.com/metroadlib/status/614224178531729408

https://twitter.com/alex3nglish/status/614224481146511360

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #16 on:** June 26, 2015, 12:34:34 AM »

Quote from: brob on June 25, 2015, 08:59:23 PM

She's an "Abstinence Only" darling?

What does that even mean? People are real hype about her not having sex?

Yeah, some people are super hyped about it.

Quote

In May 2010 it was reported that Palin had signed with the company Single Source Speakers, asking between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance. She was listed on the company's website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women's, youth, abstinence, and pro-life programs.[31][32]

brawndolicious · « **Reply #17 on:** June 26, 2015, 01:42:07 AM »

But why doesn't she have birth control? I can understand that nearly everybody who supports abstinence is a hypocrite, but if you get paid money to say that then why can't you at least get a deposit provera shot?

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #18 on:** June 26, 2015, 01:46:14 AM »

Hmm, maybe she's into fucking fat hobo looking dudes, I should give her a shout.

benjipwns · « **Reply #19 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:05:15 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on June 26, 2015, 01:42:07 AM

But why doesn't she have birth control? I can understand that nearly everybody who supports abstinence is a hypocrite, but if you get paid money to say that then why can't you at least get a deposit provera shot?

Think how much more she can charge now that she's had another struggle that she recovered from thanks to God and what she's relearned from His teachings of abstinence.

benjipwns · « **Reply #20 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:05:49 AM »

I just felt a minor pang of guilt there for a second.

Kara help.

Kara · « **Reply #21 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:25:21 AM »

Quote from: benjipwns on June 26, 2015, 03:05:49 AM

I just felt a minor pang of guilt there for a second.

Kara help.

I got a new prescription at the chemist today. In Commiefornia they have to offer you a consult with a pharmacist for all new medications which I always take advantage of because I like to waste people's time. Anyway, when I go over to the pharmacist's counter for my mandated-by-the-state consult there's an elderly person arguing with the pharmacist about their DIABEETUS testing machine... they one they "needed" was no longer being manufactured or something and they insisted that its replacement model didn't work effectively. They refused to understand that (1) they didn't have the machine in stock because it wasn't being manufactured at present and (2) that the pharmacist would have to get approval to track it down through an alternate supply channel. (Shortages SMH, your mode of production is broke as fuck capitalists.) This went on, and on, and on, until Wilford Brimley became exhausted and stormed off, loudly calling the pharmacist an idiot under their breath. (Rude.)

When I got to the counter I noticed that Wilford Brimley had left their eyeglasses at the counter. Now normally I'd put on my best Eddie Haskell routine and return the spectacles, but Willy-boy had wasted my fucking time and had the temerity to call someone an idiot when they themselves have old-age DIABEETUS, so I was like

sucks to be you and left 'em there. Didn't even ask the pharmacist to hold 'em or nothin'. I am justice. I am judgment. I am punishment.

benjipwns · « **Reply #22 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:33:43 AM »

I want to point out that the pang of guilt was for what I think was dead-eyeing how this will go down regarding the abstinence scam.

One thing I found amusing from my limited exposure to it (mainly some pamphlets I picked up outside an event to distribute to recently married people I know) is that because it's also anti-abortion (duh) it talks a lot about how wonderful babies are.

That's when I moved it from the stupid/misguided category to scam territory.

benjipwns · « **Reply #23 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:35:28 AM »

Also, people get pissed at pharmacists like I never believed until I started visiting them regularly. Yeah, you got a $20 co-pay on your $600 worth of free medication from Medicare, no the pharmacist can't "write it off" for you. Yes, you have to pay it "this time" and not "next time" when you'll have to pay it again.

Most importantly, no, the pharmacist cannot write you a prescription and then fill it. (I've seen this twice. TWICE!)

Kara · « **Reply #24 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:40:44 AM »

In Catholic school we had a sex-ed assembly every year and one year we had a strong, independent woman who don't need no man (mhmmmm) who sloganed abstinence-only in a way that still makes me SMH. "No ringie, no dinghy." I don't think she had much experience with seaman because that rhyme doesn't make a damn lick of sense. This is what happens when you're an island, you think idiotic things aren't idiotic. *points to my posting history*

She promised to come back next year and tell us about how pornography was like The Matrix of Wachowski siblings and Philosophy 101 class essay topic fame but she never did. No one ever keeps their promises to me.

benjipwns · « **Reply #25 on:** June 26, 2015, 04:01:52 AM »

I wonder if she's re-framed that presentation since the transition of the one sibling.

toku · « **Reply #26 on:** June 26, 2015, 04:09:50 AM »

maybe she's dead

Kara · « **Reply #27 on:** June 26, 2015, 04:13:22 AM »

Quote from: toku on June 26, 2015, 04:09:50 AM

maybe she's dead

but did she die doing what she loved?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #28 on:** June 26, 2015, 09:18:07 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on June 26, 2015, 01:42:07 AM

But why doesn't she have birth control? I can understand that nearly everybody who supports abstinence is a hypocrite, but if you get paid money to say that then why can't you at least get a deposit provera shot?

Because birth control is pretty much the same thing as abortion, which is to say that it's a mortal sin. Apparently not as much of a sin as getting knocked up multiple times outside of marriage, but as long as you do your due penance [nine months of carrying your sin-baby], I guess it all works out.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #29 on:** June 26, 2015, 09:44:43 AM »

I don't know how Todd Palin, snowmobile champion, can stand living with all those losers. The good news is that Bristol is still to poster child for abstinence only education. Just not the way she intended.

demi · « **Reply #30 on:** June 26, 2015, 09:56:31 AM »

To be the one to nut up in that Abstinence coot, committing the ultimate sin, tasting the forbidden fruit

brob · « **Reply #31 on:** June 26, 2015, 11:13:32 AM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov on June 26, 2015, 12:34:34 AM

Quote from: brob on June 25, 2015, 08:59:23 PM
She's an "Abstinence Only" darling?

What does that even mean? People are real hype about her not having sex?

Yeah, some people are super hyped about it.

Quote
In May 2010 it was reported that Palin had signed with the company Single Source Speakers, asking between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance. She was listed on the company's website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women's, youth, abstinence, and pro-life programs.[31][32]

Well shit, is she's getting paid simply for not dumping cum in her pussy it's real disappointing to see her crack like this. If she was just a lil bit crafty she'd find a way to turn that money into some good ol' non-impregnating sex. These millennials have no sense of entrepreneurship smh

Rman · « **Reply #32 on:** June 26, 2015, 12:01:28 PM »

Condoms, BC pills, Morning After Pills, and yes abortion.

Abortion isn't fun, but good luck finding a dude to settle down with when you have two kids from two different guys.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #33 on:** June 26, 2015, 12:11:13 PM »

The morning after pill has a chance of causing an abortion which is probably worse. A child out of wedlock is just your penance for a few seconds of pleasure.

In western culture, new marriages often start with a new baby. I don't know if that's a Christian thing.

team filler · « **Reply #34 on:** June 26, 2015, 12:16:54 PM »

she needs to start dating guys that love anal

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #35 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:05:41 PM »

Quote from: Rman on June 26, 2015, 12:01:28 PM

Condoms, BC pills, Morning After Pills, and yes abortion.

Abortion isn't fun, but good luck finding a dude to settle down with when you have two kids from two different guys.

She could find her self a nice girl to marry.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #36 on:** June 26, 2015, 03:59:25 PM »

To be fair to Bristol, she had no knowledge years ago just how great forbidden sex can be. It's like adding MDMA-laced whipped cream to a sundae.

News:

Author Topic: BIG NEWS! Bristol Palin is Pregnant! (Read 4038 times)