Author Topic: Can You Swim? (Read 10898 times)

Steve Contra · « **on:** July 08, 2015, 01:56:03 PM »

There was talk in another thread about swimming, and over the weekend I learned that 4 of my friends can't swim (WTF) so I'm putting this shit to a vote. (No judgment zone btw although I'll be judging the fuck out of you if you can't)

Himu · « **Reply #1 on:** July 08, 2015, 01:57:50 PM »

YES. It was my favorite thing as a kid!

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #2 on:** July 08, 2015, 01:58:07 PM »

Yeah, I love swimming. Too bad I'm fat and have body image issues. $:-\$

king of the internet · « **Reply #3 on:** July 08, 2015, 01:58:49 PM »

Yes. And I'm not saving any of you.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #4 on:** July 08, 2015, 01:59:38 PM »

Not swim well, but I can avoid drowning.

studyguy · « **Reply #5 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:04:19 PM »

I actually learned to swim in a huge irrigation run off ditch when I was a kid swimming with my cousins at a ranch my grandparents worked.
It was only later down the road that I realized we swam in nothing but pesticides.

I can swim.

Himu · « **Reply #6 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:05:40 PM »

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 02:04:19 PM

I actually learned to swim in a huge irrigation run off ditch when I was a kid swimming with my cousins at a ranch my grandparents worked.
It was only later down the road that I realized we swam in nothing but pesticides.

I can swim.

.................

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #7 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:05:43 PM »

As anyone raised in Holland I have 3 swimming certificates.

This includes swimmimg in clothes and basic rescue.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #8 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:05:46 PM »

I learned to swim at a late age (15 or so IIRC) and I could swim pretty well for a few years, but as I haven't swum in like 15 years or so I doubt I could anymore.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #9 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:07:31 PM »

I can swim and was on a swim team in middle school.

studyguy · « **Reply #10 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:09:22 PM »

Quote from: Queen of Ice on July 08, 2015, 02:05:40 PM

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 02:04:19 PM
I actually learned to swim in a huge irrigation run off ditch when I was a kid swimming with my cousins at a ranch my grandparents worked.
It was only later down the road that I realized we swam in nothing but pesticides.

I can swim.

.................

Statistically I probably had a better chance of dying to drowning than cancer up to a certain age.
We'll see how it pans out. Like I said, least I can swim

Tasty · « **Reply #11 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:21:09 PM »

It's absolutely important to learn how to swim but it's also important to recognize when someone is drowning.

Quote

Of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening.

The article is child-focused but this applies to adults as well. Drowning doesn't look like it does in TV shows and movies.

Try to find the person in these videos drowning before the lifeguard blows their whistle:

Brehvolution · « **Reply #12 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:21:36 PM »

I don't remember ever not knowing how to swim.

Himu · « **Reply #13 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:23:21 PM »

Quote from: The Walrus on July 08, 2015, 02:17:08 PM

Quote from: Queen of Ice on July 08, 2015, 01:57:50 PM
YES. It was my favorite thing as a kid!

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on July 08, 2015, 02:07:31 PM
I can swim and was on a swim team in middle school.

(Image removed from quote.)

I'm a middle class black. I was raised in the burbs, bb. It's the kids that lived in cities that don't know how to swim usually, because there's not that many swimming centers available to them. The school I went to day care with had trips to teach us how to swim at the local public pool, which is like 5 minutes away. I learned at the tender age of 4 back in the 80's. My parents had no obligation to not let me learn how to swim when everyone else was learning. My mom recorded me swimming on VHS. I haven't swam in five years. I am going to buy a bikini later tonight.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #14 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:27:50 PM »

Quote from: Tasty Meat on July 08, 2015, 02:21:09 PM

It's absolutely important to learn how to swim but it's also important to recognize when someone is drowning.

Quote
Of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening.

The article is child-focused but this applies to adults as well. Drowning doesn't look like it does in TV shows and movies.

Try to find the person in these videos drowning before the lifeguard blows their whistle:

I learned about that slow weird flapping motion people do when they're drowning a long time ago. Not sure I could spot it in real life though.

Himu · « **Reply #15 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:28:23 PM »

SHOW HIM

Of course my dad is so tall that he didn't need to swim when we went to pools at hotels.

Kara · « **Reply #16 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:30:13 PM »

The commune has a pool. Doing laps in it is one of the place's few redeeming qualities.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

When you get out you have to avoid stepping on menthol cigarette butts.

[close]

Himu · « **Reply #17 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:32:05 PM »

Quote from: Tasty Meat on July 08, 2015, 02:21:09 PM

It's absolutely important to learn how to swim but it's also important to recognize when someone is drowning.

Quote
Of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening.

The article is child-focused but this applies to adults as well. Drowning doesn't look like it does in TV shows and movies.

Try to find the person in these videos drowning before the lifeguard blows their whistle:

One time we went to a water park with the school band (god I miss band

) and I ate dippin dots for a snack. Got in the wave pool and uhhhhh, I got a leg cramp. That thing is scary if you're incapacitated and can't swim at the time.

studyguy · « **Reply #18 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:32:15 PM »

I probably should have joined swim teams back as a kid.
I probably would have been dope at it.

Swam a ton out in the ocean over in Mexico when on vacation.
It's so fucking nice just free swimming in the deep out there.

I personally find it difficult to not float.
Like I've gotten cramps out in the ocean and shit and you can manage fine with little movement so long as you're not panicked.
I can completely understand how dudes straight up drown tho, it's way too easy to take a mouth full of water and lose it in waves.

Tasty · « **Reply #19 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:33:01 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on July 08, 2015, 02:30:13 PM

The commune has a pool. Doing laps in it is one of the place's few redeeming qualities.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
When you get out you have to avoid stepping on menthol cigarette butts.
[close]

Is it one of those cool hippie communes with nude swimming?

Himu · « **Reply #20 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:33:19 PM »

So PD......

did you shave your legs?

demi · « **Reply #21 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:34:48 PM »

Quote from: Human Snorenado on July 08, 2015, 01:58:07 PM

Yeah, I love swimming. Too bad I'm fat and have body image issues. $:-\$

Insecurities

Purrp Skirrp · « **Reply #22 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:38:22 PM »

Yeah, started lifeguarding when I was 16 and did it every summer for years. Good job with cool coworkers I'm still friends with.

It was kind of stressful though, despite lifeguards looking like they're just chilling 98% of the time

Another pool nearby had a kid drown in front of everyone unnoticed, like Andrex pointed out it's common.

I was fortunate because my oldest sister was a lifeguard so besides nepotism getting me my first job, she pushed for me to take swimming lessons growing up.

My family would also go to Maine a lot as a vacation spot so I was always swimming in murky ass lakes, cold ass oceans, etc.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #23 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:41:56 PM »

I can stay afloat, but I wouldn't call myself a strong swimmer. Sometimes when I'm out on Lake Erie, I wonder if I had a boating accident if I could actually swim back to shore.

I made sure my kids had proper swim lessons when they were 4. I wished that I did.

Kara · « **Reply #24 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:51:40 PM »

Quote from: Tasty Meat on July 08, 2015, 02:33:01 PM

Quote from: Vularai on July 08, 2015, 02:30:13 PM
The commune has a pool. Doing laps in it is one of the place's few redeeming qualities.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
When you get out you have to avoid stepping on menthol cigarette butts.
[close]

Is it one of those cool hippie communes with nude swimming?

Only one of us is hot (and he wears a trilby indoors

) so I really hope not. (I don't use it when anyone is around.)

Tasty · « **Reply #25 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:53:45 PM »

I can have a little trouble treading water after a few minutes but if I need to get somewhere I can easily do so. I'm also fine just laying on my back.

Rufus · « **Reply #26 on:** July 08, 2015, 02:57:09 PM »

I would drown on account of being way the fuck out of shape, but I can swim, yes.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #27 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:03:04 PM »

We need to attract more intercity posters to this forum.

Rufus · « **Reply #28 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:09:36 PM »

Quote from: Esch on July 08, 2015, 02:59:25 PM

Quote from: Rufus on July 08, 2015, 02:57:09 PM
I would drown on account of being way the fuck out of shape, but I can swim, yes.

well thats where you roll onto your back and let the fat buoy you

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I used to do that when i was a kid and got tired while swimming
[close]

Skinny fat counts too, right?

Either way, that only works in pools and small lakes, the ocean would carry me away to my demise. T_T

Reb · « **Reply #29 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:10:46 PM »

Yes, I live below sea level.

studyguy · « **Reply #30 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:12:20 PM »

I can float but I'm not dumb enough to think I can swim beyond a certain distance.
Swimming against currents and shit in the open or over long stretches even taking it real easy is hard as fuck.

cool breeze · « **Reply #31 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:18:17 PM »

yeah but not well. I had a long stretch where I couldn't/wouldn't swim in deep water because of some near drowning instances, panic and all that, even antsy on boats. after learning to calm down I can swim fine.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #32 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:28:48 PM »

Bore making me proud

king of the internet · « **Reply #33 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:38:35 PM »

There's gotta be at least one person on here that can't. Show yourself.

studyguy · « **Reply #34 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:40:00 PM »

Better question is if all of Bore was thrown in the ocean, who would drown first, last?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Who would actively drown another poster too cause some of yall...

[close]

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #35 on:** July 08, 2015, 03:53:03 PM »

yes, it is an essential hillcac skill

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #36 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:04:49 PM »

Quote from: king of the internet on July 08, 2015, 03:38:35 PM

There's gotta be at least one person on here that can't. Show yourself.

My money is on AiA

brawndolicious · « **Reply #37 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:18:09 PM »

When I was 4 at a public pool, everybody else was swimming so I jumped in and proceeded to slowly sink until a friends dad jumped in with his clothes on and pulled me out. Then I went back in with water wings. It wasnt until I was like 9 that I learned how to swim.

I can't believe there's no non-swimmers here.

Quote from: Premium Lager on July 08, 2015, 02:05:43 PM

As anyone raised in Holland I have 3 swimming certificates.

This includes swimmimg in clothes and basic rescue.

That is really weird, are floods common there?

Tasty · « **Reply #38 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:19:26 PM »

Euro gives swimming the credit it deserves and many Euro nations have swimming integrated into physical education from early grades all the way up to primary schools.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #39 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:22:28 PM »

Including swimming with clothes? Is that a good workout?

studyguy · « **Reply #40 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:26:19 PM »

Swimming fully clothed sounds like a good way to work on your drowning skills

king of the internet · « **Reply #41 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:37:32 PM »

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 03:40:00 PM

Better question is if all of Bore was thrown in the ocean, who would drown first, last?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Who would actively drown another poster too cause some of yall...

[close]

I would build a raft out of your bodies

Rufus · « **Reply #42 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:38:34 PM »

Drowning is a lousy way to go though.

studyguy · « **Reply #43 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:41:19 PM »

Quote from: Rufus on July 08, 2015, 04:38:34 PM

Drowning is a lousy way to go though.

I mean you could be drowning in money, women, etc.
I can think of worse ways to go out.

Tasty · « **Reply #44 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:42:10 PM »

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 04:41:19 PM

Quote from: Rufus on July 08, 2015, 04:38:34 PM
Drowning is a lousy way to go though.

I mean you could be drowning in money, women, etc.
I can think of worse ways to go out.

studyguy · « **Reply #45 on:** July 08, 2015, 04:49:18 PM »

Quote from: Tasty Meat on July 08, 2015, 04:42:10 PM

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 04:41:19 PM
Quote from: Rufus on July 08, 2015, 04:38:34 PM
Drowning is a lousy way to go though.

I mean you could be drowning in money, women, etc.
I can think of worse ways to go out.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll never drown in pussy

[close]

Purrp Skirrp · « **Reply #46 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:00:09 PM »

Even though I got certified, I'm not going to say that my instructor was the most discerning guy.

He was this nice old guy who let people retake written and in-water tests

This one girl didn't know how to go from wading to a surface dive, yet he later passed her

Jeopardizing future swimming patrons' lives by ignoring Red Cross guidelines

Kara · « **Reply #47 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:20:17 PM »

Quote from: Esch on July 08, 2015, 04:36:07 PM

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 03:40:00 PM
Better question is if all of Bore was thrown in the ocean, who would drown first, last?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Who would actively drown another poster too cause some of yall...

[close]

pretty much half of the bore would be dead within the first minute because they want to be dead anyway

Drowning isn't in the plan. I'm not going to save anything for the swim back.

(Because swimming back would just put me back in the middle of the ocean.

)

Huff · « **Reply #48 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:39:59 PM »

Currently working on my butterfly since it's a badass stroke

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #49 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:46:15 PM »

Andrex is actually inspiring me to get into swimming laps if I can find a place close enough to where I'm gonna move

Steve Contra · « **Reply #50 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:51:02 PM »

We got 2 nos. Show yourselves, losers

toku · « **Reply #51 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:51:50 PM »

Love to swim

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #52 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:53:08 PM »

Quote from: The Walrus on July 08, 2015, 02:17:08 PM

Quote from: Queen of Ice on July 08, 2015, 01:57:50 PM
YES. It was my favorite thing as a kid!

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on July 08, 2015, 02:07:31 PM
I can swim and was on a swim team in middle school.

(Image removed from quote.)

Kara · « **Reply #53 on:** July 08, 2015, 05:55:10 PM »

Quote from: Huff on July 08, 2015, 05:39:59 PM

Currently working on my butterfly since it's a badass stroke

The best stroke. (After a 4 stroke, no Drinky Crow.)

thisismyusername · « **Reply #54 on:** July 08, 2015, 06:18:24 PM »

I can swim, but I don't think I've swimmed in a pool in like... a decade.

Also: https://twitter.com/kwmurphy/status/617826812400418816

^^^^Major reason why.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #55 on:** July 08, 2015, 06:22:15 PM »

Quote from: demi on July 08, 2015, 02:34:48 PM

Quote from: Human Snorenado on July 08, 2015, 01:58:07 PM
Yeah, I love swimming. Too bad I'm fat and have body image issues. $:-\$

Insecurities

Going to a lake house this weekend, how much will you pay for shirtless pix

chronovore · « **Reply #56 on:** July 08, 2015, 06:51:50 PM »

Quote from: Premium Lager on July 08, 2015, 02:05:43 PM

As anyone raised in Holland I have 3 swimming certificates.

This includes swimmimg in clothes and basic rescue.

Ah. You're a lifeguard; no wonder you were always swimming in so much sex.

Quote from: studyguy on July 08, 2015, 02:04:19 PM

I actually learned to swim in a huge irrigation run off ditch when I was a kid swimming with my cousins at a ranch my grandparents worked.
It was only later down the road that I realized we swam in nothing but pesticides.

I can swim.

And on the upside bugs still are entirely uninterested in you, right?

dkdk · « **Reply #57 on:** July 08, 2015, 06:53:56 PM »

hell nah i'm a land animal.

skinny dipping w/ bitches does make it tempting to learn though but i like living.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #58 on:** July 08, 2015, 07:08:17 PM »

I mean, I can tread water and do a pathetic crawl stroke, but that's about it. Can't float without moving my limbs around

brawndolicious · « **Reply #59 on:** July 08, 2015, 07:55:00 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on July 08, 2015, 05:55:10 PM

Quote from: Huff on July 08, 2015, 05:39:59 PM
Currently working on my butterfly since it's a badass stroke

The best stroke. (After a 4 stroke, no Drinky Crow.)

It takes grit to do all that suck, squeeze, bang, and blow.

News:

Poll

It's 2015, Head is Head, but can you swim?

Author Topic: Can You Swim? (Read 10898 times)