Author Topic: Friday Bore - Post the Stupidest Shit You Heard All Week (Read 3311 times)

Steve Contra · « **on:** July 24, 2015, 01:42:37 PM »

I saw a mother on Facebook questioning the use of sunscreen on her children because of "all those chemicals"

studyguy · « **Reply #1 on:** July 24, 2015, 06:47:25 PM »

I need you to stay for like 20 minutes after to wait for this client.

Yea, nah. I leave at 4 on the dot on Fridays

benjipwns · « **Reply #2 on:** July 25, 2015, 02:22:21 AM »

"Okay lady I get that you can't have more than $10 in library fees alright, but I just want to check these things out for my kids alright?"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

"I don't have time for this." *pushes dvds towards the desk girl*

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*five minutes later*

"Uh hi, I know I've got some fines but can you still check things out?" "If they're over $10 then no, sorry" "I've never had the money on me to do that and I've only got one thing here can I just get you next time?"

*meanwhile at the help desk*

"I need to use a computer" "Well, they're all taken right now, though the ones in the kids section [points ten feet away to empty row in kids section] are the same if you login with an adult account" "I don't want to sit in any kids section, I'll wait!" *stomps off*

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public library fuckery

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Kara · « **Reply #3 on:** July 25, 2015, 02:32:04 AM »

I miss gawking at effing lamestreamers / hiding all the books authored by Leon Trotsky at the public library. :'(

My phone thought I wanted to talk about Leon Panetta lol. There goes my cover as a KGB illegal.

benjipwns · « **Reply #4 on:** July 25, 2015, 03:02:12 AM »

I've been reprimanded at for reshelving books before.

Like the dewey decimal system is some secret code, you've got signs about it everywhere lady!

And that goes double for you dopes at university libraries, you don't even understand the LoC so stop complaining when I put the books back where they actually go instead of on the cart so you can put them in the wrong place again!

Ugh, other human beings existing!

benjipwns · « **Reply #5 on:** July 25, 2015, 03:04:56 AM »

I won't name names because everyone deserves a second chance, but I've been to a university library that created a hybrid dewey decimal/LoC system in which they organized books at a top level by the former and then within it by the latter.

I believe I would have won in court had I burned it down.

king of the internet · « **Reply #6 on:** July 25, 2015, 03:16:13 AM »

We're all in this together. Trying to make sense of this confusing and fucked up world.

Mupepe · « **Reply #7 on:** July 25, 2015, 09:41:31 AM »

"I'm not an organ donor because like, when Jesus comes back don't we take our physical bodies to heaven and so we wouldn't have our organs?"

benjipwns · « **Reply #8 on:** July 25, 2015, 09:44:45 AM »

Man it would suck to be them if they died before the Rapture.

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #9 on:** July 25, 2015, 10:20:08 AM »

I attended a demonstration from some vendors. The product was shit, the presenters were ill prepared for questions but they compensated for this by kissing ass constantly. I hate it when people try to kiss my ass and it just made them look even more like frauds. It was about 45 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. I'm glad I'm not in sales. I think I'd eat hot lead before working in sales.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #10 on:** July 25, 2015, 12:57:02 PM »

not really stupid but i had a buyer get all pissy at me yesterday because I wasn't sure, within the three seconds of our phone conversation up to that point, if I could schedule a notary signing for her that afternoon.

"WELL IF YOU WANT ME TO SIGN AND CLOSE ON THE HOUSE TODAY YOULL FIGURE IT OUT!"

uh lady, i don't really give a fuck if you buy your shitty house today or four days from now. you can stick the disclosures in your ass for all i care. we want you to buy asap because you're annoying and tired from hearing from you

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #11 on:** July 25, 2015, 12:58:58 PM »

At Quakecon, I saw a drunk/high person arguing about Half-Life 3 with a wall.

benjipwns · « **Reply #12 on:** July 25, 2015, 01:17:06 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on July 25, 2015, 12:58:58 PM

At Quakecon, I saw a drunk/high person arguing about Half-Life 3 with a wall.

Another Valve ARG.

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Shadow Mod · « **Reply #13 on:** July 25, 2015, 01:51:28 PM »

That feel when you haven't "heard" any stupid shit only seen it posted on the internet and wonder why you even bother sometimes.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #14 on:** July 25, 2015, 02:28:18 PM »

i have devout christian neighbors. every day, a new stupid justification for acting stupid.

and i work for a corporate monolith. i could spend my hours in this thread cutting-and-pasting from outlook.

Kara · « **Reply #15 on:** July 25, 2015, 04:21:49 PM »

The mechanic in the bike shop insisted on explaining in jargon why a repair job cost so much to a customer so unfamiliar with the machinery that they did significant damage to their bike from cross chaining. (Like driving your car in first gear for too long.) Naturally the customer didn't understand and the mechanic doubled down on the jargon until the customer got flustered and stormed off.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #16 on:** July 25, 2015, 04:25:21 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on July 25, 2015, 04:21:49 PM

The mechanic in the bike shop insisted on explaining in jargon why a repair job cost so much to a customer so unfamiliar with the machinery that they did significant damage to their bike from cross chaining. (Like driving your car in first gear for too long.) Naturally the customer didn't understand and the mechanic doubled down on the jargon until the customer got flustered and stormed off.

Times when analogies work best.

Kara · « **Reply #17 on:** July 25, 2015, 05:52:49 PM »

LBS are club houses and the use of analogies might let more people participate.

chronovore · « **Reply #18 on:** August 06, 2015, 07:02:04 PM »

Someone speculated that wind was caused by the earth's rotation. I almost had to break out a chalkboard.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #19 on:** August 06, 2015, 07:56:24 PM »

That there are big tittied bitches on Mars taking pictures of the rover

chronovore · « **Reply #20 on:** August 06, 2015, 08:05:22 PM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on August 06, 2015, 07:56:24 PM

That there are big tittied bitches on Mars taking pictures of the rover

I want to live in that guy's world.

tiesto · « **Reply #21 on:** August 06, 2015, 09:11:06 PM »

I would but I can't seem to get on the Republican debate live stream.

VomKriege · « **Reply #22 on:** August 06, 2015, 11:26:03 PM »

Quote from: Vularai on July 25, 2015, 04:21:49 PM

The mechanic in the bike shop insisted on explaining in jargon why a repair job cost so much to a customer so unfamiliar with the machinery that they did significant damage to their bike from cross chaining. (Like driving your car in first gear for too long.) Naturally the customer didn't understand and the mechanic doubled down on the jargon until the customer got flustered and stormed off.

"Well, there's some craftsmanship and manhours involved in correcting your fuck up ? Also some margin because we're not a charity."
I guess not. Would be more to the point though.

Kara · « **Reply #23 on:** August 06, 2015, 11:31:42 PM »

In English, if you find yourself using the word "derailleur," odds are very high that you've lost whomever you're speaking too as soon as you've said the word.

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I say derailleur how it's said in French and lose people who know what derailleurs are.

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Samson Manhug · « **Reply #24 on:** August 07, 2015, 02:24:38 PM »

What do you want them to call it? That's its name.

Kara · « **Reply #25 on:** August 07, 2015, 02:29:36 PM »

Mech is also an accepted term, albeit equally jargon.

"This part here that moves the chain" is probably what I would have opted for.

chronovore · « **Reply #26 on:** August 08, 2015, 04:23:05 AM »

Is it safe to guess that Karakand is calling it by actual French pronunciation, rather than "de-ray-luhr"?

Kara · « **Reply #27 on:** August 08, 2015, 10:00:03 AM »

Yes.

chronovore · « **Reply #28 on:** August 09, 2015, 03:20:42 AM »

Quote from: Vularai on August 08, 2015, 10:00:03 AM

Yes.

T234 · « **Reply #29 on:** August 09, 2015, 05:12:15 PM »

I saw a guy trade a TABERNACLE AT PENDRELL VALE (ask Triumph or Karakas 13-9 about that one) for his entire U/B Reanimator deck, complete with 3 Underground Seas, set of Forces, set of Judge Promo Ponders, etc.

1 $800 card for a $1200+ deck. Gretzky trade total.

Later on that night, that guy said, "I made this trade, just like my President Trump woulda made this trade."

Kara · « **Reply #30 on:** August 09, 2015, 05:16:31 PM »

I like that you called me a Magic card.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #31 on:** August 09, 2015, 05:23:58 PM »

Lotta teachers and administrators outchea trying to jutify their vocal conversative politics in the face of education cuts.

News:

Author Topic: Friday Bore - Post the Stupidest Shit You Heard All Week (Read 3311 times)