Author Topic: Is EVEREST the CACest movie of the year? (Read 4580 times)

bluemax · « **on:** September 10, 2015, 02:00:11 AM »

The first time I saw a commercial for it with the white guy talking about why he's climbing a mountain that no one should ever fucking climb it struck me as something that I felt you guys would term "cac".

Here is the trailer:

"I have kids, they see a regular guy can follow an impossible dream maybe they'll do the same."

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK.

Kara · « **Reply #1 on:** September 10, 2015, 02:15:44 AM »

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #2 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:16:30 AM »

Impossible dream

Hire 30 sherpa's

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #3 on:** September 10, 2015, 08:52:01 AM »

The CACest movie ever for the CACest activity ever.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #4 on:** September 10, 2015, 10:27:11 AM »

Kara · « **Reply #5 on:** September 10, 2015, 10:45:14 AM »

As someone who is a self-conscious cacdemon, I really cannot convey the totality of the embarrassment my outdoorsy brethren make me feel to my #DSF. Like I have to go to an REI for bike servicing because I'm too self-conscious to let one bike shop know the full extent of the incidental repairs I incur with my bad riding and the parking lot might as well be a Subaru dealership's lot. I KNOW Y'ALL AREN'T BOXER ENGINE AFICIONADOS.

brob · « **Reply #6 on:** September 10, 2015, 11:26:03 AM »

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/death-and-anger-on-everest

king of the internet · « **Reply #7 on:** September 10, 2015, 03:37:39 PM »

Why not just fly a helicopter to the top?

Seems like a lot of work for nothing.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #8 on:** September 10, 2015, 03:38:58 PM »

Pretty sure you actually can't do that with a helicopter. Air is too thin to support it.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #9 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:04:35 PM »

Didn't Bear Grylls fly over it in a paramotor or something?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:43:07 PM »

I'm trying to think, if we had to cast this film with Bore cacs, who would make the cut. Let's assume there are six main characters. I'll nominate two.

1. Van Cruncheon

Role: lead
Cactemptations: scooters, hookahs, conference meetings

2. Kara

Role: first minority to die
Cactemptations: bicycling, communism, gin

Steve Contra · « **Reply #11 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:48:22 PM »

Myself because I'm pretty fucking white.

Tiesto, because he's pretty fucking white.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #12 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:48:33 PM »

Pretty sure Kara is jewish, not white.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #13 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:49:06 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on September 10, 2015, 05:48:33 PM

Pretty sure Kara is jewish, not white.

He's passing, though.

Kara · « **Reply #14 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:52:40 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on September 10, 2015, 05:48:33 PM

Pretty sure Kara is jewish, not white.

Covered under first minority to die.

Biracialism is so demonic.

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #15 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:53:10 PM »

GZA used mountain climbing as an example of peak cacness like 25 years ago. Genius and a prophet!

Fun fact: Recently learned during based Obamas rechristening of Denali that Everest is the highest mountain in the world, but not actually the highest. #themoreyouknow

Steve Contra · « **Reply #16 on:** September 10, 2015, 05:54:50 PM »

Who get's out last alive in the is Cac horror movie? Who is the whitest borean? How about the son of a dentist who went to onto become an accountant?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17 on:** September 10, 2015, 06:02:12 PM »

Quote from: Kara on September 10, 2015, 05:52:40 PM

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on September 10, 2015, 05:48:33 PM
Pretty sure Kara is jewish, not white.

Covered under first minority to die.

Biracialism is so demonic.

I don't believe in biracialism. I think its just something people do in college for attention before they find the right man.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #18 on:** September 10, 2015, 06:05:14 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on September 10, 2015, 05:54:50 PM

Who get's out last alive in the is Cac horror movie? Who is the whitest borean? How about the son of a dentist who went to onto become an accountant?

He could be the nerdy black sidekick that deals with Sherpas thinking he's the butler.

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #19 on:** September 10, 2015, 06:51:02 PM »

I remember being offended once because I used a few knots and someone thought it was because I mountain climbed (I grew up around water at our family cottage and know how to sail shittily)

How much is mountain climbing peak CAC when you think sailing in comparison makes you a real brother?

Tasty · « **Reply #20 on:** September 10, 2015, 07:23:26 PM »

The Weird Al song "White and Nerdy" was written about me.

Plus I'm openly* homosexual which seems mildly cac-exclusive in the US right now.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

*Not IRL

[close]

octopushover · « **Reply #21 on:** September 10, 2015, 08:11:00 PM »

mountaineering is second to sailing as the cacest sport ever because while you're supported by a legion of minorities who don't care whether you live or die, at least it requires physical conditioning unlike sitting in a boat

toku · « **Reply #22 on:** September 10, 2015, 08:42:51 PM »

saying the word "mountaineering" out loud actually whitens your teeth as well

Samson Manhug · « **Reply #23 on:** September 10, 2015, 09:02:09 PM »

People on The Bore who might attempt to climb Everest ranked in order of most likely to least likely:

Kara

Pros: Really into cardio and self-punishment (a redundancy, I know.) Has a strong interest in foreign languages and travel. Hates himself. Financially able to undertake a two month long vacation.
Cons: Has he ever done anything he really wanted to? Not a goy.

Premium Lager

Pros: Strong sense of wanderlust. Skilled traveler. His past experiences of overland travel on bicycle show a willingness to suffer for beauty.
Cons: Married, has kids, poor. His Everest days might be over unless he wins the lottery or spends his kid's college savings (do Europeans do this?) on an Everest expedition mid-life crisis.

Boogie

Pros: Fitnessbore veteran. You can't ascend the planet's tallest mountain without being fit, it doesn't matter how many Sherpas you pay to carry you. Unmarried so nothing to live for. Successful career as Canadian government employee will afford him plenty of paid time off.
Cons: His idea of a good time is telling people to stop smoking weed at wedding receptions. Might not have enough joie de vivre for this sort of thing.

CatsCatsCats

Pros: Portland, Oregon CAC. His tribe sits around and talks about climbing Everest constantly.
Cons: Portland, Oregon CAC. His tribe sits around and talks about climbing Everest constantly.

BrandNew

Pros: Climbing Everest is the ultimate cactivity and BrandNew is the caciest of our many Borecacs. White, middle class millenial in every way imaginable: Apple stan, grew up in the suburbs, moved to the city to become a hipster, sought a life as a knowledge worker in an artistic industry.
Cons: Not much for strenuous activity outside of a pickup game of basketball. Probably has an eating disorder.

Steva Contra (only because his wife made him)

Pros: Steve Contra is what Borecacs want to be when they grow up. Successful career in an exclusively CAC industry: wine importing. Likely to have the finances for such a trip.
Cons: No detectable interest in physical challenges. His wife is the ultrarunner, not him.

Mupepe

Pros: Fitnessbore MVP 2014. Spends money on Corvettes and motorcycles, why not an Everest trip?
Cons: Houstonites are not known for their hiking abilities. Half Mexican, so probably 50% too sensible for such a trip.

Honorable mentions:
Tasty Meat - CAC, burgeoning interest in fitness
Esch - Disciplined, likes fitness, but might get mistaken for a Sherpa
Huff - Who knows how far his new interest in hiking might take him? Never underestimate frat connections.
Positive Touch - Likes hiking, but past his prime

Kara · « **Reply #24 on:** September 10, 2015, 09:05:51 PM »

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #25 on:** September 10, 2015, 10:00:26 PM »

real talk, the kind of hiking I do is pleasure strolling.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #26 on:** September 10, 2015, 10:01:02 PM »

Quote from: Mamacint on September 10, 2015, 06:51:02 PM

I remember being offended once

cac alert

bluemax · « **Reply #27 on:** September 11, 2015, 01:34:40 AM »

Quote from: Premium Lager on September 10, 2015, 05:16:30 AM

Impossible dream

Hire 30 sherpa's

I mean one of the speculated reasons so many people died on the particular day all these people died was that THERE WERE TOO MANY FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE ON THE MOUNTAIN. It was basically a bunch of inexperienced white tourists being lead by experienced guides and sherpas and they actually had TRAFFIC JAMS on the mountain because there were too many of them.

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #28 on:** September 11, 2015, 03:54:38 AM »

Don't need a college fund as college is free here

Everest here I come

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Explain to your wife what happened to your savings brehs

[close]

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #29 on:** September 11, 2015, 05:34:16 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 10, 2015, 10:01:02 PM

Quote from: Mamacint on September 10, 2015, 06:51:02 PM
I remember being offended once

cac alert

hey, if the boat shoe fits

octopushover · « **Reply #30 on:** September 11, 2015, 07:00:55 PM »

Quote from: The Walrus on September 11, 2015, 01:15:35 PM

Climbing Everest is one of my dreams. I was actually signed up to do the Everest Base Camp expedition when I was in Nepal, but I sprained my ankle pretty badly a few days before and missed my shot.

Acclimating is no joke. I was up around 17,500 feet in Bolivia, and at one point we stopped at this little mini state park. I was climbing some rocks and felt like I was going to pass out.

that's called being fat

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #31 on:** September 11, 2015, 07:01:36 PM »

Quote from: Samson Manhug on September 10, 2015, 09:02:09 PM

People on The Bore who might attempt to climb Everest ranked in order of most likely to least likely:

Kara
Pros: Really into cardio and self-punishment (a redundancy, I know.) Has a strong interest in foreign languages and travel. Hates himself. Financially able to undertake a two month long vacation.
Cons: Has he ever done anything he really wanted to? Not a goy.
Premium Lager
Pros: Strong sense of wanderlust. Skilled traveler. His past experiences of overland travel on bicycle show a willingness to suffer for beauty.
Cons: Married, has kids, poor. His Everest days might be over unless he wins the lottery or spends his kid's college savings (do Europeans do this?) on an Everest expedition mid-life crisis.
Boogie
Pros: Fitnessbore veteran. You can't ascend the planet's tallest mountain without being fit, it doesn't matter how many Sherpas you pay to carry you. Unmarried so nothing to live for. Successful career as Canadian government employee will afford him plenty of paid time off.
Cons: His idea of a good time is telling people to stop smoking weed at wedding receptions. Might not have enough joie de vivre for this sort of thing.
CatsCatsCats
Pros: Portland, Oregon CAC. His tribe sits around and talks about climbing Everest constantly.
Cons: Portland, Oregon CAC. His tribe sits around and talks about climbing Everest constantly.
BrandNew
Pros: Climbing Everest is the ultimate cactivity and BrandNew is the caciest of our many Borecacs. White, middle class millenial in every way imaginable: Apple stan, grew up in the suburbs, moved to the city to become a hipster, sought a life as a knowledge worker in an artistic industry.
Cons: Not much for strenuous activity outside of a pickup game of basketball. Probably has an eating disorder.
Steva Contra (only because his wife made him)
Pros: Steve Contra is what Borecacs want to be when they grow up. Successful career in an exclusively CAC industry: wine importing. Likely to have the finances for such a trip.
Cons: No detectable interest in physical challenges. His wife is the ultrarunner, not him.
Mupepe
Pros: Fitnessbore MVP 2014. Spends money on Corvettes and motorcycles, why not an Everest trip?
Cons: Houstonites are not known for their hiking abilities. Half Mexican, so probably 50% too sensible for such a trip.

Honorable mentions:
Tasty Meat - CAC, burgeoning interest in fitness
Esch - Disciplined, likes fitness, but might get mistaken for a Sherpa
Huff - Who knows how far his new interest in hiking might take him? Never underestimate frat connections.
Positive Touch - Likes hiking, but past his prime

total destruction of the white race

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #32 on:** September 11, 2015, 07:49:39 PM »

Quote from: The Walrus on September 11, 2015, 07:47:13 PM

I can see Karakand doing this. Why not die doing what you love instead of dying while working on Quickbooks?

eagerly awaiting Kara's incredulous response

Kara · « **Reply #33 on:** September 11, 2015, 08:11:09 PM »

Quote from: The Walrus on September 11, 2015, 07:47:13 PM

I can see Karakand doing this. Why not die doing what you love instead of dying while working on Quickbooks?

We all know I'd be the sole survivor of a failed Everest expedition where every other person either died suddenly or via hypothermia which I am reliably informed is a pleasant way to go once you get over the hump.

Not only would I survive, but I'd come back a media darling or some shit and be subjected to 15 minutes of excruciating fame. Hundreds of trite conversations I'd bullshit my way through instead of just being the curmudgeon I am. Inspirational speaking. Possibly a Hallmark Channel movie. Hell on Earth.

And as if this wasn't enough, every rock in my past would get turned over eventually by a ravenous media and I'd wish even more that the mountain had taken me after I'm left with nothing.

mormapope · « **Reply #34 on:** September 11, 2015, 08:56:25 PM »

Quote from: The Walrus on September 11, 2015, 07:57:41 PM

Breh, unless you grew up in the mountains, going from sea level to 16k feet is going to mess with you a bit.

Yeah, seeing this thread sparked some interest into looking up what trekking up Everest is like.

The lack of oxygen causes tons of shit to happen. Mainly your brain can barely function when it comes to decision making and rationalization. An American woman died because she decided to be the first American to go up Everest without bottled oxygen, died at the top of the summit. You'll hallucinate, cuts or scrapes can't even heal, oxygen ain't no fucking joke.

Something that's fucked up is the moral code for climbing Everest is: if you fuck yourself over and can't move, people most likely won't help you due to how much energy is needed just to get up and down the mountain.

HyperZoneWasAwesome · « **Reply #35 on:** September 11, 2015, 09:23:57 PM »

saw the trailer in 3D today, actually looks kinda dope (The Walk looked way better though).

I'm thinking Sam Worthington is gonna be first to die.

bluemax · « **Reply #36 on:** June 06, 2018, 02:28:13 AM »

https://www.sfgate.com/business/article/Man-dies-Mount-Everest-ASKfm-sherpa-cryptocurrency-12967630.php

News:

Author Topic: Is EVEREST the CACest movie of the year? (Read 4580 times)