Here's the key: Some shit is serious and I am serious when I talk about it because it requires the ability to be serious.
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
DO NOT LEAVE THE PREMISES WITH YOUR DRINK," says the woman behind the counter at the Taco Bell Cantina in Chicago. I can tell by the way she looks me in the eye that what she means is this: We finally have booze at Taco Bell. Don't be the guy who ruins it for everybody.This is the first Taco Bell in the world to serve alcohol, and I am here for its Grand Opening. The moment you walk in, it makes perfect sense. Alcohol and Taco Bell! This is your two friends who you always knew would get together.The premises in which I am required to stay until I finish my drink — a Twisted Mountain Dew Baja Blast Freeze With Tequila (TM) — do not look like a normal Taco Bell. It looks like Taco Bell saw how Chipotle dressed on the first day of junior high and begged its mom to get it the same clothes. The tables are wood. There is art. There are people waiting for tables. There are people taking pictures of their food.Nick Keenan and Nick Maker sit together at a long table near the door. The last remains of bright red Twisted Cantina Punch Freezes With Tequila slowly melt in front of them. "It's like drinking a 7-Eleven Slurpee," Keenan says. "If you add liquor to anything, people will come," Maker adds.
The Twisted Mountain Dew Baja Blast Freeze With Tequila is delicious. It's a slushie, supersweet with a vaguely Mountain-Dew-like flavor — exactly the daiquiri you'd make if you were 8 years old and given the chance to bartend. With it, Taco Bell has added ice cream headaches to the carnival of humiliations you can experience at its restaurants.Kirby orders the Twisted Margarita Freeze With Tequila. It differs in color from my drink by only a shade, like we're deciding between two paint samples for the walls of a torture dungeon. His tastes like the powder you use to make Lemon-Lime Gatorade before you mix it with water. He points out they could have salted the rim with mashed up Doritos at least.
Love it or hate it, Taco Bell is often just food purgatory. It's a place you go on your way to somewhere else: right off an exit ramp so you can eat and get back on the road, or a stop between last call and passing out with your clothes on
http://www.vice.com/read/getting-drunk-at-taco-bell-0924
