Author Topic: Autist in need of advice (Read 5363 times)

meeb · « **on:** October 08, 2015, 08:01:02 PM »

I apologize for this autist level post. But if I wanted to chat up dudes at a bar, what exactly do I say? Note that I really don't care to learn more about them, I just want in their pants. Do I just pretend to myself that I really want to know more about them?

Atramental · « **Reply #1 on:** October 08, 2015, 08:03:49 PM »

"Netflix and ch-I'll suck you off?"

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #2 on:** October 08, 2015, 08:46:14 PM »

I mean, dudes are pretty straightforward. "DTF?" pretty much works.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #3 on:** October 08, 2015, 09:04:31 PM »

have you tried finding other autists in the area who wants similar things?

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #4 on:** October 08, 2015, 09:21:55 PM »

dunno but on several occasions I've had a dude come into the bar, ask me if i'm gay (no), buy me a drink and then leave.

meeb · « **Reply #5 on:** October 08, 2015, 09:24:05 PM »

Quote from: Barry Egan on October 08, 2015, 09:04:31 PM

have you tried finding other autists in the area who wants similar things?

Is there an app for that?

Atramental · « **Reply #6 on:** October 08, 2015, 09:29:51 PM »

https://www.spectrumsingles.com/

Website.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #7 on:** October 08, 2015, 09:51:38 PM »

Are you a girl?

meeb · « **Reply #8 on:** October 08, 2015, 10:06:22 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 09:51:38 PM

Are you a girl?

No.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #9 on:** October 08, 2015, 10:16:52 PM »

Quote from: meeb on October 08, 2015, 10:06:22 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 09:51:38 PM
Are you a girl?

No.

well you're on your own then

nudemacusers · « **Reply #10 on:** October 08, 2015, 10:39:24 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 10:16:52 PM

Quote from: meeb on October 08, 2015, 10:06:22 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 09:51:38 PM
Are you a girl?

No.

(Image removed from quote.)
well you're on your own then

pd cornering the market I see

Mr Gilhaney · « **Reply #11 on:** October 08, 2015, 10:42:43 PM »

I was reading this book about Jeffrey Dahmer, at one point some guy gives him a hand written note at the library that just says he can go to the toilet to get his dick sucked. I mean, it's worth a shot and will save you embarrassment if they don't want to. Just give them the note and leave.

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #12 on:** October 08, 2015, 10:45:15 PM »

well meeb if you became a girl, you can be autistic all you want because men will approach you and you don't have to do any work.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #13 on:** October 08, 2015, 11:09:51 PM »

I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #14 on:** October 08, 2015, 11:13:42 PM »

I don't get this. I don't think it's anything with autism. I've heard other guys asking how to approach guys and I'm like

"You're a dude, you know dudes. What's so difficult? You know how this works, 'wanna fuck?' and you're done"

nudemacusers · « **Reply #15 on:** October 08, 2015, 11:54:03 PM »

Quote from: brawndolicious on October 08, 2015, 11:09:51 PM

I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.

yea i've had dudes straight up ask me if i want to go to their apartment after a 10 minute convo and them buying me drinks

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #16 on:** October 09, 2015, 12:04:42 AM »

I got propositioned a month ago. Granted, the circumstances were pretty hilarious- without realizing it, I went to the Spectrum (LGBT dance party) at DragonCon immediately after my friend's dirty game show panel, and I was wearing a t-shirt that said "Mayor of Fuck City," a pink sash that said "Mayor" on it and a paper crown. Also, I have a stupidly large beard. Within two minutes some precious little 25 year old was asking me to be his daddy. Had to break his heart.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #17 on:** October 09, 2015, 12:24:00 AM »

Quote from: nudemacusers on October 08, 2015, 11:54:03 PM

Quote from: brawndolicious on October 08, 2015, 11:09:51 PM
I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.
yea i've had dudes straight up ask me if i want to go to their apartment after a 10 minute convo and them buying me drinks

I know, wasting drinks like that.

Tasty · « **Reply #18 on:** October 09, 2015, 12:28:32 AM »

Quote from: Esch on October 08, 2015, 11:40:52 PM

Just get drunk and let them take advantage of you, word to Andrex

Put this strategy to use on Wednesday.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #19 on:** October 09, 2015, 12:47:36 AM »

You gently brush their elbows, then whisper into their ears: "follow me to the bathroom and I will snort your turd."

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #20 on:** October 09, 2015, 03:57:51 PM »

Quote from: Human Snorenado on October 09, 2015, 12:04:42 AM

Also, I have a stupidly large beard. Within two minutes some precious little 25 year old was asking me to be his daddy. Had to break his heart.

Sure you weren't at a black strip club?

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #21 on:** October 09, 2015, 04:16:23 PM »

Quote from: Mr Gilhaney on October 08, 2015, 10:42:43 PM

I was reading this book about Jeffrey Dahmer, at one point some guy gives him a hand written note at the library that just says he can go to the toilet to get his dick sucked. I mean, it's worth a shot and will save you embarrassment if they don't want to. Just give them the note and leave.

May wanna ease off on using pickup tips you found in a Jeffrey Dahmer biography, unless you're ready to go Full Arvie.

meeb · « **Reply #22 on:** October 09, 2015, 04:25:10 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 08, 2015, 11:40:52 PM

Just get drunk and let them take advantage of you, word to Andrex

Not attractive enough.

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #23 on:** October 09, 2015, 04:34:49 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 10:16:52 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

omg. best emoticon.

floored

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #24 on:** October 09, 2015, 04:43:25 PM »

Huff · « **Reply #25 on:** October 09, 2015, 04:46:03 PM »

Isn't grindr all about getting the D?

meeb · « **Reply #26 on:** October 09, 2015, 05:13:35 PM »

Quote from: Huff on October 09, 2015, 04:46:03 PM

Isn't grindr all about getting the D?

According to some of the dudes on GAF, if you aren't handsome or ripped you'll have no luck with Grindr. Granted most of the dudes saying that are fat. I'm just thin as a rail.

Your Stalker · « **Reply #27 on:** October 09, 2015, 05:22:13 PM »

are twinks not en vogue these days?

Mupepe · « **Reply #28 on:** October 09, 2015, 05:24:50 PM »

"Your boyfriend's a badass" and then you get two d's.

Tasty · « **Reply #29 on:** October 09, 2015, 05:46:42 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 09, 2015, 04:41:12 PM

Quote from: meeb on October 09, 2015, 04:25:10 PM
Quote from: Esch on October 08, 2015, 11:40:52 PM
Just get drunk and let them take advantage of you, word to Andrex

Not attractive enough.

Unless you're too obese to move or suffer from a disability of some sort, i find this hard to believe. The gays aren't known for being picky.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
word to Andrex
[close]

Fuck you, slut

meeb · « **Reply #30 on:** October 09, 2015, 10:06:39 PM »

Quote from: Your Stalker on October 09, 2015, 05:22:13 PM

are twinks not en vogue these days?

They are. But only those with handsome faces.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #31 on:** October 09, 2015, 10:07:41 PM »

Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

meeb · « **Reply #32 on:** October 09, 2015, 10:21:12 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 10:07:41 PM

Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

Hmm I'm considering it, but the second I do the picture is going all over neofag isnt it.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #33 on:** October 09, 2015, 10:25:20 PM »

use the "hide content from guests" option

Tasty · « **Reply #34 on:** October 10, 2015, 12:12:59 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 10:07:41 PM

Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

How the fuck did I become the gay baseline judge?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #35 on:** October 10, 2015, 12:46:06 AM »

Quote from: Tasty Meat on October 10, 2015, 12:12:59 AM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 10:07:41 PM
Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

How the fuck did I become the gay baseline judge?

I'm just showing you the respect you deserve breh.

chronovore · « **Reply #36 on:** October 10, 2015, 11:27:31 AM »

Quote from: nudemacusers on October 08, 2015, 11:54:03 PM

Quote from: brawndolicious on October 08, 2015, 11:09:51 PM
I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.
yea i've had dudes straight up ask me if i want to go to their apartment after a 10 minute convo and them buying me drinks

Well, shit, I'd do that to you, too. We'd just end up playing Tobal 2 or Worms, no sword fighting.

meeb · « **Reply #37 on:** October 10, 2015, 07:28:26 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 10:25:20 PM

use the "hide content from guests" option

Actually where is that option?

Rufus · « **Reply #38 on:** October 10, 2015, 09:22:13 PM »

The padlock button next to the quote button in the full editor. Alternatively, [hide ]shame or steam keys[ /hide].

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #39 on:** October 10, 2015, 10:16:28 PM »

the suspense is killing me

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #40 on:** October 12, 2015, 01:39:23 AM »

Quote from: meeb on October 09, 2015, 05:13:35 PM

Quote from: Huff on October 09, 2015, 04:46:03 PM
Isn't grindr all about getting the D?

According to some of the dudes on GAF, if you aren't handsome or ripped you'll have no luck with Grindr. Granted most of the dudes saying that are fat. I'm just thin as a rail.

As long you're willing to lower your standards, you will get the D on grindr— body weight notwithstanding. The "dudes on GAF" are probably the self-loathing, socially inept, ruminating bunch.

Also, post a pic. Who knows, maybe your inbox will get my D.

meeb · « **Reply #41 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:49:04 PM »

Fine.

First things first: Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

meeb · « **Reply #42 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:50:00 PM »

Ok.

Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

edit: Jesus fuck this image got compressed to hell. Idk how to get around that.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #43 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:51:38 PM »

naturally you post it when I'm at a public place and thus don't want to bring up a pic of a dude on my phone

you better not delete it before I get outta here

OnlyRegret · « **Reply #44 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:55:12 PM »

Just take a bathroom break

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #45 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:00:48 PM »

You kind of look like a serial killer and I mean that in the best possible way.

meeb · « **Reply #46 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:03:23 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on October 12, 2015, 08:00:48 PM

You kind of look like a serial killer and I mean that in the best possible way.

I've been told once before in the past (like 8 years ago) that I don't simply look the part. But I can assure you I'm not... yet.

Also do I look like an ugly serial killer is my question.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #47 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:07:29 PM »

Who the fuck told you you were ugly is my question? I'd say you're definitely above average.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #48 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:10:54 PM »

Quote from: meeb on October 12, 2015, 08:03:23 PM

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on October 12, 2015, 08:00:48 PM
You kind of look like a serial killer and I mean that in the best possible way.

Also do I look like an ugly serial killer is my question.

Well I wouldn't want to run into you in a dark alley

brob · « **Reply #49 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:11:13 PM »

My immediate reaction was to think that you wouldn't look out of place in a gay porn scene set in a college library. Post up at a gay spot with a foucault paperback, a nice sweater/shirt combo and daddies will be swarming quick imo.

meeb · « **Reply #50 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:20:29 PM »

Quote from: brawndolicious on October 12, 2015, 08:07:29 PM

Who the fuck told you you were ugly is my question? I'd say you're definitely above average.

Lets bang.

meeb · « **Reply #51 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:23:51 PM »

Quote from: brob on October 12, 2015, 08:11:13 PM

My immediate reaction was to think that you wouldn't look out of place in a gay porn scene set in a college library. Post up at a gay spot with a foucault paperback, a nice sweater/shirt combo and daddies will be swarming quick imo.

Speaking of which, I could use general fashion advice I suppose.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #52 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:44:28 PM »

As far as fashion advice, what you like to wear is important because you can tell when someone is trying hard. That means that you have to find something chic that works for you.

Quote from: meeb on October 12, 2015, 08:20:29 PM

Quote from: brawndolicious on October 12, 2015, 08:07:29 PM
Who the fuck told you you were ugly is my question? I'd say you're definitely above average.

Lets bang.

I'm straight yo. But I have a good eye for this.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #53 on:** October 12, 2015, 08:53:42 PM »

You look like a regular dude breh, far from ugly. But you know what would take you from regular to being a boss? A beard or five o'clock shadow.

meeb · « **Reply #54 on:** October 12, 2015, 09:01:59 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 08:53:42 PM

You look like a regular dude breh, far from ugly. But you know what would take you from regular to being a boss? A beard or five o'clock shadow.

My facial hair grows in uneven patches. A beard is beyond my grasp

Yeti · « **Reply #55 on:** October 12, 2015, 10:42:32 PM »

I like him without facial hair, he looks like a young Egon.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #56 on:** October 12, 2015, 10:54:31 PM »

Yeah, I could totally get laid looking like that. Just drink, talk, laugh, be loose in the right environment and things will escalate.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #57 on:** October 12, 2015, 11:53:00 PM »

You're not ugly at all. Clear face, jaw line...you're good breh. I don't know what gay dudes like but you're skinny which is a thing among many gay people right?

News:

Author Topic: Autist in need of advice (Read 5363 times)