Author Topic: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs. (Read 3405 times)

Am_I_Anonymous · « **on:** October 12, 2015, 02:01:34 PM »

it's a serious problem.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #1 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:08:07 PM »

Well I hope you get over it. I'd give you a hand but...

studyguy · « **Reply #2 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:22:16 PM »

What constitutes a good handy anyway?
I mean I've had girls do the job just fine, but... they could have done better.

It's not a big deal to me really but I mean come on. Step it up.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #3 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:29:06 PM »

Well there's two types the "caster" and the "twister"....I have found the former to work better with BJ's myself

Kara · « **Reply #4 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:33:13 PM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on October 12, 2015, 02:26:07 PM

A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

Yeah but you get to sit back and relax.

Or enjoy a low level exhibitionist thrill getting them places.

Tasty · « **Reply #5 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:44:18 PM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on October 12, 2015, 02:26:07 PM

A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

Gay HJs

king of the internet · « **Reply #6 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:46:25 PM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on October 12, 2015, 02:26:07 PM

A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

I've thought about this myself. I'm basically a master of pleasuring the male penis.

Tasty · « **Reply #7 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:49:43 PM »

Quote from: king of the internet on October 12, 2015, 02:46:25 PM

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on October 12, 2015, 02:26:07 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

I've thought about this myself. I'm basically a master of pleasuring the male penis.

No wonder your coworker was into you.

Kara · « **Reply #8 on:** October 12, 2015, 02:59:13 PM »

Quote from: Tasty Meat on October 12, 2015, 02:49:43 PM

Quote from: king of the internet on October 12, 2015, 02:46:25 PM
Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on October 12, 2015, 02:26:07 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

I've thought about this myself. I'm basically a master of pleasuring the male penis.

No wonder your coworker was into you.

A metapost in a metathread.

Tasty · « **Reply #9 on:** October 12, 2015, 03:15:06 PM »

Kara gets me.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** October 12, 2015, 03:16:12 PM »

Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life. If you can get her to do it right there's no reason you can't earn a teaching degree at a two or four year institution, or masterfully guide a family member through a difficult computer question over the phone.

The true joy is the aesthetic juxtaposition of a pale hand gliding over your dark pole. I've never witnessed zebras grazing in the Serengeti but I'd imagine it looks a bit like getting a hj from a white girl.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #11 on:** October 12, 2015, 03:26:06 PM »

Do you not trim your pubes or something? It's pretty necessary to avoid the girl pulling it all out unless she's really zealous with the greasing up.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #12 on:** October 12, 2015, 03:32:49 PM »

Handies

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #13 on:** October 12, 2015, 03:37:43 PM »

The key is the pressure level. I need a firm grip and a slow stroke. I prefer that the strokes barely touch the head. Work the shaft with light brushes to the head and I'm good to go.

studyguy · « **Reply #14 on:** October 12, 2015, 03:46:03 PM »

I'd take my girl going down on me over a handjob any day tho tbh.
Like it's not even a contest.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #15 on:** October 12, 2015, 04:16:19 PM »

why not both at the same time

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #16 on:** October 12, 2015, 04:17:29 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 03:16:12 PM

Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life. If you can get her to do it right there's no reason you can't earn a teaching degree at a two or four year institution, or masterfully guide a family member through a difficult computer question over the phone.

The true joy is the aesthetic juxtaposition of a pale hand gliding over your dark pole. I've never witnessed zebras grazing in the Serengeti but I'd imagine it looks a bit like getting a hj from a white girl.

demi · « **Reply #17 on:** October 12, 2015, 04:34:24 PM »

I'm self concious about giving myself hand jobs.

"I mean, this is good but can I do better? Is this really what I settled with?"

Bebpo · « **Reply #18 on:** October 12, 2015, 05:12:14 PM »

Thread relevant & appeared in my facebook feed:

http://www.complex.com/music/2015/10/taylor-swift-reportedly-broke-up-with-calvin-harris-because-he-received-a-happy-ending?utm_campaign=complexmag&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&sr_share=facebook

Trent Dole · « **Reply #19 on:** October 12, 2015, 05:56:15 PM »

Pay for a handy when you're dating Taylor Swift brehs.

jakefromstatefarm · « **Reply #20 on:** October 12, 2015, 05:58:38 PM »

Willingly have sex with Taylor Swift brehs

Trent Dole · « **Reply #21 on:** October 12, 2015, 05:59:47 PM »

Kara · « **Reply #22 on:** October 12, 2015, 06:00:06 PM »

Quote from: jakefromstatefarm on October 12, 2015, 05:58:38 PM

Willingly have sex with Taylor Swift brehs

I could reach peak #BrontëBoy and get a fungible pop song written about what a huge fucking asshole I am.

studyguy · « **Reply #23 on:** October 12, 2015, 06:14:24 PM »

I'm already fucking a white girl without any rhythm in her step.

I mean it's all the same to me, plus you walk away with a bonus song to let the world know you hit it and quit it.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #24 on:** October 12, 2015, 06:14:51 PM »

Can't wait for the song. "Got a handy from a ladyboy. I don't need you! I don't need you!"

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #25 on:** October 12, 2015, 06:33:11 PM »

I can't wait for Ryan Adams' cover of "I just got a handy from a ladyboy, I don't need you!"

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #26 on:** October 12, 2015, 06:35:47 PM »

I'm not even sure you are joking

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #27 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:10:24 PM »

Okay now that we have established the fact you all master level pecker touching enthusiasts, how much you charging?

studyguy · « **Reply #28 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:12:14 PM »

If you have to ask, you prob can't afford it

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #29 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:13:37 PM »

Quote from: studyguy on October 12, 2015, 07:12:14 PM

If you have to ask, you prob can't afford it

Try me breh. I got 6 dollar bills and two leftover volcanic tacos just over here chillin.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #30 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:28:20 PM »

I don't think 6 dollar bills are legal tender.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #31 on:** October 12, 2015, 07:53:42 PM »

A gentlemen doesn't negotiate donations.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #32 on:** October 12, 2015, 09:03:15 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 03:16:12 PM

Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life.

Ain't no one got time for that. You just close your eyes and imagine it's her mother doing it against her better judgement.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #33 on:** October 13, 2015, 12:01:54 AM »

If they are into it, who cares who's hand it is?

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #34 on:** October 13, 2015, 09:37:14 AM »

Sorry, unless it's like Beyoncé or something, hand jobs aren't worth my time -- after the extensive training I did pleasing my own dick in my jr high years, it's mouth, pussy or (no) bust.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #35 on:** October 13, 2015, 10:37:38 AM »

Same here. I'm just like "What is this? Am I 12? You're not coach Johnson."

Kara · « **Reply #36 on:** October 13, 2015, 11:27:16 AM »

Quote from: CatsCatsCats on October 13, 2015, 09:37:14 AM

Sorry, unless it's like Beyoncé or something, hand jobs aren't worth my time -- after the extensive training I did pleasing my own dick in my jr high years, it's mouth, pussy or (no) bust.

So basically if you could suck your own dick you wouldn't want hummers either.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #37 on:** October 13, 2015, 11:29:10 AM »

hypothesis can't be tested

But it'd be truer to the logic I presented to say if I could easily suck my own dick, I probably wouldn't masturbate

Kara · « **Reply #38 on:** October 13, 2015, 11:46:37 AM »

You seem to have thought about this a lot.

I submit that Esch is not a real person but PD's alt.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #39 on:** October 13, 2015, 01:14:33 PM »

I would hope that you'd show yourself the same level of respect and cleanliness that you'd show a girl before she goes down on you. IE cleaning up beforehand. If I were to suck my own dick I'd have the decency to take a shower first.

Tasty · « **Reply #40 on:** October 13, 2015, 01:23:36 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 13, 2015, 01:14:33 PM

I would hope that you'd show yourself the same level of respect and cleanliness that you'd show a girl before she goes down on you. IE cleaning up beforehand. If I were to suck my own dick I'd have the decency to take a shower first.

Some people like things a little dirty.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #41 on:** October 13, 2015, 01:27:22 PM »

Hormone build up

T234 · « **Reply #42 on:** October 13, 2015, 01:30:14 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 03:16:12 PM

Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life. If you can get her to do it right there's no reason you can't earn a teaching degree at a two or four year institution, or masterfully guide a family member through a difficult computer question over the phone.

The true joy is the aesthetic juxtaposition of a pale hand gliding over your dark pole. I've never witnessed zebras grazing in the Serengeti but I'd imagine it looks a bit like getting a hj from a white girl.

Nah, Zebras grazing in the Serengeti looks like me getting a hj from a black girl.

Kara · « **Reply #43 on:** October 13, 2015, 04:20:11 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 13, 2015, 12:20:55 PM

Quote from: Kara on October 13, 2015, 11:46:37 AM
You seem to have thought about this a lot.

I submit that Esch is not a real person but PD's alt.

I had a friend in high school that accused our entire group of all being gay for masturbating (he was a christian). The natural followup to denial of this is of course, "if you give yourself handjobs, why wouldn't you suck your dick".

Some debates are older than time itself.

Yeah, talking about being friends with people who had imaginary friends isn't really shoring up your case.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #44 on:** October 13, 2015, 05:18:37 PM »

More bitterness there than a thousand grapefruit spoons

brawndolicious · « **Reply #45 on:** October 13, 2015, 07:26:28 PM »

I think he's saying Esch is PDs imaginary friend due to Jesus being the anti-fap boys imaginary friend. I'm not totally sure but I think there's a joke in there somewhere.

Also I just realized you two would probably make a good baby genetics wise.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #46 on:** October 13, 2015, 10:10:00 PM »

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #47 on:** October 13, 2015, 10:49:27 PM »

I never come from handjobs, blowjobs, or if I'm wearing a condom. With BJs, most girls assume this is some type of challenge. While I appreciate the effort, it ain't gonna happen. I'm not going to stop any woman from trying though but I usually get a frustrated dirty look about half hour in.

Also women freak out if they catch you faking it.

chronovore · « **Reply #48 on:** October 15, 2015, 11:00:53 AM »

Quote from: Human Snorenado on October 12, 2015, 06:33:11 PM

I can't wait for Ryan Adams' cover of "I just got a handy from a ladyboy, I don't need you!"

Pretty sure I'd rather deal with an original by Taylor Swift.

Trent Dole · « **Reply #49 on:** October 15, 2015, 02:24:28 PM »

This guy just screams uber douche to me. Nice retro sexism in this video too.

Oblivion · « **Reply #50 on:** October 15, 2015, 09:38:38 PM »

Parts of my hair right above the forehead area have started to recede/disappear, giving me this Vegeta-like look. My hair is really long so I'm able to hide it, but discovering it is really fucking depressing. $:-\$

studyguy · « **Reply #51 on:** October 16, 2015, 11:46:24 AM »

Quote from: Oblivion on October 15, 2015, 09:38:38 PM

Parts of my hair right above the forehead area have started to recede/disappear, giving me this Vegeta-like look. My hair is really long so I'm able to hide it, but discovering it is really fucking depressing. $:-\$

Yeah but what's your opinion on handies breh?

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Author Topic: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs. (Read 3405 times)