Author Topic: Official Ls You Received Today Thread (Read 15876 times)

Phoenix Dark · « **on:** February 01, 2016, 09:02:05 PM »

I've been meeting with a coworker on weekends to work on some projects. She really likes Arbys so we tend to go there; I rarely order anything outside of a small fry or onion rings. No matter what she orders she asks for "horsey sauce" ie horseradish. I thought this was weird as fuck but whatever.

Flash forward to tonight. I was itching for some onion rings and a shake, so I went to Arbys. Decided to go inside instead of take the drive thru (my first mistake). Got to the front and ordered onion rings and a shake. Then I said "also can I have horsey sauce please." The lady cashier gave me a

and said "you mean horseradish? I've never heard a non-kid say that."

There was an older lady behind me in line and I could hear her laughing. I took my food and left in shame.

Atramental · « **Reply #1 on:** February 01, 2016, 09:04:57 PM »

Bought one more lotto ticket after I said I was taking a break.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #2 on:** February 01, 2016, 09:21:12 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 01, 2016, 09:02:05 PM

I've been meeting with a coworker on weekends to work on some projects. She really likes Arbys so we tend to go there; I rarely order anything outside of a small fry or onion rings. No matter what she orders she asks for "horsey sauce" ie horseradish. I thought this was weird as fuck but whatever.

Flash forward to tonight. I was itching for some onion rings and a shake, so I went to Arbys. Decided to go inside instead of take the drive thru (my first mistake). Got to the front and ordered onion rings and a shake. Then I said "also can I have horsey sauce please." The lady cashier gave me a and said "you mean horseradish? I've never heard a non-kid say that."

There was an older lady behind me in line and I could hear her laughing. I took my food and left in shame.

That lady was a cunt, it says Horsey Sauce right on the packet, how they gonna give you shit for that?

That's like if you went into McDonalds and asked them to leave off the secret sauce and they're like "umm, actually it's just ketchup and mustard mixed together, are you a child?

" Fuck you, just get me my heart disease in a bag.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #3 on:** February 01, 2016, 09:30:01 PM »

That makes the L even more egregious. Really shows how little respect that Arbys representative had for me. I should have remained loyal to Taco Bell.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #4 on:** February 01, 2016, 11:29:37 PM »

During your upbringing did you not learn the proper pronunciation of words from the Olive Garden staff?

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #5 on:** February 02, 2016, 01:00:27 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 01, 2016, 09:30:01 PM

That makes the L even more egregious. Really shows how little respect that Arbys representative had for me. I should have remained loyal to Taco Bell.

Indeed, you brought this L on yourself, breh

nachobro · « **Reply #6 on:** February 02, 2016, 01:10:51 AM »

Fuck a Arbys.

THose onion rings are good as fuck tho $:-\$

Mandark · « **Reply #7 on:** February 02, 2016, 01:22:22 AM »

Finished behind Martin O'Malley in the Iowa caucuses.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #8 on:** February 02, 2016, 05:49:06 AM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on February 02, 2016, 02:22:57 AM

I got some time alone with gorgeous girl at work that was ruined by the fact that somehow, someway eighteen people came in looking for me and needing my help. I desperately tried to keep her there while working my shit out with those dudes until she got tired and said "sorry Wrath, let's forget about this"

Take an L from legion of cockblockers, brehs.

Sounds premeditated bro. Seems like you got more than one competitor.

zomgee · « **Reply #9 on:** February 02, 2016, 10:07:40 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 01, 2016, 09:02:05 PM

I went to Arbys

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #10 on:** February 02, 2016, 10:15:09 AM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on February 02, 2016, 06:14:59 AM

I wouldn't be surprised. Bunch of thirsty dudes in this building, and I may not be thirsty enough.

Not being thirsty is why she talked to you man, girls sense the thirst

Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich · « **Reply #11 on:** February 02, 2016, 12:47:08 PM »

Boss saw me peekin' at the NSFW thread

Told me to knock it off with the naked chicks and get back to work

Quote from: nachobro on February 02, 2016, 01:10:51 AM

Fuck a Arbys.

no, fuck YOU, friend

chronovore · « **Reply #12 on:** February 02, 2016, 01:51:50 PM »

Quote from: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on February 02, 2016, 12:47:08 PM

Boss saw me peekin' at the NSFW thread Told me to knock it off with the naked chicks and get back to work

Quote from: nachobro on February 02, 2016, 01:10:51 AM
Fuck a Arbys.
no, fuck YOU, friend

You probably should look up what the

acronym stands for.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #13 on:** February 02, 2016, 02:14:27 PM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on February 02, 2016, 11:06:27 AM

All I know is I will get those luscious full lips on my dick at some point. I have to

*this post will be documented for the future as a possible L if I fail*

Future Wrath post: "I had my luscious full lips on her dick last night, but she wouldn't reciprocate."

nachobro · « **Reply #14 on:** February 02, 2016, 11:47:34 PM »

Quote from: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on February 02, 2016, 12:47:08 PM

no, fuck YOU, friend

listen, i'm still all about those onion rings. it's cool

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #15 on:** February 03, 2016, 04:57:35 AM »

I'm up at 4:56 am to do a fucking ocean fishing trip as a guest of a company whom I represent for marketing purposes. I don't think anything else more need be said.....

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #16 on:** February 03, 2016, 05:30:30 AM »

Whats wrong with a fishing trip?

5 am isn't that early too.

Mupepe · « **Reply #17 on:** February 03, 2016, 05:56:37 AM »

Yeah mofo. I wake up at 4am every day.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #18 on:** February 03, 2016, 06:15:06 AM »

I don't do 4am brehs.

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #19 on:** February 03, 2016, 06:50:15 AM »

1% problems

Mupepe · « **Reply #20 on:** February 03, 2016, 07:05:23 AM »

Know what's worse? Going to bed at 8 45 pm. That's a fucking L

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #21 on:** February 05, 2016, 12:52:53 PM »

Gartner's BI quadrants came out yesterday and our biggest Partner was completely removed from the running.
Not performed poorly, or went down in the standings. Completely removed.
There are companies with ~50 employees on that report. But Oracle did so bad they couldn't even compete against those.

But still not even making it on when you're a juggernaut their size?

Brehvolution · « **Reply #22 on:** February 05, 2016, 01:21:33 PM »

Maybe they didn't feel like paying to be on the report. My company payed like ~$50k to be on one a couple of years ago.

edit - Just checked and we are still on it.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #23 on:** February 05, 2016, 01:24:10 PM »

Yeah, but 50k to Oracle is like buying a Big Mac to you and me. It's not even a $30 Italian meal.

tiesto · « **Reply #24 on:** February 05, 2016, 06:42:12 PM »

I did L's Affinity Missions in Xenoblade X today.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #25 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:52:31 AM »

I have to give myself two Ls considering that it's Black History Month. The first is due to not getting a haircut in a timely fashion. I'm looking rough today brehs. My hair gets curly and straight-ish the longer it gets, which results in my hairline looking uneven if I don't get it cut regularly. I figured I could go another week without a cut given that my line was looking decent...but this morning it's looking wack. And I don't have time to get it cut until Wednesday...

The second L is for bringing a white girl to my parents Super Bowl party. It didn't go bad but there were some issues at halftime.

*Beyonce performing new song (Formation)

Dollar Store Girl: Wait, did she say...oh nevermind
Mom: What?
DSG: She said "negro" huh...lol
Mom: Is it a problem?
DSG: No...uh just an observation
Mom: That's what they called us when I was young

later

Mom: Do you want thighs like Beyonce?
DSG: No lol
Mom: Why not

DSG: There's nothing wrong with it, I just don't think I could get thighs like that lol...
Mom: Yeah. I've never seen a white woman with thighs like that

Me:

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #26 on:** February 08, 2016, 11:13:21 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 08, 2016, 10:52:31 AM

I have to give myself two Ls considering that it's Black History Month. The first is due to not getting a haircut in a timely fashion. I'm looking rough today brehs. My hair gets curly and straight-ish the longer it gets, which results in my hairline looking uneven if I don't get it cut regularly. I figured I could go another week without a cut given that my line was looking decent...but this morning it's looking wack. And I don't have time to get it cut until Wednesday...

The second L is for bringing a white girl to my parents Super Bowl party. It didn't go bad but there were some issues at halftime.

*Beyonce performing new song (Formation)

Dollar Store Girl: Wait, did she say...oh nevermind
Mom: What?
DSG: She said "negro" huh...lol
Mom: Is it a problem?
DSG: No...uh just an observation
Mom: That's what they called us when I was young

later

Mom: Do you want thighs like Beyonce?
DSG: No lol
Mom: Why not
DSG: There's nothing wrong with it, I just don't think I could get thighs like that lol...
Mom: Yeah. I've never seen a white woman with thighs like that (Image removed from quote.)
Me: (Image removed from quote.)

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #27 on:** February 08, 2016, 11:27:28 AM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on February 08, 2016, 11:07:52 AM

Not a PAWG, eh?

Not skinny but not a pawg per se either

Mupepe · « **Reply #28 on:** February 08, 2016, 11:53:19 AM »

the only white girls I've seen with thighs like Beyoncé have a belly like mine

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #29 on:** February 08, 2016, 12:27:41 PM »

black girls used to remark on my ass a bunch as a teenager.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #30 on:** February 09, 2016, 12:17:32 AM »

So I'm sitting here waiting for the plane and there's a lady here reading a book called "the cake therapist" except she's holding her hand on the cover in such a way that it reads "the cake rapist" I've had to move my juvenile ass somewhere else to keep from laughing myself silly

chronovore · « **Reply #31 on:** February 09, 2016, 03:40:49 AM »

Something in the

thread redirected to some bullshit scam page, with incompetently written JavaScript dialogs which couldn't be dismissed and caused error looping. It took me 20 minutes to figure out where iOS Safari manages its JavaScript settings.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32 on:** February 09, 2016, 10:47:34 AM »

the thought of Recursive being cat called by a bunch of black women. Did they ask you to shake it as you walked by?

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #33 on:** February 09, 2016, 11:17:14 AM »

Took at L from my mom this morning.

"Hi baby did you remember to get your brother something for his birthday?"

"I took him to the Super.... Bowl.........., momma"

"You ain't even pay for them tickets.....sigh"

"I'll get him something today"

"Good boy"

My brother is so good at being a momma's boy I bet that punk told her that on purpose, lol.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #34 on:** February 09, 2016, 11:19:27 AM »

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #35 on:** February 09, 2016, 11:56:00 AM »

Wow

smh

Oblivion · « **Reply #36 on:** February 09, 2016, 12:37:08 PM »

Quote from: Mupepe on February 08, 2016, 11:53:19 AM

the only white girls I've seen with thighs like Beyoncé have a belly like mine

My most recent ex was White, had amazing thighs, and not an ounce of belly fat. They probably weren't as thick as Beyonce but pretty damn close. However, if we're comparing calves, it's no contest.

So yeah, White women like that do exist, brehs.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #37 on:** February 09, 2016, 01:10:52 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 09, 2016, 10:47:34 AM

the thought of Recursive being cat called by a bunch of black women. Did they ask you to shake it as you walked by?

No but one co-worker at my teenage summer job would lecture me on how I needed pussy, which given that I was stuck by myself with her all day, made me p. uncomfortable tbh

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #38 on:** February 09, 2016, 01:24:16 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 09, 2016, 11:56:00 AM

Wow

smh

Yeah no shit.....be pushing 40 and still get mom'd the fuck up dude...

Steve Contra · « **Reply #39 on:** February 09, 2016, 02:26:41 PM »

Quote from: Mupepe on February 08, 2016, 11:53:19 AM

the only white girls I've seen with thighs like Beyoncé have a belly like mine

I got a lap dance from a stripper with the best thighs/ass combo I've ever seen on a white girl.

tiesto · « **Reply #40 on:** February 09, 2016, 02:34:22 PM »

Quote from: Mupepe on February 08, 2016, 11:53:19 AM

the only white girls I've seen with thighs like Beyoncé have a belly like mine

Gotta find some Jewish or Sicilian gals...

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #41 on:** February 09, 2016, 03:07:57 PM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 09, 2016, 01:24:16 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 09, 2016, 11:56:00 AM
Wow

smh

Yeah no shit.....be pushing 40 and still get mom'd the fuck up dude...

Man I thought the "snitch to mom" thing ended when you reach your early 20s smh.

chronovore · « **Reply #42 on:** February 09, 2016, 03:09:15 PM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 09, 2016, 01:24:16 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 09, 2016, 11:56:00 AM
Wow

smh

Yeah no shit.....be pushing 40 and still get mom'd the fuck up dude...

Just to let ya know, it still happens well after 40.

Mupepe · « **Reply #43 on:** February 10, 2016, 03:33:00 PM »

Got clowned for saying ponzi scheme like pawn-zai scheme. Apparently it's pawn-zee

Realized I need to move out of Texas to get thick, but not sloppy white girls

Atramental · « **Reply #44 on:** February 10, 2016, 03:36:26 PM »

So many slops in SC.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #45 on:** February 10, 2016, 04:04:55 PM »

Quote from: Mupepe on February 10, 2016, 03:33:00 PM

Got clowned for saying ponzi scheme like pawn-zai scheme.

I've never heard anyone pronounce it that way before.

Mupepe · « **Reply #46 on:** February 10, 2016, 04:53:54 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on February 10, 2016, 04:04:55 PM

Quote from: Mupepe on February 10, 2016, 03:33:00 PM
Got clowned for saying ponzi scheme like pawn-zai scheme.

I've never heard anyone pronounce it that way before.

It's the L that just keeps on giving. I tried to think back about when I have actually heard it pronounced and I don't think I had. I think I had somehow always just read the word.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #47 on:** February 10, 2016, 08:31:59 PM »

Weekly meeting with boss.
3 weeks ago was like "You need a line of 8-9 reps!"
I have 8 now.
Today "What have you been doing?! You need 14-16 reps!"
Also he dropped this one, "Why didn't you tell me this guy wanted to meet me?"
"Boss, I sent you this email saying, 'This guy wants to meet you' two weeks ago"
"Why didn't hound me on it?"

Reb · « **Reply #48 on:** February 11, 2016, 04:10:55 AM »

Quote from: Mupepe on February 10, 2016, 04:53:54 PM

Quote from: Great Rumbler on February 10, 2016, 04:04:55 PM
Quote from: Mupepe on February 10, 2016, 03:33:00 PM
Got clowned for saying ponzi scheme like pawn-zai scheme.

I've never heard anyone pronounce it that way before.

It's the L that just keeps on giving. I tried to think back about when I have actually heard it pronounced and I don't think I had. I think I had somehow always just read the word.

You should get 3 other people to say it your way, and have them each find 3 people to convince, etc.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #49 on:** February 11, 2016, 09:28:00 AM »

An Important Person offered me coffee this morning. I said no thanks sir and he said "what are you, 12? I thought everyone drank coffee haha"

I said "haha, well my birthday is coming up so maybe I'll drink it soon" for some reason, I really don't know why. He gave me a

and we got to business.

so far my 2016 Ls revolve around accusations of being a child

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #50 on:** February 11, 2016, 09:35:46 AM »

Pump credit card machine was down.

I go inside and put 40 on my card.

I go back outside and take call from wife.

I drive away and didn't get gas.

Come back and some asshole is filling up on my card.

I inform the clerk.

She stops the pump.

Guy drives away. Then gets pulled over.

Cops come to station.

I just got to work.....

chronovore · « **Reply #51 on:** February 11, 2016, 12:11:38 PM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on February 10, 2016, 08:31:59 PM

Weekly meeting with boss.
3 weeks ago was like "You need a line of 8-9 reps!"
I have 8 now.
Today "What have you been doing?! You need 14-16 reps!"
Also he dropped this one, "Why didn't you tell me this guy wanted to meet me?"
"Boss, I sent you this email saying, 'This guy wants to meet you' two weeks ago"
"Why didn't hound me on it?"

This is the biggest bullshit managing.

Did you have a response for him?

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #52 on:** February 11, 2016, 12:48:41 PM »

Oh you bet I did! Then I swallowed it, didn't say anything and then sulked away like the weak weak man I am.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #53 on:** February 11, 2016, 01:03:51 PM »

Can't wait until I reach "why didn't you force me to do my job?" status in the corporate world.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #54 on:** February 15, 2016, 09:44:18 AM »

Yesterday morning I went to CVS to get some sensitive items: condoms, liquor, and two Valentines Day cards. I didn't have any plans that night: the condoms were simply for the future, the liquor was simply a re-supply, and the cards were for my mom and lady friend. In fact my lady friend had to attend some family business so I planned on giving her the card and something else before she left in the afternoon.

There was only a female cashier in the front so I decided to wait until a male cashier showed up. 5 minutes later a black dude who worked there started stocking shelves. I told him I needed liquor and he opened the glass barrier thingie, and as I predicted he said "I can check you out, follow me."

As we walked to the front I quietly positioned the cards in such a way that no one could see I also had a box of condoms in my hand. But when we reached the front he said "oh Michelle I didn't see you, can you help this guy" and placed the liquor on the counter in front of her

Defeated I placed the card and condoms on the counter. She looked at all four items and gave me the

and said "looks like quite a night huh"

Then she said "don't you need an envelope for the cards?"

I casually lied and said I had envelopes at home, but I could tell she didn't believe me. She bagged my shit and I left with another L.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #55 on:** February 15, 2016, 11:29:26 AM »

You're a grown ass man and you're afraid to buy condoms?

The only person you got an L from today was that religious upbringing bro.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #56 on:** February 15, 2016, 11:33:28 AM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on February 15, 2016, 11:29:26 AM

You're a grown ass man and you're afraid to buy condoms?

The only person you got an L from today was that religious upbringing bro.

It wasn't just the condoms, it was the mixture of items. Condoms, booze and two Valentines Day cards? It looks bad. I was going to tell the cashier one card was for my mom but that seemed like an even bigger L to take.

benjipwns · « **Reply #57 on:** February 15, 2016, 11:39:01 AM »

Should have said "two of these are for my mom." And nothing further.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #58 on:** February 15, 2016, 01:50:08 PM »

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #59 on:** February 16, 2016, 08:00:36 PM »

Unexpectedly getting new tires, car is so messy and clearly neglected, the embarrassment is real. At least I can pay for it

News:

Author Topic: Official Ls You Received Today Thread (Read 15876 times)