Official Ls You Received Today Thread

[chronovore]

In one version of the game, you even get a GUN powerup, which lets you stand there and shoot an opposing player

(Image removed from quote.)

[bluemax]

I don't remember the gun powerup, must've been added after I left. I did help with a bomb powerup, a firey uppercut ala Street Fighter, a lightning zap ala Raiden from Mortal Kombat, and a robotic arm that reached out and grabbed people. It was a lot of fun brainstorming ideas like those and then putting in the game.

[tiesto]

Submitted an application for Honeywell last week and got a call from a recruiter today. Guy was like "do you have any experience with embedded programming?" and I said "not specifically, but I have 9 years of desktop app development and 4 years of web-based software development"... guy then basically said all snarky "we can't hire you, we need at least a year of embedded development" and then dropped the call.

[chronovore]

Submitted an application for Honeywell last week and got a call from a recruiter today. Guy was like "do you have any experience with embedded programming?" and I said "not specifically, but I have 9 years of desktop app development and 4 years of web-based software development"... guy then basically said all snarky "we can't hire you, we need at least a year of embedded development" and then dropped the call.

That was pretty rude.

Never-ever-ever accept a recruiter's opinion of you. They need you for one tiny thing, and it's not even "filling the niche," it's making a hire which matches their description, which they don't even grok 90% of the time.

[Kara]

My stalker recently tried to intimidate me by revealing that they'd found me on faceyb (which is no accomplishment as my account is under my legal name and concealed behind minimal privacy settings) and that they were "happy" that I'd reconnected with people they knew. Thing is, I haven't talked to those people in 5+ years, and the only reason I'm friends with them still on this particular social media platform is because I friended them when I set up my account 5+ years ago.

It's one thing to have a stalker, but another entirely to have a stalker who is actively bad at stalking. Insult, meet injury I suppose?

[Madrun Badrun]

If by stalker you just mean an old acquaintance that reaches out to you after a few years, then I have no stalkers.

[seagrams hotsauce]

My stalker recently tried to intimidate me by revealing that they'd found me on faceyb (which is no accomplishment as my account is under my legal name and concealed behind minimal privacy settings) and that they were "happy" that I'd reconnected with people they knew. Thing is, I haven't talked to those people in 5+ years, and the only reason I'm friends with them still on this particular social media platform is because I friended them when I set up my account 5+ years ago.

It's one thing to have a stalker, but another entirely to have a stalker who is actively bad at stalking. Insult, meet injury I suppose?

humblebrag kara back once again i see

[Rufus]

I accidentally logged into my 'real' Facebook account when I wanted to log into my fake account I use for logins that require it. Now they're sending me all the stupid nagging mails again.

I'd move this to the minor inconveniences thread, but I can't be fucked to do it.

[I'm a Puppy!]

This all happened last week:

Puppy: I need to get my team to be able to install software and connect to a server.
Help desk (team 1): Oh you need to put in a request to be able to do that. You need to go to the INFA team.
Puppy to Infa team : I need to be able to install this software, please give us access
Infa team (team 2): OK. that'll take a day
<One day later>
Infa team: Ok you should be able to install.
Puppy: Awesome. Hey wait...It says I don't have access to install
Infa team: Oh we only give access to the software you need to call desktop ops for access to install
Puppy to desktop ops: I need my team to be able install this software.
Desktop ops (team 3): OK. Give us a few hours (a few hours later) OK you should be able to install
<install works but the team can't connect>
Puppy to infa team: Hey I installed your software but I can't get to any servers.
Infa team: Oh you need the Network team to give you access, we only give access to the software, not the server. You need the OIM team for that
Puppy to OIM team: I need access to these server
OIM team (team 4): OK that'll take a day
<one day later>
Puppy to OIM Team: Ok my team for x location can connect but every other location can't.
OIM team: Oh we only deal with the access to the server, not connectivity. You need the Network Ops team
Puppy to network ops team: We can't connect to these servers from y location!
Network Ops team (team 5): Oh, you know, I think it might be a repository database issue, you need to work with the DB ops team
Puppy to DB Ops team: I can't connect to these servers!
DB Ops team (team 6): Hrmm...that looks weird. You know, we talked to the Network ops team we think our cloud instance we think it's an issue with our cloud implementation you need to work with the cloud ops team
Puppy to cloud cloud ops team: These fucking thing doesn't work!
Cloud Ops (team 7): Maybe you're using it in a way that you're not supposed to.
Puppy: Dude, you guys made a policy that no contractors/consultants don't get company laptops and have to use a VDI two months ago. Everyone that's connecting this way would have this issue.
Cloud ops: Hrmm...that would explain why those other teams where saying they weren't able to do any work a few days ago...Let me look at something.
Puppy: See? can you please fix this?
Cloud ops: Hold on, it looks like the way we've configured it we can't track users' traffic so we don't know who's doing what.
Puppy: OK, but can we please fix this?
Cloud ops: Oh man this is bad. I told them to fix this months ago.
Puppy: can we please fix this?!
Cloud ops: What? Oh no man. This is really bad. We're going to need to plug this hole before we consider fixing your stuff.
Puppy: I need this fixed or my whole team is benched.
Cloud Ops: I need to escalate this to Enterprise Operations (team
Puppy: OK, but I need this fixed
Cloud ops: well enterprise ops meets in two weeks so they can prioritize it

8 teams and now possibly 3 weeks to do something that's never taken me more than 2 hours anywhere else. And people seriously believe that private business inherently run better than government. 

[chronovore]

Nightmarish.

Sounds like a portion of the company is in the doldrums, and the parts of the company which should save them have their head up their ass.

[Oblivion]

Some broad that I've had this weird booty call limited relationship over the past few years declined my offer to have sex. 

That by itself wouldn't have been a big deal, but if you saw what this gal looked like, you'd understand why this would be quite insulting.  :'(

[brawndolicious]

Oblivion, girls don't wanna be anybody's backup plan, there's nothing wrong with that.

Mr. pup, I feel you. I really do. I think the mapping software team completely forgot about my project for a week and I'm gonna have to be like WTF YO to a nice little Indian lady who treats me like her work son. Multiple gay and/or homeless men at night have told me that I look Indian.

Which I think of as a win.

[bork]

Came into the office this morning after a relaxing four day weekend.

Nobody here.

I've been here for two hours now, and....still nobody here.  The guy who starts with me called out "sick" and the woman who comes in after is on vacation the whole week.

So it's just me holding it down for another 20 minutes...assuming the next guy actually arrives on time.

[chronovore]

Finally checked to see which Amanda Palmer song it was that I've been enjoying whenever it randomly plays over the past year, it turns out to be Nico's Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams. 

[I'm a Puppy!]

Now onto teams 9 and 10, still not fixed 

Oh and did I also mention they're outsourcing everything in about 5 weeks? And their whole outsourced team who will be running the system will have this exact same issue, and they haven't noticed. Which means that this company is taking over management of a system in 5 weeks, and they don't even know they can't connect to it yet.

That is going to be a disaster.

[Brehvolution]

At least the money saved from outsourcing will offset the money lost in productivity.

[I'm a Puppy!]

or at least a tenth of it.

[Huff]

Misspelled my co-presenters name on a powerpoint I put together

feel like an asshole now

[Mupepe]

Misspelled my co-presenters name on a powerpoint I put together

feel like an asshole now

Brian/Bryan type deal or Maheshawaran type deal?  Or maybe you just spelled it Bryn?

[Huff]

Lindsey/Lindsay

[Madrun Badrun]

Shame/shame

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I just badly twisted my ankle trying to pick up my dog's shit after he shit outside.  I should have been like the rest of the people in this apartment complex and not picked it up.

[Kara]

A dog pissed on my pants and my individual size bag of Doritos was stale.

At least Taco Bell didn't fail me.