Author Topic: Finally got out of Jail! (Read 6302 times)

BlackMage · « **on:** February 08, 2016, 07:34:28 PM »

Any of you pieces of shit got a job opening or a couch I could sleep on? The ex-con life is hard, doe!

T234 · « **Reply #1 on:** February 08, 2016, 07:43:09 PM »

Blackmage got locked up? For what, stealing the hearts of lonely evilboreans?

BlackMage · « **Reply #2 on:** February 08, 2016, 08:03:17 PM »

If you do give me a place to stay, I promise I won't kill you! I can't promise you I won't rough you up a little, or stick things in your butt (carbon based or otherwise), but kill you? NO WAY! I've learned my lesson!!

Positive Touch · « **Reply #3 on:** February 08, 2016, 08:04:16 PM »

no pedos in my house dude sorry

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #4 on:** February 08, 2016, 08:32:59 PM »

1) What did you do to get thrown in jail?

2) What's the going rate for an hour with your mom these days?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #5 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:05:31 PM »

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #6 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:11:00 PM »

Pro tip: Don't go work for Baskin Robbins. They find out. They always find out.

Syph · « **Reply #7 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:19:47 PM »

based on your resume you could probably get a job as a NeoGAF mod

thisismyusername · « **Reply #8 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:39:37 PM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on February 08, 2016, 10:11:00 PM

Pro tip: Don't go work for Baskin Robbins. They find out. They always find out.

But maybe that'd be a good thing...

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #9 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:47:04 PM »

Quote from: Syph on February 08, 2016, 10:19:47 PM

based on your resume you could probably get a job as a NeoGAF mod

Well that depends. Did he pedo? Or beat his mom? If so, he's in.

Atramental · « **Reply #10 on:** February 08, 2016, 10:52:53 PM »

Or scam people out of their money to buy drugs?

Or beat off on a printed image of a colleague's girlfriend?

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #11 on:** February 09, 2016, 08:55:06 AM »

Now that your asshole has been loosened by some of our more provocative criminals I suppose you probably need to see PD for a summary of said anal non-conformity.

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #12 on:** February 09, 2016, 08:56:00 AM »

Quote from: Pallando on February 08, 2016, 10:52:53 PM

Or beat off on a printed image of a colleague's girlfriend?

I will never understand this one. For the life of me I don't understand how this nerd didn't understand the size of the L he was handing himself. Christ.

Samson Manhug · « **Reply #13 on:** February 09, 2016, 04:48:29 PM »

Apparently stewards (errand boys) make $2400 a month in Antarctica. How does that sound?

Boogie · « **Reply #14 on:** February 09, 2016, 04:49:18 PM »

Quote from: Mary Tyler Whore on February 08, 2016, 08:32:59 PM

1) What did you do to get thrown in jail?

.

Samson Manhug · « **Reply #15 on:** February 09, 2016, 04:54:16 PM »

Why don't you look it up on your NAFTA/TTP database, Queen's Cowboy?

Boogie · « **Reply #16 on:** February 09, 2016, 04:59:43 PM »

Followup questions:

1) How long have you been gone?

2) Were you locked up this whole time? Or did the conditions of your parole include not to access a computer or the internet, because you pedo?

Boogie · « **Reply #17 on:** February 09, 2016, 05:00:11 PM »

Quote from: Samson Manhug on February 09, 2016, 04:54:16 PM

Why don't you look it up on your NAFTA/TTP database, Queen's Cowboy?

Reason for Query: Ammo for ridicule on internet message board.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18 on:** February 09, 2016, 05:01:28 PM »

He broke into my heart.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #19 on:** February 09, 2016, 05:15:54 PM »

Wow bm was gone for a year and a half. Not saying he was in jail for all that time but he wasn't posting here. I'm gonna assume it was just a dui/car accident thing.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #20 on:** February 09, 2016, 06:31:27 PM »

Quote from: brawndolicious on February 09, 2016, 05:15:54 PM

Wow bm was gone for a year and a half. Not saying he was in jail for all that time but he wasn't posting here. I'm gonna assume it was just a dui/car accident thing.

$:-\$ $:-\$ $:-\$

Please don't say that

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #21 on:** February 09, 2016, 06:36:46 PM »

Now that Kara is dead, I figured I'd put a word in with the governor to spring BM so the board wouldn't get too lonely.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #22 on:** February 09, 2016, 08:18:01 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on February 09, 2016, 06:31:27 PM

Quote from: brawndolicious on February 09, 2016, 05:15:54 PM
Wow bm was gone for a year and a half. Not saying he was in jail for all that time but he wasn't posting here. I'm gonna assume it was just a dui/car accident thing.

$:-\$ $:-\$ $:-\$

Please don't say that

Lawl no calm down. It's the only reason I can think of why he would be gone for that long is a drunk driving accident.

If he was a pedo or something that bad, that carries a multiyear minimum jail time doesn't it?

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #23 on:** February 09, 2016, 08:37:20 PM »

It was probably soliciting, I think it runs in the family

nachobro · « **Reply #24 on:** February 09, 2016, 08:40:50 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 08, 2016, 10:05:31 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

well, you did get banned. he was playing the long con (no trigger intended)

BlackMage · « **Reply #25 on:** February 09, 2016, 08:43:01 PM »

I bet nobody realized I was even gone. :'(

I wasn't in jail. I got addicted to pain killers and was out of commission for a while. Then I got married.

Mods Help · « **Reply #26 on:** February 09, 2016, 09:17:07 PM »

Fucking BM.

Always the fucking worst at giving blue balls and I don't even have much in the way of balls anymore.

I hope you're ok. On the painkiller addicted thing, not on the marriage, haha.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #27 on:** February 09, 2016, 09:37:03 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on February 09, 2016, 08:43:01 PM

I bet nobody realized I was even gone. :'(

I wasn't in jail. I got addicted to pain killers and was out of commission for a while. Then I got married.

DS2 IN STORES NOW

Beezy · « **Reply #28 on:** February 09, 2016, 10:34:45 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on February 09, 2016, 08:43:01 PM

I bet nobody realized I was even gone. :'(

I wasn't in jail. I got addicted to pain killers and was out of commission for a while. Then I got married.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Welcome back, BM.

[close]

Samson Manhug · « **Reply #29 on:** February 10, 2016, 12:02:36 AM »

Congratulations!

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #30 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:19:15 AM »

Welcome back and congratulations on getting hitched!

Hope you've got your addiction in check opioids are a bitch to deal with.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #31 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:36:26 AM »

Quote from: WRATH VICE™ on February 10, 2016, 01:01:30 AM

Of course all the hottest guys got married.

Don't leave me here with PD as the only option, please! :'(

I haven't got married and neither has Jin.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:40:16 AM »

When I marry Jin, PD will corner you in a room, alone, and talk enthusiastically about BBCs for 3 hours.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #33 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:40:42 AM »

You'll pretend to get a text but he wont take the hint.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #34 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:47:06 AM »

That's when the kissing starts and he hasn't shaved his upper lip in 3 days.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #35 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:52:18 AM »

And the kisses are too wet and he bangs teeth like a home-schooled.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #36 on:** February 10, 2016, 01:53:47 AM »

And that's when you think, I shouldn't have called Dandy too safe, right before PD takes you in the French fashion.

chronovore · « **Reply #37 on:** February 10, 2016, 06:34:46 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 10, 2016, 01:53:47 AM

And that's when you think, I shouldn't have called Dandy too safe, right before PD takes you in the ~~French~~ Greek fashion.

Fixed.

Bebpo · « **Reply #38 on:** February 10, 2016, 07:51:34 PM »

Congrats on the marriage!

benjipwns · « **Reply #39 on:** February 10, 2016, 08:06:56 PM »

Did you at least meet them in jail?

News:

Author Topic: Finally got out of Jail! (Read 6302 times)