Author Topic: Israeli Man seeks restraining order against God  (Read 867 times)

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benjipwns

  • your bright ideas always burn me
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Israeli Man seeks restraining order against God
« on: May 05, 2016, 08:27:52 PM »
http://www.timesofisrael.com/man-seeks-restraining-order-against-god/
Quote
The initiator of the request, a resident of the northern port city, represented himself in court, the Walla news site reported on Wednesday.

A protocol of the hearing noted that God did not turn up for the session, although it did not specify how the court determined the Omnipresent was not in fact there, as opposed to merely exercising the right to remain silent.

The petitioner, who was not named in the report, noted that he had tried to obtain the restraining order from police for the past three years but that police had merely sent a patrol car to his home on 10 occasions.

He argued that over a three-year period God, had exhibited a seriously negative attitude toward him, although details of just what divine mischief he had borne the brunt of were not mentioned in the report.

Presiding Judge Ahsan Canaan denied the request, which he said was ludicrous, asserting the applicant needed help not from the court but rather from other sources.

The report did not include a response on the outcome from any of the multitude of available spokespeople on behalf of the Lord.

recursivelyenumerable

  • you might think that; I couldn't possibly comment
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Re: Israeli Man seeks restraining order against God
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2016, 08:47:29 PM »
http://www.timesofisrael.com/man-seeks-restraining-order-against-god/
Quote
The initiator of the request, a resident of the northern port city, represented himself in court, the Walla news site reported on Wednesday.

A protocol of the hearing noted that God did not turn up for the session, although it did not specify how the court determined the Omnipresent was not in fact there, as opposed to merely exercising the right to remain silent.

The petitioner, who was not named in the report, noted that he had tried to obtain the restraining order from police for the past three years but that police had merely sent a patrol car to his home on 10 occasions.

He argued that over a three-year period God, had exhibited a seriously negative attitude toward him, although details of just what divine mischief he had borne the brunt of were not mentioned in the report.

Presiding Judge Ahsan Canaan denied the request, which he said was ludicrous, asserting the applicant needed help not from the court but rather from other sources.

The report did not include a response on the outcome from any of the multitude of available spokespeople on behalf of the Lord.

Dude just filed his case in the wrong district, I hear good things about the courts in Magicalrealusalem.
QED

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: Israeli Man seeks restraining order against God
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2016, 09:07:17 PM »
Bit too much poetic license in this Saul Of Damascus adaption.
010

Brehvolution

  • Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.
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Re: Israeli Man seeks restraining order against God
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2016, 09:21:30 PM »
Quote
multitude of available spokespeople on behalf of the Lord.

:kobeyuck
©ZH

I'm a Puppy!

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Re: Israeli Man seeks restraining order against God
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2016, 09:25:47 PM »
I should do the same. that god guy will not stop fucking things up for me.
que