Infuriating and self-defeating social tics you can't seem to shake

[recursivelyenumerable]

I keep putting off posting birthday facebook wall posts for my friends until exactly 11:59 pm. And I wonder why everybody hates me.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Your profile picture looks like a guy I knew in high school

[toku]

[Huff]

I now wish friends happy birthday a day or two after their birthday since I found out how annoyed Kara gets

I hope at least one of my friends gets equally annoyed

[Mupepe]

I'll mark personal emails or text messages as read with the intention of going back and responding.  I rarely ever do.

[Phoenix Dark]

I automatically wave at friends from a distance when I see them, or when just about anyone I know walks up and says "hey."

[I'm a Puppy!]

At work I have no problem injecting myself into groups. But in private life I don't chase. If there's a group of people that I should be talking to or something, I wont interject myself I'll wait for them to talk to me or give me an opening.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I stop paying attention past the third sentence.

[Madrun Badrun]

I stop paying attention past the third sentence.

And now your political opinions suddenly make sense. 

[recursivelyenumerable]

I automatically wave at friends from a distance when I see them, or when just about anyone I know walks up and says "hey."

this is a good thing! wtf.

[Madrun Badrun]

I hate seeing people you know from a distance.  Cause then you have to avoid eye contact periodically while walking to them, otherwise you will be staring and you will be weird, but if you don't do any eye contact and just approach with adverted eyes then you will also be weird.  Sometimes I think autistics have it right.     

[Human Snorenado]

I hate myself. Does that qualify? In any event, women seem to not like that so much.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I stop paying attention past the third sentence.

And now your political opinions suddenly make sense.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I don't do it much these days but I can nod my head too much.

[Mupepe]

Sometimes when I'm in the back of somebody's car, and they only have loud-ass speakers  coming from the back, I can barely hear parts of whatever conversation going on.

 Even if I ask them to lower the volume, I still can't really hear them and don't want to sound like an ass by either telling them to speak up or lower the music a second time.

 So instead I awkwardly try making out the few words I can hear and try keeping a conversation from there.

 Just last night the person who was driving me somewhere looked like he was talking to the other person in the passenger seat, so I kinda just looked through my phone. Turns out they were trying to tell me something for about four or five minutes.

 Whoooops.

I used to do this all conversations because I'd have trouble making out what people were saying.  It became really easy to just say "I have no idea what you're saying" after the 2nd time they repeat themselves.  It usually works itself out from there and it's actually not awkward.

I don't do it much these days but I can nod my head too much.

I use too many hand gestures. I always feel like I should be doing something with my hands.  I hate it.  I'm trying to work on that.  It's even worse now because we have video phones at work so I can't even get away with it on phone conversations.  So I'm trying to quit that shit.

[Samson Manhug]

The entire charm that I rely on to attract people to me is a confidence, wit, and adventurousness that borders on arrogance, condescension and recklessness. It seems to serve me well in the short term but not in the long. It’s hard to figure out where to draw the line.

Edit: Add leadership -> being controlling too.

[CatsCatsCats]

At least you're self aware. I usually notice my bullshit /after/ the damage is done

[Rufus]

I'm terrible with introductions and good byes.

I have to look at people's hands when shaking hands, to make sure I actually find and grasp properly.

I'm also very conscious about natural seeming eye contact, which ensures that it's not. Paradoxically, it also leads me to linger on prominent features instead, which I then have to hope they're not self-conscious about.

[Positive Touch]

i started completely ignoring Facebooks birthday notifications and I've never felt freer

fuck Facebook

[I'm a Puppy!]

I also have a very hard time suppressing laughter.
So if someone says something stupid you can bet I'll be like "HA!!!"
Happens nearly every day.

[Mupepe]

I'm terrible with introductions and good byes.

I have to look at people's hands when shaking hands, to make sure I actually find and grasp properly.

I'm also very conscious about natural seeming eye contact, which ensures that it's not. Paradoxically, it also leads me to linger on prominent features instead, which I then have to hope they're not self-conscious about.

Yeah I lock eyes when I speak to someone which I think makes them uncomfortable.  FUCK THAT I'M IN THE POWER POSITION

I also have a very hard time suppressing laughter.
So if someone says something stupid you can bet I'll be like "HA!!!"
Happens nearly every day.

I did this the other day at work.  There are two Tina's that sit relatively close to each other.  Tina 1 walks by a ladies cubicle and the lady says "Hey! How have you been?"  Tina 1 says "oh I've been good how about you?  Oh you weren't talking to me were you?"  Lady says "No.  I was talking to Tina" as Tina 1 turns around to see Tina 2.  The whole "I was talking to Tina" but she said that to Tina made me LOL.  But Tina 1 thought I was laughing at her.  I had to go apologize and give her a Starburst to explain afterwards.  I felt bad.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Today's L for not being able to contain laughter was this:

"Well, you had set aside 12 weeks to get the requirements for this multi-year project done. It was far too short a time for such a massive project but you at least have enough of a framework to start. It might be rocky though, you really should have had probably double the time given the complexity. What's next?"
"Well we start the vendor selection process that'll take 16 weeks."
"HAAAHHAAA!"
"What? What's so funny?"
"You're seriously going to spend 25% more time selecting a vendor than actually documenting your requirements?"
"Yeah. I guess so. Maybe we should have spent more of that time documenting requirements."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH...I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need a minute HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!"

[Van Cruncheon]

i finish people's sentences for them. it's never to early to impose your reality and preferred outcomes.

[PlayDat]

i started completely ignoring Facebooks birthday notifications and I've never felt freer

fuck Facebook

The F.B. Purity extension has a feature (among a bunch of other neat ones) that hides birthdays.  The only people I ever wish happy birthday to are my parents.  I don't really care to celebrate them otherwise.  My own birthday is hidden through the normal Facebook setting.

[Tasty]

[kick51]

I last about 2 hours or less around people I'm not interested in socializing with, then start being very brief and have a hard time acting like I want to be there

"Do you not like my friends"

"Nah...they're cool....i'm just tired"

and then on to the next relationship!