"Karen, Suzanne, Jim... Bob.. ok, I count about 10 of you winners so everyone's here.
So today we need the input from you, our TRUMP GOLD card members. The team here has been working
around the clock to change our message so first, please look at the following new campaign phrases we've come up with.
Write down what you feel and think when you hear these.... ok here we go"
- "I'm #CovinNineTeenIn it"
"Now this one doesn't roll off the tongue, but we think with a hashtag we could have something here.. moving on"
- "Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's COVID-19"
"A reinvented classic, give a hand to miss Hicks for this one, one of our top contenders for sure"
- "COVID-19, Live with It"
"I like this one, sorta Apple-like very clean very minimalistic branding. This could work for the entire campaign."
- "We didn't start the CoronaVirus"
"Now this one is very powerful when it comes to messaging as we emphasize President Trump has nothing to do with this and it could even be turned into a song"
- "Boohoo Kung Flu"
"This is sorta a take on the 'own the libs' theme we've been running for the past 3 years, might need some finetuning but we like where this is going"
"Next we have drafted some ideas for mascots for the youngest Trump fans and their parents"
"First here is Covey the Outbreak, he looks very cute I think but make sure to make your own personal notes"
"Next up is C-19 the Robot and finally we have DIVOC COVID a sort of Masculine Russian action hero if you will to emphasize the friendship between the US and Russia"
"Oh and I totally forgot the COVIDSONS an entire happy infected family"
"And finally we have something special. Remember what you fans always say President Trump is?"
"A rapist?"
"No Karen not a rapist"
"A Nazi?"
"No Jim, not a Nazi... you all call him BATMAN!"
"Oh, yeah I guess Mr. Kushner"
"That's right Bob, and BATMAN needs a sidekick right?. Now the Chinese have been playing around with Corona-chan and we thought we'd create our own AMERICAN take on it.
So we're very proud to reveal CORONA-JANE. The real American Corona Icon and sidekick of President Donald J. Trump. Melania didn't want to pose
for this character so we used an intern instead but doesn't she look flashing? Of course she wears her special ANTI-COVID-19 mask handcrafted by
President Trump and as you can see she wears a suit with a print of the American flag. Now some people find the Confederate earrings a bit too much but we think it
completes the look"