I was gonna post this in the "relationships" thread but I guess that one is only about hypothetical relationships now, so you poor fucks are subjected to another one of my alcohol inspired topics
Last night, my ladyfriend told me "Bout to be that time so I'm probably gonna hit you up for a booty call tomorrow
"
Today, around 5 pm, she hits me with "Hey, come on by! Just made chili!" accompanied by a picture of delicious looking chili.
What kinda message is that? We've been together long enough that she knows that the very sight of beans, red meat and tomatoes could well send me on an a gastrointestinal adventure that would make me question if my body is actually being used as a set for The Magic Schoolbus. I know the adage is "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach" but shouldn't it be more like "the way to a mans dick is through foods that won't make his asshole work overtime"?
Anyway, I wound up dedicating way too much thought to this and came up with my list of top 3 worst things to eat before fucking
3. Chocolate Pudding
2. Chili
1. Fried Chicken
Mac and cheese and too many buffalo wings get the honorable mention.
