Goth family Atkins protein bar gobble-a-thon at the local Fred Meyer

[Van Cruncheon]

Okay, I'll keep this short because DUBYA TEE EFF. I just popped down to Fred Meyer (local megamarket) to pick up a truckload of bottled water and some Triscuits for tonight's wife-sanctioned WoW-athon. The wife wanted a few Balance bars so I lumber off to their hilariously sparse organic section.

In the tiny corner aisle dedicated to protein bars and granola shiz -- it's shaped like an "L" -- was a fucking ALL-GOTH FAMILY. There was four of them -- a dad with cornrows and face paint, a mom, a teenaged daughter, and a son roughly in the 6-9 age range. EVEN THE FUCKING YOUNGEST-ASS KID HAD MASCARA.

Thery were -- and I shit you not -- opening and EATING FUCKING ATKINS ADVANTAGE BARS. Hell, they were fuckin' GOBBLING THEM -- the dad and the mom were unwrapping them, pocketing the wrapper in her giant hoodie, and wolfing them down. I had to fuckin' gawk. I mean WTF WTF WTF dlak;jdaslk;jkf;dsla.

The girl gave me the fucking finger, and they all kinda receded into the elbow of the "L". I debated reporting it, but it was too fucking weird. I kinda wandered down to the bottled water aisle and loaded up. I finally mentioned it to the checkout gal, and she didn't entirely seem to believe me, but she said she'd check it out. Even now, I'm all DID THAT FUCKING HAPPEN.

People are fucked up! FUCK YOU IF YOU'RE WEIRD!

[TVC15]

Dude, why didn't you have a cell phone camera with you!!!  You could made a MEME!

[Van Cruncheon]

FUCK I HAD MY PHONE CAMERA

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

[Van Cruncheon]

Man, this incident makes me wanna rewatch Slums of Beverly Hills.

[demi]

Was she hot?

[Van Cruncheon]

The daughter woulda been okay, I think, if her face hasn't been contorted all nasty and if she lost like 30 pounds. The mom was gross.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Picture evidence? I guess not.

[Diablos]

I remember assisting a goth mother and her two goth girls at a previous job; they stopped by often. They were pretty friendly and down to earth though. Also very attractive. But they did get a lot of looks and honestly, why dress like that every day? :\

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

I remember assisting a goth mother and her two goth girls at a previous job; they stopped by often. They were pretty friendly and down to earth though. Also very attractive. But they did get a lot of looks and honestly, why dress like that every day? :\

BECUASE MY SOUL BURNS LIKE A RIVER OF FIIIIIIIRE

[Vizzys]

was the youngest kid smoking a cigarette? Ive seen kids around the age of 7 smoke.

[TVC15]

I remember assisting a goth mother and her two goth girls at a previous job; they stopped by often. They were pretty friendly and down to earth though. Also very attractive. But they did get a lot of looks and honestly, why dress like that every day? :\

I dunno.  I used to know a bunch of goths that were really nice people.  I never bluntly asked them why they dressed the way they did.  I think they just did it because, shocku, girls like getting dressed up.  For guys, the draw is more often the music and or, well, hot goth chicks, and lol teh darkness. 

It's worth mentioning that dressing like that is a good social indicator of which people would like to interact with you and which would rather not.  Shallow, yes, but a legit purpose.

[Diablos]

I agree, but it's kinda weird for a goth family to go walking through a public place. I don't know, I guess I'm just used to seeing younger people take on the style, but "younger" people are getting older now, so I guess this should be expected. And hey, they were nice people, so whatever.

[Flannel Boy]

I don't know, I guess I'm just used to seeing younger people take on the style, but "younger" people are getting older now, so I guess this should be expected.

 

[Diablos]

To put it simply: people who enjoyed the 90's goth scene are getting older.

[The Fake Shemp]

Goths aren't real, what you saw was natural gas from a swamp reflected off the atmosphere or something.

[MrAngryFace]

I never see that cool stuff at Fred Meyer.

[TVC15]

I never see that cool stuff at Fred Meyer.

One time I like threw a total fit on the floor of a K-mart or something when my mom wouldn't but me corn nuts.  I was just a kid though.  No older than like 17 or so.

[Van Cruncheon]

[MrAngryFace]

I never see that cool stuff at Fred Meyer.

One time I like threw a total fit on the floor of a K-mart or something when my mom wouldn't but me corn nuts.  I was just a kid though.  No older than like 17 or so.

I lol at the mental image.