What’s your retirement plan?

[Atramental]

So far it looks like I’ll either have a fatal heart attack at 60 while pulling an all-nighter or I’ll just put a bullet through my skull when my inevitable dementia kicks in since assisted suicide will probably still be illegal in this fucking distinguished mentally-challenged country.

How about you all?

[TVC15]

Heart attack within next 5 years. Possibly a stroke on the toilet. I’ll go undiscovered for days/weeks.

[Tasty]

I got a decent 401k going.

Assuming I'm lucky enough to stay in working condition until I can collect, and that we're collectively lucky enough for the economy to stay together and for World War III to not break out, I should be alright.

That is if my screenwriting career doesn't take off...

[Momo]

Going to skydive without a parachute

[benjipwns]

Everyone I've ever known who has retired has eventually died after only a few decades or less, plus years of sickness were involved, so I'm staying as far away from that toxic lifestyle as possible.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

can you retire if you never truly started working?

[close]

[TVC15]

Everyone I've ever known who has retired has eventually died after only a few decades or less, plus years of sickness were involved, so I'm staying as far away from that toxic lifestyle as possible.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

can you retire if you never truly started working?

[close]

Two weeks before my mom’s retirement date, she found out she had terminal cancer that would kill her in about three months.

[Valkyrie]

Hopefully whichever job I end up with after graduating will help me enough to not starve. Just thinking that some day I’m going to be 67 is giving me a major anxiety attack.

[Mupepe]

The wife and I started on our 401k pretty young and so have a decent amount in there. I also have a home business that I plan to continue doing after I retire (doubles as a hobby) that should help out.

[HardcoreRetro]

Grab my bindle and walk into the wild.

[jorma]

Radical life extension. If it’s not ready by then, I’ll just power through as an old dude.

I'd be so fucked if this was available in my lifetime, since i plan to retire soon and live off my savings. They won't last if we're all gonna be 150 years old. I'd have to get a job again when i'm 80. Fucking hell, man.

[archnemesis]

If I'm still healthy I will continue working part time well past retirement age. I'll also spend more time with the family and my hobbies.

[nudemacusers]

75% of my salary that you’ll all pay for 

[Valkyrie]

Hopefully whichever job I end up with after graduating will help me enough to not starve. Just thinking that some day I’m going to be 67 is giving me a major anxiety attack.

You're going to do great things in your life and you're going to have a wonderful grown-up daughter who will always love you for being a fantastic mother to her. And if you're lucky you'll have grandkids who love you, too.

All the feels. Thank you so much for the kind words.

[Nabbis]

Accumulate wealth and then sell it for my senile days. Another option would be to spend it on experimental gene therapy, depending on how it works out in 50 or so years.

[VomKriege]

Universal public plan though I should probably plan some sort of complement due to the current nature of my employment.

[Huff]

Living to be old enough to retire sounds terrible

[Atramental]

Retirement plan?

UBI, brehs. It's coming.

Maybe in Europe.

America will either be convinced that UBI is for lazy leeches who can’t pull themselves up by their bootstraps or maybe class consciousness finally kicks in and we make some heads roll during years of blood filled uprisings and revolts.

Another potential retirement plan for me is leaving the US entirely so I can watch it decay and devour itself from a distance.

[Diunx]

If I ever have kids hope they can make enough money to support old man Diunx, there is no such thing as retirement in this country unless you are a politician.

[Boogie]

75% of my salary that you’ll all pay for 

Aww, yeah, Team Government Pension!   Suck it, Benji!

75% of salary tho 

Ours tops out at 70% of salary at 35 years in.




I kinda halfway plan to retire at 55.  That would be 32 years service, so 64% of salary.

I'm also a home owner in the greater Toronto area, so I should have real estate value to play with come retirement.

and I also invest a little bit in a retirement savings plan, to have some extra retirement money on top of pension too.  Just 50k in that so far.

So, pension + a bit of investment money + maybe cashing out on real estate = I should be fairly set.

[Joe Molotov]

Bitcoins

[nudemacusers]

Retirement plan?

UBI, brehs. It's coming.

Don’t want to live on gov food paste breh

[Clockwork5]

Investments + inheritance.

I should be alright and will probably be able to leave something for the kids I don't have.

[Momo]

I would live off green milk if it means I can redistribute the 8 hours a day i spend on work to more sessions at the dojo and shitposting on the internet

[nudemacusers]

75% of my salary that you’ll all pay for 

Aww, yeah, Team Government Pension!   Suck it, Benji!

75% of salary tho 

Ours tops out at 70% of salary at 35 years in.




I kinda halfway plan to retire at 55.  That would be 32 years service, so 64% of salary.

I'm also a home owner in the greater Toronto area, so I should have real estate value to play with come retirement.

and I also invest a little bit in a retirement savings plan, to have some extra retirement money on top of pension too.  Just 50k in that so far.

So, pension + a bit of investment money + maybe cashing out on real estate = I should be fairly set.

30 years is 75% for me; 25 is 62%, tho 25 is prob more realistic given how I see most O-5s/O-6’s burn out. Plus TSP/401k I think I’ll be ok.

The max is 40 yrs/100% but fuukkk that.

[paprikastaude]

ignoring it

[benjipwns]

Aww, yeah, Team Government Pension!   Suck it, Benji!

[Rufus]

Cardio-vascular issues run in the family. Few make it to 70, so - work til death.

[toku]

lol thinking you're gonna make it past 40

[Cerveza mas fina]

Sell the house, move to a poor European country where my money will be worth more
Collect a partial state pension from Holland and Denmark, plus some own saved up pension through work.

Alternatively just stay in the paid off house

Although if things go kind of normally I should inherit two flats so those can be rented out and prob pay enough.

Also win the lottery

Bonus idea; buy a mobile home and drive around Europe with the missus forever

[Phoenix Dark]

Divorce my wife and run away with an 18yo thot.

[Rufus]

lol thinking you're gonna make it past 40

My sedentary lifestyle is not that deadly.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I'm going to die as I lived: vigorously jerking it to porn on the internet.  I hope it's lifelike VR by then.  So I won't need much, I could probably get by living in a tube.

Serious answer:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've been funneling in money into a savings account, 401k, Roth IRA, HSA, private investment account, and a deferred compensation plan.  I don't go full Mr Money Mustache but the vast majority of what I earn goes into savings and investments.  I ensure that I maximize my contributions to all tax deferred plans.  I still live like I did when I was in college.  Home ownership is for suckers.

[close]

[eleuin]

hopefully sleep apnea leads to heart failure 

[kingv]

75% of my salary that you’ll all pay for 

Aww, yeah, Team Government Pension!   Suck it, Benji!

75% of salary tho 

Ours tops out at 70% of salary at 35 years in.




I kinda halfway plan to retire at 55.  That would be 32 years service, so 64% of salary.

I'm also a home owner in the greater Toronto area, so I should have real estate value to play with come retirement.

and I also invest a little bit in a retirement savings plan, to have some extra retirement money on top of pension too.  Just 50k in that so far.

So, pension + a bit of investment money + maybe cashing out on real estate = I should be fairly set.

30 years is 75% for me; 25 is 62%, tho 25 is prob more realistic given how I see most O-5s/O-6’s burn out. Plus TSP/401k I think I’ll be ok.

The max is 40 yrs/100% but fuukkk that.

I was a navy officer for near 10 years. Now that I have been out for 10, the retirement looks nice.... but goddamn I hated the job.

[ToxicAdam]

I'll never stop working. I love it.

The few times in my life where I didn't have a job, I was miserable and bored.

[BlueTsunami]

A well placed bullet

[zomgee]

lol thinking you're gonna make it past 40

fuck you ive made it to 45


shit

[BisMarckie]

I will scam my insurance to pay me a huge amount of money due to a fake work related injury. Just need the right doctors 

Then I will finally have the time to make shitposts in bad faith 24/7 

[Phoenix Dark]

Outside of my earlier plan, I'm also heavily investing in my 401k, Roth IRA, and high yield savings account. Alongside other investments

[kingv]

If your going to divorce your wife none of that other shit is going to work.

[Cerveza mas fina]

I didnt know you were married PD

[thisismyusername]

Probably a bullet.

SS is gonna be gone by the time I'm retirement age and 401K's/etc. aren't happening either.

[TVC15]

Probably a bullet.

SS is gonna be gone by the time I'm retirement age and 401K's/etc. aren't happening either.

By the time we’re today’s (or even tomorrow’s) retirement age, there won’t be a retirement age. We’re working until we die. Society as it is needs to be upended.

[jorma]

Probably a bullet.

SS is gonna be gone by the time I'm retirement age and 401K's/etc. aren't happening either.

By the time we’re today’s (or even tomorrow’s) retirement age, there won’t be a retirement age. We’re working until we die. Society as it is needs to be upended.

I vote for a system where no one has to work except for toxicadam. He seems to love work, which does seem like an awfully toxic position here on the bore. So the username checks out.

[Rufus]

The robots will save us. Believe.

[samfish]

I plan to be a sex tourist in Thailand and the Philippines, taking my social security and plowing it into prostitutes, so I can plow it into prostitutes.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have a 401k and also some investments in index funds (which I need to start putting more into)[/spoilers]

[close]

[CatsCatsCats]

Oh this thread blended in my high mind with the other one. House pays off normally when I’m 57, so I’m hoping my numbers are looking good around then to fuck off to another country or something with the wife

[naff]

So far it looks like I’ll either have a fatal heart attack at 60 while pulling an all-nighter or I’ll just put a bullet through my skull when my inevitable dementia kicks in since assisted suicide will probably still be illegal in this fucking distinguished mentally-challenged country.

How about you all?

It's the only responsible way to go, assisted suicide is for selfish pussies. If you must kill yourself, don't get others involved. An opiate overdose when that uncomfortable old age inevitably hits is my plan.

[kingv]

I plan to be a sex tourist in Thailand and the Philippines, taking my social security and plowing it into prostitutes, so I can plow it into prostitutes.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have a 401k and also some investments in index funds (which I need to start putting more into)[/spoilers]

[close]

You know, I wouldn’t chose the country yet, who knows where the cheapest Prost is will be in 30 years!

[Brehvolution]

Do what I do now except without all the work. Hopefully be able to extract some of what should be a healthy 401K before it's wiped out by depression or war.

[Tasty]

Lot of depressing posts ITT

[kingv]

So far it looks like I’ll either have a fatal heart attack at 60 while pulling an all-nighter or I’ll just put a bullet through my skull when my inevitable dementia kicks in since assisted suicide will probably still be illegal in this fucking distinguished mentally-challenged country.

How about you all?

It's the only responsible way to go, assisted suicide is for selfish pussies. If you must kill yourself, don't get others involved. An opiate overdose when that uncomfortable old age inevitably hits is my plan.

My mom asked me to help her commit suicide if she ever get dementia... I was like, “I’m not sure I want to go to jail for that mom”

[Rufus]

Tell her about exit bags.

[warcock]

Universal public plan though I should probably plan some sort of complement due to the current nature of my employment.

Wtf is this shit, are you saying old people are taken care of cause they can't work anymore in your country? Where the fuck do you live?

[Skullfuckers Anonymous]

I'm saving 25-30% of my income in tax advantaged accounts. I'll probably switch to a government job at some point so I can get healthcare during retirement. Otherwise, I'm probably not getting married or having kids so I think I'll have enough money to get through retirement.