RICHARD SCARRY'S PLEASE AND THANK YOU BOOK

[Van Cruncheon]

HOLY SWEET PORKBELLY JESUS I HATE THIS BOOK. It's preachy as fuck and has dumb non-stories about polite people doing obnoxiously polite things.

The end is the worst, though, because it tries to tell you WHO IS A HORRID PEST. Nowhere is Diablos or TDS mentioned, but the cool kids who throw rocks at fatties and swishes get dinged. Fuck children's books. I'm reading my daughter passages from Nabokov's Pale Fire instead.

[FlameOfCallandor]

Those books have such cute towns and characters.

[Van Cruncheon]

Please and Thank You doesn't. It's preachy twaddle where everyone goes to tea parties and treats the younger kids nice and compliments each other for trivial accomplishments and helps with the housework.

Fuck that. Is there a version of Scarry where the kids defecate on a Bible or thrash a hobo to death with stolen windshield wipers? This is what I want my daughter to learn -- to disrespect obnoxious family values and to abuse the poor for sport.

[Van Cruncheon]

Those books have such cute towns and characters.

furry. which ones do you recommend jerking to?

[FlameOfCallandor]

You're going to masterbate to a kids book? 

[Van Cruncheon]

dude, i jerked off to finding nemo.

[Joe Molotov]

My favorite one is the one with the sleepwalking goat. Gold Bug was awesome.

[FlameOfCallandor]

dude, i jerked off to finding nemo.

Am i supposed to be impressed?

[TVC15]

I will jerk off to anything.  Challenge me!

Oddly enough, the stuff PD sends me is the LEAST SEXY shit I have ever seen.

[Van Cruncheon]

BUGDOZER. Bugdozer fucks shit up! I used to think Lowly Worm was a pimp, but truthfully? he's a total fuckin' asskiss. Father Cat needs to school his lame ass.

Also, what kinda book teaches you NOT to mock fat people when they break chairs with their fat? When the hippo girl crunches Lowly's chair, they're all nice and apologetic. Don't they know you're supposed to scream with laughter and put your cigarettes out on their sobbing lardbody?

[bagofeyes]

I jerk it to women's golf sometimes. When they swing you can see some boob jiggle.

[Joe Molotov]

I jerk it to women's golf sometimes. When they swing you can see some boob jiggle.

Just wait until you discover women's Tennis or Volleyball.

[Van Cruncheon]

FoC, what children's books are good for masturbating?

[The Sceneman]

I have a piggy bank shaped like the monkey dude in his banana car.

Thats a good character. Hes called Magilla Gorilla or something