I got jury duty on Monday

[TVC15]

Fuck me in the goat ass.  Oh well, it’ll be nice to finally railroad a criminal.

[BlueTsunami]

Incoherently scream attica until youre released from your bonds

[Great Rumbler]

I'll pray that it's an absolutely gruesome murder featuring mild cannibalism, for your sake.

[Madrun Badrun]

Don't judge them based on the colour of their skin or taste in marvel movies. 

[agrajag]

I will say a prayer for the poor jurors that have to be locked in a room with you.

[jorma]

at the jury selection thingy, just quote a bit from your dream diary, that should probably be enough to get you off

[Transhuman]

Keep us updated

[zomgee]

at the jury selection thingy, just quote a bit from your dream diary, that should probably be enough to get you off

phrasing

[Don Rumata]

I will say a prayer for the poor jurors that have to be locked in a room with you.

Maybe you'll get to sit Jury Duty, for whatever comes outta that.

[Human Snorenado]

I can't imagine if you answer more than 3 questions truthfully you'd be selected. Just read them your old review from Viva Pinata.

[Joe Molotov]

This is your chance to put the system on trial.

[benjipwns]

the things life never lets you do just because you deny the legitimate authority of a single entity

spoiler (click to show/hide)

lol jk it's the one thing you get from paying for a poli sci degree

[close]

[ToxicAdam]

That’s why you should never read the mail. Just toss it all.

[BIONIC]

It would be a real missed opportunity if you didn’t show up in full BDSM gear, eating something that vaguely resembles human flesh, and openly talking about your animal sex dreams.

They need to know the real you 

[agrajag]

show up in those bdsm hoof boots, gimp costume and a horse tail butt plug. Bonus points if you have a dildo attached to your forehead thingy

 

[I'm a Puppy!]

I believe I've told this story here before. But the last time I got jury duty I was sitting next to a cute little grandma in her 70s (at least) and I helped her with the papers and all that and she proceeded to tell me about how the last time she went to jury duty it was for a prostitution ring bust and she proceeded to explain how they had a menu of the possible acts you could pay for and then went on to tell me each in great detail. You haven't lived until you've had someone's grandma explain to you what "around the world is" in graphic detail in a government building.

[TVC15]

I don't get to Judge Dredd anyone today. But I need a place to go and work. There's construction outside my fucking apartment.

[Himu]

The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

[benjipwns]

you just say the jury has the right to judge the law as well as the facts no matter what a judge claims

or that you don't trust the police procedures, especially in a search

it's pretty simple to get off a jury, or to get on one really...it's the "on call" that's toughest to avoid

spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is one of those fun anarchist/libertarian debates, should you act to get on a jury in order to ensure due process

[close]

[jorma]

you just say the jury has the right to judge the law as well as the facts no matter what a judge claims

or that you don't trust the police procedures, especially in a search

it's pretty simple to get off a jury, or to get on one really...it's the "on call" that's toughest to avoid

spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is one of those fun anarchist/libertarian debates, should you act to get on a jury in order to ensure due process

[close]

are you saying that telling them that you dream of funding a large (and super gay) criminal organization in Canada by selling drugs and silver coins might not be enough?

[benjipwns]

the real goal is to avoid contempt of court