insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?

[Eschaton]

going off the movies since i dont read comics unless they come from glorious

there are plenty of obvious choices but i think thor is the winner here. he's just too many tropes dovetailed together..... the Golden One style ubermensch monarch look, the obvious appeals to the varg vikernes crowd, plus he's a NEET with intense mommy issues in the last movie.

you may be tempted to go with say captain america or iron man as symbols of empire (one representing an idealized america, the other as the prototypical benevolent bourgeois interventionist) but there's fash bashing inherent to both characters and a sort of technocratic elite aspect to IM that renders him unsuitable.

bonus shout out to black widow for the QAnon aesthetics and hulk for The Gorilla Mindset.

[team filler]

hawkeye is just american sniper with a bow

[agrajag]

well Thor is basically an Aryan wet dream so

[toku]

I was trying to think of how Black Widow fits just to make a joke about her googling BGC porn.

[Van Cruncheon]

black panther -- leader of a conservative, isolationist, technocratic ethnostate

#killmongerwasright

[Van Cruncheon]

that...

my dumb weed brain can't process if that is laughably adolescent or actually kinda swass (mostly on account of "marxos")

[agrajag]

Nick Fury is basically Dan Crenshaw

[nudemacusers]

T’Challa:Tony Stark::Candace Owens:Donald Trump

[BisMarckie]

Thor would be way too busy getting pussy in the real world to truly care about politics. He wouldn‘t even vote most of the time.

[toku]

Venom did well because ppl are horny and want to fuck and suck the thing.

[Van Cruncheon]

i want to know about the millennia of barbarities performed by wakanda's nostalgia-driven, arch-traditionalist post-modern monarchy, and papered over by neon and flying cars and mecha cat suits

how many subcultures bled and died for the human triteness of shuri's nanotech wizzbangery and t'challa's performative ascension ritual

vibranium doesn't mine itself, sheeple!

#latestagefeudalism, fam

[Van Cruncheon]

only two things keeping wakanda from being the fantasy fever dream of the alt-right

1. it has black people
2. it didn't invent anime

edit: on the plus side, wakanda actually BUILT THAT WALL

[Kara]

1. This thread is amazing.
2. Esch made some great points about Cap. However, Cap was so desperate for a trad wife that he abandoned his post to permanently and totally go back in time to reunite with Peggy Carter. "But wait, Peggy isn't trad wife material," the fact checking nerds are thinking right now. WRONG. You think Peggy is going to talk about intersectional systems of oppression? You think Peggy is going to ask Cap to go down on her while she's menstruating and then get mad when he's not down with that? We are all more than our jobs, read Fight Club instead of being an insufferable dweeb on the internet.
3. Venom fucking ruled, if it perhaps ran a little too long.

[Van Cruncheon]

i liked venom too, although frankly i was into it just to see bezos-musk get a space alien beating

[Van Cruncheon]

while i think my case for t'challa is solid, i must confess i initially thought the same as filler -- "heyo, hawkeye is just christopher kyle with a steady government police job" -- but i didn't want to admit it and live a life of dishonor on thebire

[team filler]

cap is just zyzz but gay af

[agrajag]

zyzz was a russian troll, it's all starting to add up..

[nachobro]

bruce banner probably read a book so him. 100% watches anime too

[Van Cruncheon]

how many minorities has hawkeye killed? probably lots. his daddy, nick fury, doesn't see color, natch.

he's got a trad wife, a state-sanctioned outlet for his ptsd, and an ex-soviet collar to cuck him.

yes, i am stuck in a hotel in portland waiting for my coworkers to drown me in vodka

[Kara]

oh my God Captain America is a bodybuilding.com poster

 

[Joe Molotov]

Black Widow is a Russian twitter bot.

[Van Cruncheon]

question is, who is thebore.com's leftist mcu daddy?

vision is too feels to be antifa. the hulk is too masculinist. loki too hedonistic to commit to the revolution. daredevil too religious (and twee).

i vote jessica jones because she's bitter, drunk, and punk enough to smash the state. she's got ressentiment in spades, and she's also enough of a colossal fuck-up to be browsing guro porn when the people finally take the means of production

[team filler]

also interracial loving BBC slut 

[Himu]

going off the movies since i dont read comics unless they come from glorious

My man

[Joe Molotov]

Thanos is into butt stuff.

[Kara]

question is, who is thebore.com's leftist mcu daddy?

vision is too feels to be antifa. the hulk is too masculinist. loki too hedonistic to commit to the revolution. daredevil too religious (and twee).

i vote jessica jones because she's bitter, drunk, and punk enough to smash the state. she's got ressentiment in spades, and she's also enough of a colossal fuck-up to be browsing guro porn when the people finally take the means of production

Unfortunately KGBeast is a DCAU character. :'(

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Who dies in the opening of one of the Suicide Squad movies.

[close]

[jakefromstatefarm]

Maybe DC was the one all along.

remember when they turned anarky into a rothbardian?

Re: cap; if we amend it to specifically the superego of a misc. poster then I’m all on board. He’s got way too much moral rectitude for a normal basement-dweller

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I probably would’ve gone back in time for Hayley Atwell

[close]

Are x-men the vision of colorless liberal utopia in the post-lbj era or is that too obvious of a take?

[Mandark]

Hawkeye is absolutely on Facebook commenting on Blue Lives Matter posts and sharing memes about the kids today and their sagging pants (all of which use at least five different fonts and have really bad compression artifacts).


edit: Tony Stark was absolutely a usenet troll but that was before post-but-not-really-ironic racism was the wave.

[Himu]

Hawkeye is absolutely on Facebook commenting on Blue Lives Matter posts and sharing memes about the kids today and their sagging pants (all of which use at least five different fonts and have really bad compression artifacts).

The sagging pants thing is so weird because i see old people talk about it on facebook when it hasn't really en vogue literally all decade.

[Mandark]

The sagging pants thing is so weird because i see old people talk about it on facebook when it hasn't really en vogue literally all decade.

At least old people have a built-in excuse for being 15-20 years behind on pop culture.

https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/116002989570920448

spoiler (click to show/hide)

https://twitter.com/bradkelly17/status/997625334777380865

those tweets are equal parts naked racism and

[close]

[Kara]

I mentioned this in the LF thread recently but I always get popped by airport security when I fly. Anyway, when I was traveling last weekend I got popped as per usual and the agent who molested me flipped the heck out during my search and accused me of sagging my pants intentionally and repeatedly chastised me. As far as he was concerned I was a cac in business attire too.

That guy totally posts blue lives matter memes on Faceyb and is more likely than not to have fantasized about murdering a visible minority under the aegis of a badge.

[Himu]

I mean, I do like the look of a bent brim compared to the flat brim look so I get that but still.

[Kara]

I bent the bill of my Cuba World Baseball Classic hat. Wonder how that gets assessed in the Ben rubric.

[Mandark]

I mentioned this in the LF thread recently but I always get popped by airport security when I fly. Anyway, when I was traveling last weekend I got popped as per usual and the agent who molested me flipped the heck out during my search and accused me of sagging my pants intentionally and repeatedly chastised me. As far as he was concerned I was a cac in business attire too.

That guy totally posts blue lives matter memes on Faceyb and is more likely than not to have fantasized about murdering a visible minority under the aegis of a badge.

One of my friends worked with a guy who told a story about putting his TV right next to a street-facing window then staying up all night with his gun waiting for someone to try to steal it. This was in Baltimore. Nobody took the bait.

[Himu]

No way, flat bill with the sticker on is still major swag

I think it looks wack. Like the niccas who leave the price tag on their clothes or the logo tag on their shoes. Tackiness.

[Himu]

Who is the liberal with traditional values? Probably Cap. I like Cap then.

[agrajag]

Hawkeye is absolutely on Facebook commenting on Blue Lives Matter posts and sharing memes about the kids today and their sagging pants (all of which use at least five different fonts and have really bad compression artifacts).

The sagging pants thing is so weird because i see old people talk about it on facebook when it hasn't really en vogue literally all decade.

try driving through the hood parts of miami then let's see. Maybe Florida is behind on fashion trends idk

[Himu]

I’m black. I don’t need to drive to the hood to see black people. I notice black people everywhere I go by virtue of being black and the number of people I have seen people sagging in the last decade can be counted on one hand. One day dudes just said,”let’s stop sagging” “aight” and they did.

As for Florida, yeah. It’s definitely behind.

[agrajag]

Well just because you're black doesn't mean all black people live one shared experience. I see people with sagged pants multiple times a day every day

 

[Himu]

Didn’t say we all have a shared experience. Just noting that the trend of sagging is pretty much dead. I’ve witnessed this across multiple states and economic barriers. Unless you’re in Florida it seems.

[Kara]

Hulk is literally an incel because he can't fuck. At least before Endgame, getting a boner = heart rate too elevate = Hulk Out and almost assuredly kill whatever woman he was trying to fuck in the process.

The dialectic itt.

[VomKriege]

Banner green pilled himself into a literal transformation which conveniently absolve him of any horrific outburst of anger (up to endangering lives) he might have at the tiniest contrariety.

[VomKriege]

I mean he even has a film blog. Try to tell me he's not a shut-in neckbeard.

[Crash Dummy]

Hulk is literally an incel because he can't fuck. At least before Endgame, getting a boner = heart rate too elevate = Hulk Out and almost assuredly kill whatever woman he was trying to fuck in the process.

so what happens during a nocturnal emission?

[CatsCatsCats]

[Madrun Badrun]

Ant man literally went to jail to expose corporate crimes - he's clearly the best lefty candidate. 

[Van Cruncheon]

thanks, esch, for sending me down a wikihole on posadism instead of actively socializing with my peers

no, seriously

[Tripon]

The one who went on a murder spree at the beginning of the movie.

[toku]

Dr. Vahlen top waifu and she's a cold hearted monster that had no boundaries.

[naff]

wouldn't be surprised if black widow was a white preservasionist

also def accused of being a russian bot on twitter a lot

[chronovore]

hawkeye is just american sniper with a bow

Also his reaction to losing his place and power in the world was to get an undercut and go around killing minorities

This was literally what I was thinking, but you phrased it even better than I would have.