The Karakand Memorial White Sitcom Tournament Sponsored By Kojima Productions

[benjipwns]

Five years ago, The Bore worked painstakingly and scientifically to determine that Blossom was the whitest sitcom of the 90s.

Despite this, white people have continued to exist. And even worse, have continued to insist on producing sitcoms. This raises monumental questions like, was Frasier robbed by improper seeding? Can Blossom go back-to-back? Are Full House and Friends still prominent powers? Should we trust a philosophical anarchist to run an election-tournament-hybrid after trusting a well respected neoliberal last time? Will The Bore stay up long enough for this to work? How does Roseanne's spectacular revival and subsequently more spectacular collapse change things? What is the meaning of Tim Allen's Last Man Standing?

As such, here is the main determination for us to make. Do we expand beyond the 1990s? Do we decide that a show must be fundamentally steeped in 1990ism or some kind of past-show nostalgia such as prominent once stars? Or do we simply say, it's been five years, we can begin to consider the 2000s? Shows from the pre-9/11 world? Shows from the pre-Iraq world? Pre-Obama? Personally, I have no issue with simply adding six more shows from the 21st Century such as Last Man Standing to get us to 64. But we should choose wisely, especially when replacing shows from the 1990s.

No matter what we decide, as reward for making the Final Four last time, our four top seeds will be Blossom, Full House, Sex and the City and Friends. After that the shows will be seeded in a more metric based fashion based on longevity, ratings and awards. This is mostly to prevent things like Fraiser vs. King of Queens in the first round rather than being a Regional Final or at least Sweet Sixteen matchup. And make for Cinderella runs to be more real Cinderella runs taking down true large seeds.

Let us begin the deliberations and I just want to tell you all: Good luck. We're all counting on you.

2014 nominees

3rd Rock From The Sun
ALF
Almost Perfect
Blossom
Boston Common
Boy Meets World
Caroline in the City
Charles in Charge
Clarissa Explains It All
Coach
Cybill
Designing Women
Dharma & Greg
Ellen
Empty Nest
Everybody Loves Raymond
Fired Up
Frasier
Friends
Full House
Golden Girls
Grace Under Fire
Growing Pains
Home Improvement
Just Shoot Me!
King of Queens
Mad About You
Major Dad
Mama's Family
Married... with Children
Mr. Belvedere
Murphy Brown
Ned & Stacey
Newhart
NewsRadio
Parker Lewis Can't Lose
Perfect Strangers
Roseanne
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Saved by the Bell
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
Spin City
Step by Step
Suddenly Susan
The Drew Carey Show
The Hogan Family
The Jeff Foxworthy Show
The Naked Truth
The Nanny
The Single Guy
Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place
Unhappily Ever After
Veronica's Closet
who's the boss
Will and Grace
Wings
Working

[close]

[benjipwns]

Excuse me, I have just been notified by our sponsor that we are not, under any circumstances, to consider Kojima Productions' Death Stranding (available soon on PlayStation 4) to be a white sitcom.

[Great Rumbler]

Whitest sitcom of the year: Blossom! For 22 years in a row, baybee!!

[Cerveza mas fina]

I think we can add anything that had its final episode up until 2009

That said 90s is peak white

[BisMarckie]

It started airing in 2000, but since it’s been agreed upon that the 90‘s lasted until 2005 I‘d like to nominate Gilmore Girls

[BisMarckie]

Mr. Belvedere had Bob Uecker, should at least be a 3 seed.

No Becker on the 2014 list, what a snub by the committee

[Cerveza mas fina]

90s lasted till 9/11 imho

[BIONIC]

It started airing in 2000, but since it’s been agreed upon that the 90‘s lasted until 2005 I‘d like to nominate Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls isn’t a sitcom hoe

[BisMarckie]

It started airing in 2000, but since it’s been agreed upon that the 90‘s lasted until 2005 I‘d like to nominate Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls isn’t a sitcom hoe

Its whiteness transcends genres.

[agrajag]

saying the 90's is whole stock white af is UPN-erasure.

[ToxicAdam]

UPN was alt-television. Martin was the Nirvana of alt-tv.



Full House was so white it's Mormon. Should've beat Blossom.

[agrajag]

act like Fresh Prince and Moesha didn't exist

[ToxicAdam]

Fresh Prince was just Different Strokes reskinned. Nobody over 14 watched Moesha.

[agrajag]

you're showing your age here, old man

[Ghoul]

clarissa explains it all gets my vote.

[thetylerrob]

It started airing in 2000, but since it’s been agreed upon that the 90‘s lasted until 2005 I‘d like to nominate Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls isn’t a sitcom hoe

Its whiteness transcends genres.

This is actually true the sequel season actually has Rorie being unable to find a job (after graduating from yale) and random musical sequences in the streets.

[Tuckers Law]

Stiff competition.  I don’t think the show itself is the whitest, but there is likely to be no whiter moment in television than Jessie Spano’s caffeine-pill “drug problem” breakdown in Saved by the Bell.  Prove me wrong.

No Becker on the 2014 list, what a snub by the committee

Ted Danson confirmed blackest white-man on television 

[BisMarckie]

Herman‘s Head is a mid major team that could cause an upset.

[Joe Molotov]

I think the true measure of whiteness should be overly praised mediocrity, like Friends.

[CatsCatsCats]

I would like Two and Half Men and Big Bang Theory to be in the brackets

[agrajag]

Grounded For Life should be in there

[TVC15]

Full House is not fucking white. Does Stamos sound like a white last name to you?

[dkdk]

Scrubs.

Even w/ it having multiple prominent non-white characters.

[bluemax]

I haven't watched any of the following:

Modern Family
Literally any Chuck Lorre Sitcom (Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon, the one with Charlie fucking Sheen!)

Get my vote for whitest sitcoms.

[benjipwns]

[benjipwns]

Full House is not fucking white. Does Stamos sound like a white last name to you?

His father was of Greek descent, and his mother was of English, Irish, and German ancestry.

John's paternal grandmother, Adeline Psaras, was born in the United States to Greek immigrants; his paternal grandfather, Ioannis Stamatopoulos, came from the village of Kakouri in the Peloponnese region of Greece and changed the family surname from "Stamatopoulos" to "Stamos" upon arriving in the United States

[TVC15]

I don’t remember voting those pederasts into the race.

[BisMarckie]

Family Matters, overcoming all odds. A real cinderella story.

[CatsCatsCats]

How is Family Ties not on the list?

Age demographics, old man

[bluemax]

Also how did I forget about Home Improvement, with known white supremacist Tim Allen!

[kingv]

I feel like Glee is pretty fucking white.


Ok, I understand it has a diverse cast, but the premise of it it is white as fuck.

[team filler]

 

[recursivelyenumerable]

It started airing in 2000, but since it’s been agreed upon that the 90‘s lasted until 2005 I‘d like to nominate Gilmore Girls

the 00s at least in the US is broken up in my head into:
00-9/10/01: late late 90s
9/11/01-05: superposition of gwot 'mercan proto-fascism + late late 90s mdma extended dance remix
06-07: ? darkest 00s, nobody knows wtf this was, a total mystery.
08-09: pre-early 10s

[recursivelyenumerable]

Like,
The Matrix, FF8, The Phantom Menace: the late 90s
FF9/10: the late late 90s
The Matrix sequels, Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars Ep 2/3: the late late 90s, but it's 3:30 AM, you've been up for 42 hours on amphetamines, the DJ show just ended and you're now wandering the streets until the buses start up again