Asperger's diagnosis?

[Himu]

Have no large updates to share, unfortunately. However, my therapist has shared many tactics for dealing with asperger's symptoms even though we still don't have a formalized diagnosis yet. Things like a planner. I don't why but it's a struggle to do things if I don't see them written down. Each day I plan my schedule for the next day and do it step by step to a tee. It's very assuring and gives me less anxiety being able to go through each day with a strict plan. I struggled with planners growing up. I have issues if someone wants to interject and impede on my set schedule. I get really mad about it. Days that I miss the schedule end up being stressful or depressing, but I feel much more relieved and fulfilled if I get everything done according to my schedule. It's helped build a routine and I find it very calming.

Google Calendar is also amazing for this, which I've ignored all this time. I have it set up so that work shows up every day, and studying is something set to the same time every day. Then I put in stuff in the future. When I'm done studying or something important I scratch it off. It's very rewarding to do all of this. It feels like a game. I am also rewarding myself for doing a good job.

Suffice to say, the month of January was a very productive month. 

I also managed to do all of this without ADHD medicines, adding more to the "I'm not sure if I really have ADHD" theory.

[Himu]

Told my mom I think I was misdiagnosed with ADHD and that I believe I have aspergers. She thinks I may be right.

[thisismyusername]

Good. Did you share your worry about alcohol with them?

[Potato]

Good progress Cindi. Keep at it and it will become habit.

[Himu]

I am struggling not melting down from the political situation. I am writing this in tears. I don't know what to do and very stressee. I am on the verge of a freak out while at work. Please give me suggestions. Nothing from she shosta and stro and each because as much support they give in this thread they're actually snakes that laugh behind your back during a confusing and stressful time. How do I stop being EMOTIONAL?

[Himu]

Okay, I just had a meltdown in my car please help

[Madrun Badrun]

As a Canadian, your political situation makes me very frustrated - and being a Canadian, I have no power over it.  Something I've found to be helpful is to just disengage with it.  There is of course of a question of the ethics of that, especially for someone who is American but if you are having break downs at work over it, then it's not worth it.  I'm going to guess that you feel just as frustrated and disempowered as me over it.  Your mental state is far more valuable than anything you can contribute politically, especially if you already feel like you can not do anything about the situation.  I think a bit of self-care would be to not actively follow it.

I'd view this more as a form of stoicism about your civic duty than a disregard of your civic duty if that makes sense.

[Himu]

I had a meltdown in front of a customer. By meltdown I mean heavy rocking and heavy crying. It was embarrassing but he hugged and comforted me.

[Madrun Badrun]

I had a panic attack last year in a work meeting and nearly bawled.  It was clear to everyone that something was wrong and I had to explain it to one of my supervisors afterwords.  It was super embarrassing.  I then had a pretty major mental break down shortly after and skipped meetings for like the next 5 months. Not that it's the same thing, but you aren't the only one that has embarrassing work moments, if that helps.

[thisismyusername]

You shouldn't let the politics bother you this much. I don't know what is triggering you, but I'm going to assure you (which I know will sound dubious) that you'll be fine.

[shosta]

I was a nervous wreck in 2016/2017. After that I tuned out of the news for like... almost two years... and my neurosis went way, way down. I tuned back in again last year and I got stressed again (although less so). Try to limit your consumption of political news. There's more to life than stuff out of your control.

Also, I didn't know how on edge you were about all this so I will leave you alone from now on, bless up

[OnlyRegret]

I am struggling not melting down from the political situation. I am writing this in tears. I don't know what to do and very stressee. I am on the verge of a freak out while at work. Please give me suggestions. Nothing from she shosta and stro and each because as much support they give in this thread they're actually snakes that laugh behind your back during a confusing and stressful time. How do I stop being EMOTIONAL?

sometimes you need to step back from something if it is stressing you out immensely
not saying to ignore politics, certain threads or whatnot forever but sometimes a break really is needed to remove the stimulus that is causing you great distress

take a break from the politics thread, super tuesday is a whiles off so no point fretting about such stuff everyday

[OnlyRegret]

alternatively, digital realm massacre, if it makes you comfortable

[Himu]

You shouldn't let the politics bother you this much. I don't know what is triggering you, but I'm going to assure you (which I know will sound dubious) that you'll be fine.

It is the Iowa result that's doing it. We were supposed to have it yesterday. Now we were supposed to have it at 5 pm est. Now we still have PARTIAL RESULTS. Meanwhile the country's future is at stake. While all of this is going on, we are dealing with a would be despot as our leader, republicans in the Senate refuse to see new evidence and witnesses in an impeachment trial, some rat fuck from Indiana is doing sketchy things, Trump's approval rating is almost 50%, and more. I am completely maxed out. I could deal if Iowa released FULL RESULTS but I can't. A symptom of Asperger's is an inability to filter emotions. "It isn't a big deal" is beyond unhelpful. I cannot help it.

I also do well on routine. Iowa fucking up MESSES UP THE ROUTINE and causes uncertainty and stress.

[OnlyRegret]

internet is a menace sometimes, boomers who can't open a browser seem so content, so unaware yet blissful

[thisismyusername]

You shouldn't let the politics bother you this much. I don't know what is triggering you, but I'm going to assure you (which I know will sound dubious) that you'll be fine.

It is the Iowa result that's doing it. We were supposed to have it yesterday. Now we were supposed to have it at 5 pm est. Now we still have PARTIAL RESULTS. Meanwhile the country's future is at stake. While all of this is going on, we are dealing with a would be despot as our leader, republicans in the Senate refuse to see new evidence and witnesses in an impeachment trial, some rat fuck from Indiana is doing sketchy things, Trump's approval rating is almost 50%, and more. I am completely maxed out. I could deal if Iowa released FULL RESULTS but I can't. A symptom of Asperger's is an inability to filter emotions. "It isn't a big deal" is beyond unhelpful. I cannot help it.

I also do well on routine. Iowa fucking up MESSES UP THE ROUTINE and causes uncertainty and stress.

Iowa is always a shit-show due to how they do it. I don't know WHY you're letting this bother you so much, since the routine of others shouldn't impress on YOU. If that makes sense. The GOP is the GOP, they're always going to be corrupt mother/father-fuckers and do things that might upset you.

I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid. They certainly are if this is bothering you so much. But routine of others shouldn't impact your well-being. That's why I'm asking why the lack of a routine of others (in this case the Iowa DNC/caucus) is bothering you.

The other stuff is a little out of your control. You can't have Trump Supporters magically drop him no matter what. People are dumb, hun. That's the simple fact, a lot of these fucks will think he shits gold until he leaves the white-house no matter how much he screws them over. The best thing you can do is ignore those folks. Which I know sounds "no shit, Sherlock?" but since it's affecting you in a bad way it's really sound-advice to put Trump's approval rating "out of sight and out of mind" for you. Simply give no fucks about him.

As for iBugregphin or however his name is spelled: We don't really know if the "sketchy things" is true or not. There is links but so far no hard evidence that proves the DNC is rigging things. Don't let this bother you.

I'm not saying it isn't a "big deal." Because it certainly is, and you have valid feelings/anxiety to have. Everyone does: Conservatives do with Trumps impeachment and possible losing of the Presidency or House/Senate this election year.

But I'm more getting at that you should take a deep breath, calm down (in an unoffensive way of putting that as possible). Make a salad/sandwhich/whatever you enjoy, order take-out, shit I dunno. Put a TV show or movie on, or read a book or play a JRPG/video game.  Something that'll let the "lack of routine" pass for you.

With me on that? Ok. So the problem seems to be that things out of your control are bothering you. I can't say as I'm not autistic how this necessarily affects you in this way, but I think your mind is so hyper-focused on things that you can't control that you are jumping over things that you can control. (I can't say if that's 100% true, and I don't mean that in an offensive way or anything. I hope you get what I mean)

Can you tell me why other peoples lack of plans/routine is bothering you?

---
I just realized I'm talking in circles. Basically open up to me on why Iowa is necessarily bothering you with it's lack of routine. The drill-down for that is: Why is other peoples problems impressing on you so much?

[Himu]

Multiple reasons

Because Iowa is important indicator for the nomination and I can't deal with Buttigieg getting the nomination because he's soso boring and and will lose. Iowa is the most important political night of the year next to super Tuesday and election night and they fucked it all up.

The uncertainty and stress caused by the lack of finality. The lack of finality scares me.

Basically it's the influence and importance of the caucus tied with its uncertain, unfinalized result that combined with everything else has become too much to bear.

[thetylerrob]

Cindi, you should get super deep into personality typology. The rabbit hole goes deep, and the more time you spend researching, the more you'll discover about yourself. I've been using it as a destresser lately since there is so much material out there and there's so much basic catharsis to seeing relatable shit online. Plus you get to take fun online tests!!!

[Himu]

Cindi, you should get super deep into personality typology. The rabbit hole goes deep, and the more time you spend researching, the more you'll discover about yourself. I've been using it as a destresser lately since there is so much material out there and there's so much basic catharsis to seeing relatable shit online. Plus you get to take fun online tests!!!

No offense but I have no idea if you're being sarcastic or not

[thisismyusername]

Ok, let's think about it this way.

1)You don't know if Butt is going to get the nomination. None of us do. In theory, the election is fair and people have come around on the gay Neoliberal. It sucks, but that's life. (Just like if Sanders doesn't get it, I'll have to accept that or turn into Glenn 2.0 where the whole world hates me. But that's got nothing to do with you. :p)
2) While Iowa is important, the factors behind it are out of your control. There is nothing you can do about the situation beyond sit-and-wait. Which is shitty advice, I know. But you need to let the process work itself out. The shitshow will subside in a few days...

In the meanwhile:

3) Turn the TV/news off. Completely. Ignore it, turn notifications on your phone about it off. Turn Twitter off, whatever you're using for the news. Turn it off. Focus on you.

Because when it comes down to it:

4) Butt winning Iowa won't mean much in the "big picture" until we see if Black voters hate him as much as they say they do in polls and online/South Bend. If he wins Iowa, that's 1 of 51 states he needs to clench. It's a small matter (and I know that sounds dumb with your anxiety but you hopefully understand what I'm getting at). He may not win any other state, I don't have a crystal ball: I can't assure you of this. But if he does he still has to battle the other 49-down states. Don't let this "set-back" harm your mental state. It sucks, as a Sanders supporter: I get it. But it's not the end of the road until it finally hits that final pavement to the dirt-road (or cliff, depending on how you want to view this metaphor). Put Iowa out of your mind.

Let me get back to: Why is other peoples lack of routine (in this case, Iowa not having fast results) bothering you so much? Take politics out of this, use a friend you know. Say you were going to meet-up but they're late past a time-set that you both agreed on: Would you be as bothered by that as you are about this?

[thetylerrob]

Cindi, you should get super deep into personality typology. The rabbit hole goes deep, and the more time you spend researching, the more you'll discover about yourself. I've been using it as a destresser lately since there is so much material out there and there's so much basic catharsis to seeing relatable shit online. Plus you get to take fun online tests!!!

No offense but I have no idea if you're being sarcastic or not

I'm actually 100% serious, but at the same time, I recognize that typology is unscientific and a lot of people write it off for that reason. It's definitely helped me realize some of my weaknesses to work on though, so I thought you might enjoy it.

[Himu]

Name a nominee that didn't win Iowa in the last twenty years that became president

[OnlyRegret]

Name a nominee that didn't win Iowa in the last twenty years that became president

Donald Trump - 2016

[shosta]

DJT four years ago...

[thisismyusername]

(I'm not Benji: Benji you're the poli-sci here, back me up?)

You're ignoring my point.

You can't say with certainty that Butt will become the presidential candidate. You can't. "Oh, these other election years prove me right," is "prediction thinking." I know this because I have crippling (but functional, as weird as that is to write) depression. I have that shit due to my own life that causes me to go "oh things will never get better. *situation where people treat me like shit happens* See? Things won't get better because this person proves my theory that nobody wants me around right. I should die." Take it from me:

You do not know for sure if he will confirm that or not. You don't. You can scoff and roll your eyes (and I see you doing it right now) but he may be the exception to your rule.

I know, I know. Scoff, I do the same shit with therapy but it's true: You do not know that. You don't. "I do." No the fuck you don't, sweetie. "But, I do." No you don't.

[benjipwns]

[benjipwns]

No Democrat who has won Iowa but gotten less than 35% has won the nomination.

The last three Republican nominees all failed to win Iowa. Donald Trump, George H.W. Bush and Ronald Reagan all failed to win Iowa the year they won the Presidency for the first time.

The only two candidates to ever win Iowa and then go on to win the Presidency for the first time are Barack Obama and George W. Bush. (Jimmy Carter came in second to "Uncommitted.")

No one under the age of 46 has ever won Iowa and then won the Presidency.

[Himu]

I should have further specified. Iowa caucus has predicted the DEMOCRATIC nominee going back almost 30 years. The last time the Iowa winner didn't become the nominee was in 1992 when Tom Harkin won the state with a sizable lead over the eventual nominee Bill Clinton.  That is 28  years so yes I'm scared that Buttigieg will lead to a trend further along.

[thisismyusername]

Again: You don't know that for sure. "BUT TRENDS SA--" Yes, and they have been broken as Benji proves. Just because it's been a 30 year (nearly) trend doesn't mean it can't be broken. Again: Predictive Thinking. Look it up, because you're doing it.

[benjipwns]

He has no national operation, he's hoping an Iowa-NH back-to-back propels him but he's falling apart in NH as Sanders is surging. At this point he's more effectively a stalking horse for Bloomberg's entrance on Super Tuesday.

Pete did what a bunch of the last Iowa winners and runners-up have done, basically lived in the state. That's how Huckabee and Santorum won out of nowhere. Pete led there in the polls for quite a while then may have not even won the vote, just the delegate equivalents. Sanders is projected by NYT to win the vote. And the difference in convention delegates will be like 2. (And that's assuming Pete somehow makes it to the Convention.)

The real story is Biden getting vaporized. His South Carolina firewall will be meaningless if Bernie and Warren close the gap due to Biden crashing and burning out of the gate.

Bloomberg is the threat looming behind Biden, not Pete.

[Trurl]

It's touching to see Benji almost root for a socialist out of love toward another poster.

[benjipwns]

I've not exactly hidden that Sanders has been my preferred candidate for two cycles now.

[thisismyusername]

It's touching to see Benji almost root for a socialist out of love toward another poster.

To quote Taylor Swift:

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/1222713263357616128

[Trurl]

I've not exactly hidden that Sanders has been my preferred candidate for two cycles now.

Ooo

I assumed that you just enjoyed watching everything from a detached point of view.

Did you happen to watch the Reason debate featuring Richard Wolff? He was weirdly angry the whole time and the libertarian debating him reminded me of you.

[Himu]

Thank you benji for the reassurance.

Also I normally don't react this way to politics but we have had a constant stream of events and so much riding on it. It has freaked me out.

[shosta]

I've not exactly hidden that Sanders has been my preferred candidate for two cycles now.

wut

[Trurl]

Nominating Sanders feels like most important political event of my life time (also defeating Trump as a separate issue, but I'm less optimistic for that one).

I get nervous by how successful attacking his supporters seems to be in creating a "you don't want to be like THOSE people" effect. I get a little scared when I see people play into it although it's probably inevitable.

I've donated over $400 at this point.  It's my secret addiction.

But tonight I feel like he's most likely going to win.  Crazy.

[Himu]

[Potato]

Honestly Cindi, I don't know enough about your life to give you specific advice, but just remember that in the years since Trump was elected, there has been very little (if any) direct impact on your life or the lives of most people.

Even if he is re-elected, you will not be directly affected.

It's a shitty situation for everyone and he is having an indirect effect on all of our lives (even those in foreign countries), but you should just worry about the things that are happening in your immediate life that you have direct control over and not about things that you can't directly influence.

Just remember to breathe and things will likely be fine.

[Himu]

TIMU: felt better after playing ff7

Finally something I can control.

[thisismyusername]

Honestly Cindi, I don't know enough about your life to give you specific advice, but just remember that in the years since Trump was elected, there has been very little (if any) direct impact on your life or the lives of most people.

Even if he is re-elected, you will not be directly affected.

It's a shitty situation for everyone and he is having an indirect effect on all of our lives (even those in foreign countries), but you should just worry about the things that are happening in your immediate life that you have direct control over and not about things that you can't directly influence.

Just remember to breathe and things will likely be fine.

For all the bluster about gays and lesbians being put into camps that LGBT do: It hasn't happened. It probably never will, so I wouldn't worry so much about it. Trump's an idiot, and he can't do fascism right.

TIMU: felt better after playing ff7

Finally something I can control.

Good. Don't worry about the primary. The real fight is after that if Sander's doesn't get the nomination because he is really the only candidate that isn't fake (Hello, Liz/Peter) and cares about the working class. So if the DNC, the "working class party" rigs everything because "muh socialism!!!" that's when riots/etc. should happen. But right now the "process" has to turn before we know for sure that things are fucked or not. It's out of your control, essentially. There's nothing we can do beyond vote and "pray" (ugh) about the situation not turning to Peter (or the others) getting the nomination. Otherwise it's not in our control/under our ability to change things.

[Himu]

[team filler]

It's touching to see Benji almost root for a socialist out of love toward another poster.

To quote Taylor Swift:

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/1222713263357616128

they/them/tay

[Himu]

I've closed myself to the world and it honestly feels amazing.

I've got a whole stack of books here. Books, animals, and the news are my friends. Yesterday I read a hundred pages of The Shining. Today I hope to read two hundred.

My whole life I've sought appeasement from outside sources. The past few months I've decided to just appease myself. It honestly feels amazing. I'm in quarantine right now and don't miss a single soul.

Once I finish The Shining I'm going to read The Stand, then War and Peace.

A few weeks ago I had a meltdown over the way the world was headed. But now for some reason I relish reading the news although it's grim. Few people here actually take the virus seriously. The presidebt is threatening governor's to be nice to him or not receive aid. It's helpful to me able to rely on experts. Calming and soothing even if the general populace doesn't care. It's also given me so much reason to live as well. Not for other people, but to do Civic duty.

If I have it, and we do think I do, right now it's amazing. Fuck people.

[Himu]

I rewatched good will hunting the other day and that dude had it wrong. Books lead to happiness, people to disappointment. He should have taken the job instead of going to California tbh.

[team filler]

 

[Rufus]

I rewatched good will hunting the other day and that dude had it wrong. Books lead to happiness, people to disappointment. He should have taken the job instead of going to California tbh.

Don't make any hard conclusions just yet. Give yourself some time, collect more data.

[Himu]

[Transhuman]

It's like you didn't even see Minnie Driver's cheekbones.

[thisismyusername]

I rewatched good will hunting the other day and that dude had it wrong. Books lead to happiness, people to disappointment. He should have taken the job instead of going to California tbh.

But then he wouldn't have had the romance with Minnie Driver, which is what you're missing being an introvert. 

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/arts-entertainment/2013/01/02/good-will-hunting-oral-history/

[Himu]

I'm not an introvert. Introverts also like people and see the value in romance and social relationships. What I said has nothing to do with introversion.

[Himu]

Me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/fwm8qa/people_always_think_we_are_arguing/

people always think we are arguing

It just happened right now.

Literally I said something like "We could double bag that garbage so it won't break with all the glass in it." And people think I am being an asshole or passive-aggressive. All it was, was a suggestion. Then I was told I "said it like a know- it - all smart ass." Of course, people will resort to name-calling. Always ends up blowing up in my face! I don't think I'm right or my way is better, but people perceive it that way... Sucks.

[Himu]

[Positive Touch]

Honestly Cindi, I don't know enough about your life to give you specific advice, but just remember that in the years since Trump was elected, there has been very little (if any) direct impact on your life or the lives of most people.

well this aged about as badly as possible

[Rufus]

Where is the cunt, anyway?

He offered an open ear to anyone recently (maybe his last post even), then he just disappeared.

[Himu]

Last week it was skateboarding because of Tony hawk.

[Transhuman]

(Image removed from quote.)

Last week it was skateboarding because of Tony hawk.

Drop all the non-guitar related pursuits

[remy]

I think I might have either undiagnosed ADHD or Aspergers (high functioning autism?) 

It's been really fucking me up in quarantine/isolation with my partner. i don't fucken know. being around each other 24/7 seems to have exposed all my strange behaviours    i always knew i was a weirdo in some respect, but I've been doing all this reading and convinced myself that there's something more than just weirdo going on here. IDEK.

even if I get diagnosed it's not like you can get treated for autism anyway

[thisismyusername]

What are your "strange behaviors?"

[Trent Dole]

Yeah I'm pretty certain I'm an ADHD type person.