The Fascist pooper 
The fascist is most likely constipated and only poops once a week or perhaps even less.
When the Germans attacked France in WW2 they famously didn't sleep because they were on meth.
But what the history books forgot to mention is that the German war machine also didn't have to stop for number 2.
As the war dragged on this was no longer an advantage but had the opposite effect. Defending Germans were out in the field
trying to poop for so long that they were easy pickings for Russian snipers. We all know how it ended.
Furthermore fascist poopers don't like to talk about their pooping habits and they don't like cleaning either.
They clean the 'visible' parts to seem civilized but they never go all the way with gloves and a brush,
instead they just keep flushing hoping it will improve the situation.
The Conservative pooper 
The conservative pooper is a reliable pooper. When the conservative does his or her business he or she will probably use the
outhouse once a day or once every other day. It is also highly likely that the conservative pooper opts to poop at home as opposed to at work or in a
public place. The conservative pooper will seldom mention pooping unless there is a reason for it. In general conservative poopers keep their
toilets clean. This is the most boring poop group as their poop smells like regular poop. There's probably a calendar in their bathroom for no reason.
Because they don't like a mess they often flush twice. One time to clean out the poop, one time to clean out the toilet paper.
They have bins out of habit but those are strangely empty.
The Libertarian pooper 
The libertarian pooper is somewhat of an odd beast. The frequence of their business is somewhat between conservative and liberal.
What sets apart the libertarian pooper is that they like to poop in places where or when you probably shouldn't poop. Take a libertarian to a
kids play and yup, he has to poop. Whenever you think: "Boy I sure hope no one is going to do number 2" they always will.
They also tend to have the running shits. It smells horrible too because they want you to know they pooped. For shits and giggles they flush a few times more.
They have no bins, there's probably a trash bag crumpled on the floor.
The Liberal pooper 
The liberal pooper poops more than the conservative pooper. Probably close to twice a day. The liberal pooper doesn't mind pooping in a public place or at work
as long as it is clean enough to do their business. In fact the liberal pooper is more likely to poop at work 'in the time of the boss'. The liberal poopers
also use their phones a lot while pooping. Often after they're done pooping they are still glued to their phones reading about the new Lizzy McGuirre reboot on
Disney+ or watching a Mike Bloomberg advertisement before their favorite YouTube show begins. The famous 'I dropped my phone in the bowl'.
The soap pump probably looks like a frog or another cute animal for no reason.
They flush e v e r y t h i n g so their toilets are often clogged up.
The Socialist pooper 
Socialists believe everything should be equal. So they poop three times a day. One time for every meal. Probably the same ammount too.
Because they are sometimes on strange vegan diets the smell is often awful. Socialist tend to get emotional when they poop and make the most
noise. Which is weird because unlike the fascist they don't push out chunks and shells. Their cleaning habits leave a lot of be desired.
They use the cheapest brand toilet paper and they try to clean less to preserve the environment. They don't flush toilet paper for that reason and keep it in a bin
which they stuff to the brim. In the houses of the rare 'classic' socialists you sometimes find old news papers, comic books or some other type of recycled paper instead of toilet paper.
They sometimes use their own poop as fertilizer without telling anyone.
The Anarchist pooper 
The anarchist pooper is the wildest pooper of them all. Them doesn't shit once or twice a day. There isn't any system to their pooping habits.
Whenever feces is thrown at the police it is the anarchist poopers that do it. They use poop for ammo and some say they even eat poop or at least considered eating poop.
Whenever you visit the dwelling of an anarchist pooper it looks like the bathroom hardly gets any use. The basic cleaning materials are there and it looks like a bathroom but it is clearly
for guests only. Anarchist poopers however, love to leave a scene outside their homes. A toilet covered in toilet paper, shit on the walls, piss across the sink, poop in the urinal.
The nastier the better as they fight the oppresion of the machine and you seldom catch them in the act. You are left wondering if Larry from accounting or David from sales is the anarchist
but it always turns out to be Susan from the second floor which no one dares to bring up so they put up notes for her to shit on.
The Party pooper 
The party pooper is the one that enjoys pooping the most. The party pooper is likely to bring up pooping at parties (hence the name).
When someone starts a conversation with: "OH, I'm so relieved!" you know you're stuck with one. Their toilets are a party too.
Weird trinklets, perhaps a Buddha stuffed somewhere. Bright colors, even toilet paper with markings of flowers.
Because the party pooper has no problems pooping it is hard for them to relate with people who do. For that reason supplies
for the less fortunate poopers are slim. They're usually down to their last sheet of printed toilet paper or have a toilet
with a very weak flushing mechanism. Leaving especially fascist poopers in a state of panic.
So there you have it. Which type of pooper are you?
