i may be sick at home, it's midday and i haven't got out of bed yet but also im kinda particularly fascinated by this whole thing because i grew up in rural new zealand with a māori mother and a pakeha father spending a lot of time on marae and involved with the community then moved to the city when i was 15 where i lost all that and understand how that ignorant hate and confusion with identity can fester. i don't think i truly acknowledged how damaging and fucked up colonisation was until my early - mid 20s. before that māori was just an annoying language my mother tried to make me learn, but i didn't see the point and neither did any of my friends that were māori and pasifika. alongside being an extremely online kid that developed weird kinks and spent a lot of time in chat rooms and did stuff i'd be embarrassed as hell about now, i empathize with her situ. she's 24.
