With Amash and Ventura dropping out, the field is becoming more clear. Let's take a look at America's finest.
These 5 candidates are currently the most likely to get their party nomination.
For this election season Nintex Polling LLC is Introducing the 'Minor-meter' and 'Rapey-meter' which indicates how likely a candidate is a pedophile or rapist.
As the smear campaigns progress the meters will be adjusted to the latest collected data. If candidates die or decide not to run they can also be replaced. In this exciting year any candidate could be replaced before voting begins.
Joseph R. Biden (D)
Joe Biden or 'Uncle Joe' was Obama's well liked Vice President and also sat in the Senate a lot. For all his gaffe's he helped Obama to push through Obamacare and always tried to give the President the best advice he could. Lately he doesn't seem as sharp and witty as he used to be. He's waiting in his basement for the lock down to end or simply waiting in his basement. Still, don't rule out Biden and his potential clout among African American voters and especially the elderly. A field of Democratic contenders underestimated Joe at their own peril. He may not know anything about running a digital campaign but he knows the Electoral Map and how to appeal to hearts and minds. Shame he might've been a rapist and pedophile though. If he kept that hidden for so long imagine what else Joe has up his sleeve in terms of secret weapons to upend his own campaign.
Rapey-meter: 3/5
Minor-meter: 4/5
Donald J. Trump (R)
'The Donald' is still in office near the end of his first term. A thing absolutely no one including Trump himself expected. Another thing no one expected is that he would make it through the Russia investigation, Impeachment and his current marriage whilst in the Oval Office. Directing and Producing his own reality TV show from the White House has gained him fans and critics. At first he was on tcrack to make 'America Great Again' with a booming economy and love letters to Kim Jun Un. Now, during a pandemic his sarcasm and bluster are not well received. Yet at the same time the freedom loving people seek his guidance to liberate the United States from the Kung Flu and CNN to 'Make America Great Again, Again'. Perhaps the only incumbent who can run on the same promise twice. Even though Trump is the GOP candidate, he is hardly a Republican or conservative. The R next to his name most likely refers to his perfect score on the 'rapey-meter'.
Rapey-meter: 5/5
Minor-meter: 3/5
Howie Hawkins (G)
This could've been a sure bet like Jesse Ventura but the Green Party or rather GRU Party picked an old socialist to represent them. A poor mans Bernie Sanders who likes trees a lot.
I'll be honest, I don't know much about this man. He seems nice and not a rapist which is a plus in this crowded field of known abusers.
Rapey-meter: 1/5
Minor-meter: 2/5
Dave Portnoy (I)
Now that Elon Musk has endorsed Portnoy he's suddenly a viable contender after a Twitter rant about the Corona lock down. Having already increased his presence on Fox News and other television channels the 'Presidente' of Barstools could soon become the President of the United States. It is unknown if he has ever sexually assaulted anybody including minors. If the independents and wank dads finally come together around an independent candidate, Portnoy has a better shot at winning than someone like Mark Cuban or Michael Bloomberg would have. He has not officially announced his candidacy so the 'rapey-meter' and 'minor-meter' data are incomplete at this point. Don't worry though, he certainly looks like an adulterer at best and a serial killer at worst so if he announces dirt will soon follow.
Rapey-meter: 2/5
Minor-meter: 1/5
Vermin Supreme (L)
The guy with the boot on his head is still going strong. He's a libertarian which earned him a perfect score on the 'minor-meter'. Still, don't rule out Supreme. He has shown himself to be a quite capable candidate and has years of experience running for office.
Will he finally get elected as President? Weirder things have happened, like President Trump.
Rapey-meter: 2/5
Minor-meter: 5/5
Today's polling question is simple:
Who can count on your support in the 2020 Election?
Feel free to elaborate why you think your candidate is the best fit to lead the United States of America.
Disclaimer: By participating in this poll your vote will be recorded for the purpose of research in voter behavior.
Poll
