Do you really think people forget a baby was in their car?

[ToxicAdam]

I was sitting in an auto repair place, waiting for my car to get fixed and on the television came a story of yet another infant that died in a hot car. The attendant and I get into a discussion about how unimaginable the event is, yet it happens every summer. Sometimes multiple times.

I said, there was never a moment in my child's life where I wasn't aware they were in the vehicle. Especially in the early years. It was like a searing hot coal in my brain. There wouldn't be enough booze or medication to make me forget either.  He agreed and thinks it's mostly people that are intentionally killing their kid and trying to make it look like an accident. They get the idea from the knowledge of it happening elsewhere so it looks like a plausible excuse (in their diminished mental state).

That seemed like the reason to me, but we as a society are too polite to call these people (premeditated) baby murderers. Just assume their grief is punishment enough and then go about our lives.

Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe someone can be so consumed with narcissism and anxiety that they can forget other human life. Maybe they are just lazy parents that got used to leaving babies in cars and one day they pushed it too far.

[jorma]

i don't have kids so i don't really know what to think. you and some dude who works in an auto shop says you can't, while professors in psychiatry says it could absolutely happen to anybody - and then they lay the reasons why out in a very orderly and easy to understand way.

not sure who to believe here

[Madrun Badrun]

I don't know.  Shosta how many of your posts are cries for help from the backseat on a hot day? 

[Himu]

I don't have a kid but I have had a dog and when we went on trips I never for a second forgot that dog was in my car while I was in the store. It was like a ticking time bomb, and this was with the window down too.

[ToxicAdam]

i don't have kids so i don't really know what to think. you and some dude who works in an auto shop says you can't, while professors in psychiatry says it could absolutely happen to anybody - and then they lay the reasons why out in a very orderly and easy to understand way.

not sure who to believe here

I can get my mind wrapped around a lot of deviant behavior. I can understand how someone gets to a place mentally where they want to kill someone else, have a relationship with a minor, become an addict or take their own life.

But I can't get to one where you forget your child is in a car. It's like saying you forgot to breathe or eat.  So, I have to assume there are other motives going on here and was wondering if people felt the same way.

[Brehvolution]

In a sleep deprived state, especially for a single mother, it ups the chances. But if it's that bad, they shouldn't be driving in the first place.

[Transhuman]

I forget about food that i've put in the oven all the time, and I care way more about pastries than I do about some kids life

[T-Short]

I actually saw a documentary about this at the film festival here in 2017, The Death Of A Child. Before I watched it, I also had the view that the parents who do this must be grossly negligent and not have their lives togeher, but I was sort of shocked by how “normal” all the families were.

The directors came into contact with the families through a support network in the US, and then roadtripped around and stayed with the families for a while.

Not sure about US distro of this, but I recommend watching it if you can.

[Stoney Mason]

I don't have kids.

And part of the reason for that is I see a lot of bad parents and if I'm being honest, I wasn't sure that I could have been a good one myself for multiple reasons so I never had the desire to have one.

Of course I'd like to think I'd never leave something so utterly important as a child in a hot car but I've definitely forgotten lots of simple important shit so I can't speak from a position of universal certainty, that it would be impossible. I would like to think I wouldn't but I've honestly had a fairly simple easy life by comparison to some people and haven't had to experience a lot of stressful stuff.

[jorma]

i don't have kids so i don't really know what to think. you and some dude who works in an auto shop says you can't, while professors in psychiatry says it could absolutely happen to anybody - and then they lay the reasons why out in a very orderly and easy to understand way.

not sure who to believe here

I can get my mind wrapped around a lot of deviant behavior. I can understand how someone gets to a place mentally where they want to kill someone else, have a relationship with a minor, become an addict or take their own life.

But I can't get to one where you forget your child is in a car. It's like saying you forgot to breathe or eat.  So, I have to assume there are other motives going on here and was wondering if people felt the same way.

i absolutely get the feeling that "it could never happen to me, because.."
but it's just not true, your brain isn't wired differently from any other parent and it could happen to you too, if your normal schedule is upended for some reason but your brain is still on autopilot because you still do the things you do everyday.

just google it, i didn't feel it was that hard to understand. there are literally thousands of websites that will explain what goes down in your brain when it happens.

[Akala]

like most things with people can't really make a blanket statement? I have seen enough parents who give absolutely zero fucks about their kids to believe it's plausible without some ulterior motive. for whatever reason lots do not put the lives of their children above their own.

one can argue narcissism, id, intent, etc., but I tend to err on side of crap parent.

*edit* I am not discounting honest mistakes and actually think the 'auto-pilot' thing could totally be plausible, at least for myself.

[Steve Contra]

In college I was a valet at a Marriot in downtown Salt Lake City right next to the Mormon temple and their massive conference hall where there general conference was held. During that time the hotel was full of very white out of town Mormons with all their huge families. I parked a huge suv for a family with 5 kids. Sure enough as I was backing into the parking space I turned around and in the back row was a baby strapped into a car seat. I had to call a bellhop to go find them and the moon came out and didn’t even act like is a huge deal. So yeah, people forget kids in cars.

[Transhuman]

I never had the view that they are bad parents. There was this one story I heard about where the father would take the kid to daycare on some days, and the mother the other days, and they had to change it up because there was a scheduling conflict, and because the drive to the daycare was mostly the same as his route to work, the father got caught up in routine and just forgot the baby was in the back and went to work and then dead baby. The punishment is probably worse than the crime tbh. Having to live with what you did must be like hell on earth.

[Akala]

*nvm*

nit picking about dead babies isn't how I am going to spend my lunch. 

[Nintex]

I can certainly see it happening.
Some people are just not well organized.

Just think about all those times someone said: I'll be back in 5 and didn't return for hours or completely forgot their commitment.

[Transhuman]

Maybe Anton Yelchin crushed himself to death on purpose too.

[bork]

I don't have a kid but I have had a dog and when we went on trips I never for a second forgot that dog was in my car while I was in the store. It was like a ticking time bomb, and this was with the window down too.

This.  I also have habit of always looking back to make sure I didn't forget anything when I leave the car. 

[EchoRin]

Sure. People have their stories of "oops I drove off without my kid after their sports event and had to turn around after a minute after I realized something was off"

[bork]

Sure. People have their stories of "oops I drove off without my kid after their sports event and had to turn around after a minute after I realized something was off"

Not quite as bad as leaving an infant in the car to die.  But I wouldn't want to think about what happens to the people who forget their kid, then turn around and the kid is just gone. 

[EchoRin]

Sure. People have their stories of "oops I drove off without my kid after their sports event and had to turn around after a minute after I realized something was off"

Not quite as bad as leaving an infant in the car to die.  But I wouldn't want to think about what happens to the people who forget their kid, then turn around and the kid is just gone. 

Well, shit man.

I was going only for the happy ending and you turn this into the music video for Soul Asylum's Runaway Train.

[bork]

My parents forgot me once, but it was OK since in that case, this was leaving me at home- it was my brother's bar mitzvah and everyone jumped in their cars to go to the synagogue at the same time.  I was upstairs, came down to find the house empty except for two uncles who stayed there to watch some of the little kids- this was way before cell phones were common so nobody was keeping tabs.  Was pretty happy about it because I got to miss all that boring shit, lol.  Went to go play NES and then was bummed when someone came back to get me. 

[Transhuman]

I honestly expected a lot more empathy and understanding on this. I guess you actually need to listen to one of these parents talk about it before you get it.

[Madrun Badrun]

My mom forgot me once, then I beat off two burglars with the old slippery stair case and scalding-hot door handle.

[EchoRin]

My mom forgot me once, then I beat off two burglars with the old slippery stair case and scalding-hot door handle.

Wow. I didn't know Albert Einstein posted on The Bore. Bless up

[Tasty]

What's the point in judging people you've never met based on info you barely know?

Genuinely a waste of time and energy.

[ToxicAdam]

Isn't that what we're doing on the internet all day long? Read a story about someone (or a group of people) in some far-flung part of the world, make judgements on them based on limited information.


 

[Tasty]

Nah I stick to the good vibes and anime gif threads mostly.

Cutting out the media-fueled outrage hamster wheel from my life improved my mental health in a noticeable way, I highly recommend it to others.

[T-Short]

I honestly expected a lot more empathy and understanding on this. I guess you actually need to listen to one of these parents talk about it before you get it.

I want to rewatch this now just from watching the trailer

[EightBitNate]

Bitches burn little Jimmy to a crisp and then be like “it’s not my fault! I’m a libra!”

[daemon]

I was sitting in an auto repair place, waiting for my car to get fixed and on the television came a story of yet another infant that died in a hot car. The attendant and I get into a discussion about how unimaginable the event is, yet it happens every summer. Sometimes multiple times.

I said, there was never a moment in my child's life where I wasn't aware they were in the vehicle. Especially in the early years. It was like a searing hot coal in my brain. There wouldn't be enough booze or medication to make me forget either.  He agreed and thinks it's mostly people that are intentionally killing their kid and trying to make it look like an accident. They get the idea from the knowledge of it happening elsewhere so it looks like a plausible excuse (in their diminished mental state).

That seemed like the reason to me, but we as a society are too polite to call these people (premeditated) baby murderers. Just assume their grief is punishment enough and then go about our lives.

Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe someone can be so consumed with narcissism and anxiety that they can forget other human life. Maybe they are just lazy parents that got used to leaving babies in cars and one day they pushed it too far.

Get a few weeks of 2-4 hours of good sleep per night and then maybe, maybe you can actually see why someone would cross the fact that they already dropped their kid where they were supposed to. I feel there's money to be made, however, if they sold something that lets you know that the baby is in when the car is turned off completely. A recursive sound that reminds you instantly. it does exist.

because some people know their child is with them because the baby is yelling, crying, a lot of the time. Then when there's silence their brain can associate it with the lack of baby. Pavlovian stuff yo.

[ToxicAdam]

I was sitting in an auto repair place, waiting for my car to get fixed and on the television came a story of yet another infant that died in a hot car. The attendant and I get into a discussion about how unimaginable the event is, yet it happens every summer. Sometimes multiple times.

I said, there was never a moment in my child's life where I wasn't aware they were in the vehicle. Especially in the early years. It was like a searing hot coal in my brain. There wouldn't be enough booze or medication to make me forget either.  He agreed and thinks it's mostly people that are intentionally killing their kid and trying to make it look like an accident. They get the idea from the knowledge of it happening elsewhere so it looks like a plausible excuse (in their diminished mental state).

That seemed like the reason to me, but we as a society are too polite to call these people (premeditated) baby murderers. Just assume their grief is punishment enough and then go about our lives.

Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe someone can be so consumed with narcissism and anxiety that they can forget other human life. Maybe they are just lazy parents that got used to leaving babies in cars and one day they pushed it too far.

Get a few weeks of 2-4 hours of good sleep per night and then maybe, maybe you can actually see why someone would cross the fact that they already dropped their kid where they were supposed to. I feel there's money to be made, however, if they sold something that lets you know that the baby is in when the car is turned off completely. A recursive sound that reminds you instantly. it does exist.

because some people know their child is with them because the baby is yelling, crying, a lot of the time. Then when there's silence their brain can associate it with the lack of baby. Pavlovian stuff yo.

I have twins, you don’t have to inform me about sleep deprivation.

[BisMarckie]

Define forgetting. 

Because if I am just paying for gas, I am not going through the whole ordeal of getting my kid out and back in the car.. Wouldn‘t do it with my youngest though and obviously not in blistering heat.

[Madrun Badrun]

My mom forgot me once, then I beat off two burglars with the old slippery stair case and scalding-hot door handle.

Damn you jerked off two strange men?

I have a weak left hand with arthritis which makes my fingers crooked and staggered.  My right has a super strong grip to compensate.

[Steve Contra]

My mom forgot me once, then I beat off two burglars with the old slippery stair case and scalding-hot door handle.

Damn you jerked off two strange men?

i thought that was part of the registration process here? Or was I tricked???

[VomKriege]

My mom forgot me once, then I beat off two burglars with the old slippery stair case and scalding-hot door handle.

Car Alone : I can't breathe, a dark and gritty drama take on the family classic.