Eurovision 2022

[Potato]

I'm just catching up on the semi-finals right now.

Some thoughts so far on semi-final 1

• Albanian girl is thicc
• Latvia is channeling epic sax guy crossed with The Wiggles
• Lithuania was boring. Sounded like a rejected James Bond song
• Switzerland's song was "nice", but probably not a Eurovision song
• Slovenia was boring. Discount store Jamiroquai
• Ukraine was about as Eastern European as it gets.
• Bulgaria meh
• Netherlands. Could she be any more Dutch? Good song
• Moldova. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more eastern European than Ukraine, Moldova said "hold my beer"
• Portugal. Nice song, cute singer
• Croatia. See Portugal
• Denmark was a good song, but needed a better vocalist.
• Austria we need to have a chat. No one asked for shitty 90s techno pop to be revived. Go home please.
• Iceland. I'm a sucker for folk songs played by hot Scandinavian women, so I like it, but PLAY YAYA DING DONG!!!
• Greek song was ok.
• Norway channeling their inner furries.
• Armenia, your song is boring, the singer is very average looking and your stage show was terrible. This is Eurovision, you need two out of the three to make an impact.

Anyone else give a shit?

[Potato]

On to semi-final 2

• Finland song is very much modern Eurovision bait. Rock/pop hybrid garbage
• Israel pulled this song straight out of a 90s gay club
• Serbia went full Balkan. Never go full Balkan.
• Azerbaijan Great song, but if you're going to name your song Fade to Black, you better be channeling some serious Metallica otherwise you're going to disappoint.
• Georgia was peak Eurovision. It's why I tune in every year. Sadly it's a disappearing art.
• Malta rarely disappoints. Cute girl and good song
• San Marino is the musical equivalent of what happens when you run a sentence through Google translate multiple times. Just with 80s glam/cock rock instead of words.
• Australia. I maintain my firm opposition to Australia competing in Eurovision. It was funny as a one off, now it's just fucking embarrassing.
• Cyprus. Pretty standard Greek pop song. Entertaining but will probably not catch the attention of the white people
• Ireland...Jesus Christ. If you're not going to give me a good song, please give me a hot ginger bird with freckles.
• Not Macedonia was forgettable
• Estonian country music. I like it. Weird, but I like it.
• Romania going full Spanish...and rolling out the man meat is proper Eurovision
• Polish dude can sing. Why's he slumming it in Eurovision?
• Montenegro was like a time machine back to Eurovision circa 2004
• Belgium. I was just waiting and waiting for the song to actually take off and it never did. Simple and repetitive and not in a good way
• Sweden song was ok but it feels like they've been putting the same song in for decades (I'm probably wrong here).
• Czech Republic with another throwback to early 2000s Eurovision style. I think we're a few years off this being relevant yet.

The "big 5"

• Italian song is pretty good, but pretty much Eurovision bait
• Spain sends a singer/actor and she's got a fantastic outfit
• UK song is ok, but still going to get zero points
• Germany continues to rely on imports. Generic song.
• France song is terrible

[Potato]

Semi-final 2 was definitely the stronger one.

In the absence of any decent metal or metal-adjacent, my vote goes to Estonia.

[Nintex]

Ukraine will win by default.

This used to be a quite popular event in Russia too.
In the Netherlands it's mostly boomers and gay people that watch this.

[John Dunbar]

Those Romanian dancers. 

[John Dunbar]

Ukraine will have a difficult time losing this, but this song just might pull it off.

[Potato]

I hope they don't get the pity vote, but they will.

It would be very Eurovision if they do win though

[Potato]

In a just world, Moldova would win this.

[John Dunbar]

If Ukraine doesn't take it, it's a tough call this year. I don't think there's a clear favourite. I imagine Sweden will do well with the juries though.

I prefer Spain tho.

[Potato]

Estonia is my favourite song. Spain my favourite costume. Moldova my favourite group.

[John Dunbar]

Juries are as horny as I am. Twelve points raining on Spain.

[Potato]

Absolutely shocked the UK is getting votes and could win

[John Dunbar]

Juries are killing Moldova. I'm sure they will do way better with the televote.

[Potato]

Lol, peak Eurovision

[Potato]

439 points for Ukraine from the public. Lol.

[John Dunbar]

Should have put money on Ukraine. Never a safer bet.

[jorma]

so uk would have won for the first time in forever but got fucked by russia 

[Potato]

Ukraine got so many public votes that it's impossible to say who would have won if the votes were redistributed in a meaningful way.

[Nintex]

I hope Putin shoots himself tonight when he realizes literally everyone in Europe is against his dumb ass.

[jorma]

Ukraine got so many public votes that it's impossible to say who would have won if the votes were redistributed in a meaningful way.

yeah, true
i'm thinking spain would have won in the end

[Nintex]

France and Germany really need to start working on their image

[Potato]

Ukraine got so many public votes that it's impossible to say who would have won if the votes were redistributed in a meaningful way.

yeah, true
i'm thinking spain would have won in the end

Spain won in all of our pants

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Although, I think Romania pipped it for the gay folk

[close]

[Raist]

I'm not sure how discount Chris Hemsworth channeling his inner Ed Sheeran got 2nd place but OK.