Author Topic: Final Indiana Jones Release Date: May 22, 2008 (Read 8351 times)

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #60 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:38:10 PM »

Quote from: Willco on February 07, 2007, 12:35:35 PM

WTF that scene is awful. Let's cram a bunch of exposition that should've been fleshed out over the entire trilogy into one distinguished mentally-challenged CG-filled sequence and in one swoop, bring back the dreaded M-word (midichlorians are the dumbest fucking thing ever).

I got my attention actually. Yea the idea was pretty stupid, but I found that story more interesting than any of the action in the movie

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #61 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:38:58 PM »

AotC failed as a movie on pretty much every level. TPM, for all of its gross flaws, has a campy charm and feels like some sort of dopey sci-fi Muppet romp with a killer soundtrack. If you don't treat it like a Star Wars movie and instead regard it as, I dunno, The CG Dark Crystal in Space, it's vaguely -- very vaguely -- charming.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #62 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:39:58 PM »

I disagree on ESB. Mark Hamill's acting noticeably improved, and Ford was a shining spot. Only Carrie Fisher was fringe, but that was more her dialogue than anything else (and she nailed it when it matted - "I love you." "I know."). All of the supporting characters rocked and the story was good fun.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #63 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:41:17 PM »

AOTC was pretty horrible. I almost got kicked out of the theatre when I saw it for heckling it.

Drinky is right about TPM.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #64 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:41:37 PM »

Empire Strikes Back is classic.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #65 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:42:33 PM »

Good fun doesn't make a good movie -- it just makes you a good nerd. And I disagree on Ford -- I thought he was fairly wooden throughout all three movies, but I've always considered him to be pretty subpar as actors go. Even in my precious Raiders I still feel the movie succeeds in spite of him rather than because of him.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #66 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:42:43 PM »

Whoa now. Empire Strikes Back is pretty good, but a classic? C'mon.

I think with the last two prequels, nothing with Star Wars on the cover can even be considered remotely a classic.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #67 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:46:03 PM »

RotS felt like a bunch of shitty videogame cutscenes strung together and poorly-edited.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #68 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:46:45 PM »

Quote from: Willco on February 07, 2007, 12:42:43 PM

Whoa now. Empire Strikes Back is pretty good, but a classic? C'mon.

I think with the last two prequels, nothing with Star Wars on the cover can even be considered remotely a classic.

10/10

Perfectly paced. While the acting isn't great, it's competant and you some of the lines are so awesome they can't be ruined. Plus it's the ultamite 2nd act in a trilogy because it sets up the 3rd perfectly. It leaves you with many cliff hangers that don't feel contrived or weak.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #69 on:** February 07, 2007, 12:47:37 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on February 07, 2007, 12:46:03 PM

RotS felt like a bunch of shitty videogame cutscenes strung together and poorly-edited.

Amen.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #70 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:03:34 PM »

PD, ESB does have the pacing on its side, but some of those lines are pure drippy cheese ("nerf herder" et al). I suppose your preference for ESB (and the OT in general) depends entirely on the level of sophistication you demand from your cinema.

Cheebs · « **Reply #71 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:05:00 PM »

AOTC had ONE scene I liked even though I find it the worst of the SW films. There is one scene in the movie I to this day find fun and enjoyable.

It is the one when Anakin and Padme get to that bug planet and have to for some reason go through that droid factory thing and kept having to deal with outrageous stuff.

It reminded me of the death star stuff in ANH and was fun. That is the only thing in the movie to put a smile on my face.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #72 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:13:48 PM »

RotS was the most entertaining of the prequel films, though TPM was the best in a techincal sense (aside from puppet Yoda...

). There's no way you can tell me TPM entertained you more than RotS without having me laugh in your face. An hour of masturbatory pod-racing? No thanks.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #73 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:16:02 PM »

Every minute I spent watching RotS was a moment I spent praying for death, so unless you consider suicidal thoughts "entertaining", then no, RotS was NOT more entertaining than TPM.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #74 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:26:20 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on February 07, 2007, 01:03:34 PM

PD, ESB does have the pacing on its side, but some of those lines are pure drippy cheese ("nerf herder" et al). I suppose your preference for ESB (and the OT in general) depends entirely on the level of sophistication you demand from your cinema.

It's not about sophistication; it's fucking Star Wars. It does what he sets out to do very nicely, and it's one of the most influencial franchises in movie history.

Of course some of the lines are cheesy. But after watching the movie again it's impressive how great a lot of the writing actually is. People seem to forget that the movies were Lucas' homage to fuckin FLASH GORDON

If you want amazing acting and perfect writing go watch To Kill a Mockingbird (

). Star Wars shouldn't be judged as strictly as those types of movies. Cheese is cheese, but still...the movie wasn't meant to be some great accomplishment in acting.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #75 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:34:28 PM »

it's influential not from any directorial perspective, but because NERDS LATCH ONTO SCI-FI. Hell, its fandom is more notorious than any of the many generic directorial techniques Lucas employed in the movie.

And the writing is pure pulp -- again, it's inspirational to nerds, much as Flash Gordon and the serials of the 50s were inspirational to Lucas, but in terms of influencing the development of cinema (outside of demonstrating that a certain significant audience will go apeshit for sci-fi)? It's largely useless. It's the Final Fantasy of its era.

Cheebs · « **Reply #76 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:42:41 PM »

Quote from: The Dark Shake on February 07, 2007, 01:13:48 PM

RotS was the most entertaining of the prequel films, though TPM was the best in a techincal sense (aside from puppet Yoda... ). There's no way you can tell me TPM entertained you more than RotS without having me laugh in your face. An hour of masturbatory pod-racing? No thanks.

That is how I feel. TPM is the better film but ROTS is more entertaining.

Also remember for the DVD Lucas EXTENDED the pod-race by a extra 10 min.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #77 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:49:46 PM »

TPM had a dumb charm that kept me moderately engaged despite my endless eye-rolling and wincing. It didn't even seem like a Star Wars movie.

RotS, on the other hand, wasn't even remotely entertaining -- it was an endless pastiche of dry, dreadful, and unpleasantly ridiculous scenes of the sort untalented comic book and videogaming nerds might visualize if they were given access to an SGI render farm. OMG FOUR LIGHTSABERS! I'VE GOT THE HIGH GROUND! FORCE BATTLE! PALPATINE GRANDSTANDING! ORDER 88! YODA FLIPPIN' OUT DOIN' HOP AND BOP LIKE MARIO! BOSS FIGHTS GALORE! LIZARD RIDIN' MINI-GAME! INCOHERENT SPACE BATTLE! NATALIE PORTMAN SO PRETTY AND INNOCENT LIKE AERIS! TRANSFORMERS! LAVA STAGE! PLATFORMIN' ACTION! OMG OMG OMG!

RotS is ManaByte the Movie.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #78 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:56:08 PM »

Cheebs · « **Reply #79 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:56:57 PM »

what amazes me is what happened from TPM to AOTC. TPM did have tons of CGI but it had REAL sets and REAL locations and scenes with not much cgi(excluding Jar Jar). But AOTC and ROTS were like 3 humans standing on a green screen with every thing else being cgi for the entire movies.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #80 on:** February 07, 2007, 02:00:56 PM »

Quote from: Cheebs on February 07, 2007, 01:56:57 PM

what amazes me is what happened from TPM to AOTC. TPM did have tons of CGI but it had REAL sets and REAL locations and scenes with not much cgi(excluding Jar Jar). But AOTC and ROTS were like 3 humans standing on a green screen with every thing else being cgi for the entire movies.

That's why I hated them. One of the reasons LOTR felt so fresh is because of the beautiful locations in which it was shot; that can't be replicated on a green screen. Sadly Jackson followed the Lucas playbook with Kong, which featured too many green screen scenes.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #81 on:** February 07, 2007, 02:01:44 PM »

Quote from: Cheebs on February 07, 2007, 01:56:57 PM

what amazes me is what happened from TPM to AOTC. TPM did have tons of CGI but it had REAL sets and REAL locations and scenes with not much cgi(excluding Jar Jar). But AOTC and ROTS were like 3 humans standing on a green screen with every thing else being cgi for the entire movies.

qft

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #82 on:** February 07, 2007, 02:39:40 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on February 07, 2007, 01:49:46 PM

TPM had a dumb charm that kept me moderately engaged despite my endless eye-rolling and wincing. It didn't even seem like a Star Wars movie.

RotS, on the other hand, wasn't even remotely entertaining -- it was an endless pastiche of dry, dreadful, and unpleasantly ridiculous scenes of the sort untalented comic book and videogaming nerds might visualize if they were given access to an SGI render farm. OMG FOUR LIGHTSABERS! I'VE GOT THE HIGH GROUND! FORCE BATTLE! PALPATINE GRANDSTANDING! ORDER 88! YODA FLIPPIN' OUT DOIN' HOP AND BOP LIKE MARIO! BOSS FIGHTS GALORE! LIZARD RIDIN' MINI-GAME! INCOHERENT SPACE BATTLE! NATALIE PORTMAN SO PRETTY AND INNOCENT LIKE AERIS! TRANSFORMERS! OMG OMG OMG!

RotS is ManaByte the Movie.

This is so accurate.

Cheebs · « **Reply #83 on:** February 07, 2007, 02:46:31 PM »

The whole yoda vs. palpatine fight while pretty seemed to have no logically reason for being there nor did grevious. So much of ROTS didn't move the plot and then in the last half hour they rush everything so they can tie up all the loose ends before ANH.

I mean wtf at the force ghost explanation. It was just randomly yoda telling obi-wan without any context "qui-gon is back he'll teach you stuff after this movie bye" it was so confusing.

Edit: I realize Liam had a scene in the script for ROTS but when he wouldn't do the film it kinda of messed stuff up but still Lucas could have still done SOMETHING else other than a quick throwaway line.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #84 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:00:18 PM »

So both Drinky and Willco prove their poor taste when it comes to Star Wars films, excellent.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #85 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:04:23 PM »

I think the best cut bit of dialogue, in terms of horribleness, is that Palpatine tells Anakin that he conceived him with the midichlorians and they use almost the exact same dialogue from the Vader/Luke confrontation in ESB ("Search your feelings, you know it to be true").

None of the movie makes sense. None of the action sequences carry any weight or progress the story. It hardly ties up any loose ends, and if anything else, introduces more loose ends.

The Padme death sequence was distinguished mentally-challenged. So, physically she's fine, but emotionally she's so depressed she dies? Wow, what a great mother - it's obvious she gives a shit about her kids. The Vader sequence gave birth to the laughable, "NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOO!" Then Padme shits out the two kids and gives them names with her dying breath, which apparently Leia remembers (I've had Star Wars nerds explain this off as force sensitive crap).

The dumbest thing is that Yoda is there for the birth, but seemingly forgot about Leia in Empire 'till ghost Obi-Wan goes, "No, there is another..."

Or the fact they put Luke on Tatooine.

Or that Yoda basically gives up in the Palaptine duel, when he's got a clear advatange, only to crawl away and go, "To exile I go, see you bitches in Empire."

Who movie is fucking dumb and full of shitty writing.

Quote from: The Dark Shake on February 07, 2007, 03:00:18 PM

So both Drinky and Willco prove their poor taste when it comes to Star Wars films, excellent.

I think we proved that you have shitty taste when it comes to films period!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #86 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:07:41 PM »

And the other two aren't? RotS > TPM > AotC, there's no question about it. I'd rather watch some souless space battles and Anakin getting ripped to shreds than a young Anakin building sandcastles and flying pods around for three hours.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #87 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:08:54 PM »

None of the prequels are great, but the Episode II and III are abominations - Episode I is just mediocre.

I'm glad you'd rather watch boring CG than an actual duel and a real movie (and the only movie with a decent soundtrack). Speaks volumes about your preferences! Seriously, though, you could come over and pay me to play Battlefront. You'll get the same amount of joy out of watching me do that as watching Episode III. Plus, Battlefront makes more sense!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #88 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:09:40 PM »

Says the guy who liked SoaP.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #89 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:11:02 PM »

You act like as if people hated it, Shake. There's a difference between nobody seeing it and people hating it. The overwhelming concensus from people who saw it was that it was a great deal of fun. And it was.

Again, speaks volumes about your tastes!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #90 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:15:17 PM »

Quote from: Willco on February 07, 2007, 03:11:02 PM

You act like as if people hated it, Shake. There's a difference between nobody seeing it and people hating it. The overwhelming concensus from people who saw it was that it was a great deal of fun. And it was.

Again, speaks volumes about your tastes!

Uh, there are plenty of people who hated it. Just because you and your friends are drawn to lame, one-note joke films doesn't mean everyone else is.

A simple search for mentions in the last few weeks brings up:

http://www.evilbore.com/forum/index.php?topic=4744.msg114678#msg114678

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #91 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:27:27 PM »

When did I say everyone liked it? Uh, how 'bout never. But the target demo, the one that created the self-annointed Internet phenomenon really enjoyed it. You can go to any big forum, from SA to GAF to where ever to see that. Don't get all defensive because you like videogame footage branded as Star Wars, whilst unable to enjoy a movie called Snakes on a Plane.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #92 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:30:27 PM »

When did I ever say I liked video game footage in leu of actual film content?

Exactly. Even so, a dog taking a shit replayed for three hours would have been more interesting than TPM.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #93 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:31:27 PM »

You obviously were entertained by Revenge of the Sith!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #94 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:32:34 PM »

I was more (the key word) entertained by RotS than TPM: The Great Pod Race.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #95 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:36:29 PM »

Jedi on a Plane would have been awesomer!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #96 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:37:11 PM »

Quote from: Tauntaun on February 07, 2007, 03:36:29 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

Jedi on a Plane would have been awesomer!

Tauntaun · « **Reply #97 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:38:28 PM »

Here's lookin at you Shake.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #98 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:39:44 PM »

Solo · « **Reply #99 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:42:21 PM »

Quote from: The Dark Shake on February 07, 2007, 12:15:02 PM

I know. The dude also hates Fight Club and thinks Godfather is "meh".

There is no helping those that don't love The Godfather. But, to be fair, Fight Club is a fucking pretentious turd of a movie. Se7en r.ocks my shit, but Fight Club is an embarassing tribute to the mentality of young adult males circa 1999.

Also, though I already handed out numbers, I will do it with >'s.

ESB>ANH>a kick to the balls>ROTJ>root canal>TPM>castration>ROTC>AOTC

Solo · « **Reply #100 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:43:45 PM »

del, motherfuckers!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #101 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:44:35 PM »

WTF does "sucks my shit" mean? o_O

If you mean to say Se7en is bad, then you have failed me for eternity.

Solo · « **Reply #102 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:45:25 PM »

When I type "r.ocks" (- the period), "sucks" comes up. WTF?

And no, as stated, I love Se7en. Fight Club is tripe though. It belongs in a boat with Donnie Darko sailing to the "WTF Is This Shit" island.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #103 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:46:03 PM »

Solo sucks.

^ Dude, wtf? I typed r.o.c.k.s. too

Solo · « **Reply #104 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:47:21 PM »

I tried it twice and "sucks" came up both times. Gay.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #105 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:48:05 PM »

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/snakes_on_a_plane/

The movie was well received for what it was. It's by no means on the level of say Epic Movie

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #106 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:50:06 PM »

Let me put this in perspective. The movie was called Snakes on a Plane. It delivered its promise of snakes on said plane.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith did not deliver Star Wars, nor avenge the Sith (how could it - why were they revegenful of?). It just sucked.

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #107 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:51:09 PM »

I still have no clue why the prequals got so many good reviews.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #108 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:51:21 PM »

So now a film like Brazil has to deliver only "Brasil" for it to be good?

Step your game up, Willco. This is a pathetic excuse.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #109 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:54:24 PM »

Quote from: Willco on February 07, 2007, 03:50:06 PM

Let me put this in perspective. The movie was called Snakes on a Plane. It delivered its promise of snakes on said plane.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith did not deliver Star Wars, nor avenge the Sith (how could it - why were they revegenful of?). It just sucked.

I can't argue with that

I've always been of the opinion that if I want to watch a smart, intelligent action/adventure movie that's perfectly written/acted I'd watch Spartacus. But if I want an awesome, fun...somewhat "cheesy" action/adventure movie that brings me back to my childhood while still impressing me, I'll watch Star Wars

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #110 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:54:54 PM »

Quote from: The Dark Shake on February 07, 2007, 03:51:21 PM

So now a film like Brazil has to deliver only "Brasil" for it to be good?

Step your game up, Willco. This is a pathetic excuse.

I think his argument was that anyone expecting quality cinema for snakes on a plane was distinguished mentally-challenged. Most of us were expecting the prequals to be good since it took 20 years to make them. Instead we got fed horseshit.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #111 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:55:58 PM »

The OT doesn't even give me that nostalgic feel these days, what with all the "upgrading" Lucas has done. Now it just feels like a slightly better acted, more light-hearted version of the prequel films. $:-\$

I, and many others, were expecting SoaP to be stupid fun. All I got was the stupid, and none of the fun.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #112 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:59:07 PM »

Snake, per usual, missed the boat. Flame is right for the most part.

Snakes on a Plane was a movie about snakes on a fucking plane. It wasn't high art. It said, "Hey, we're a movie about snakes on a plane with Samuel L. Jackson." There was no false advertising. You were not going to get Citizen Kane with serpents. If you walked in there and walked out disappointed, you probably shouldn't have bought a ticket in the first place.

I don't get how you expected stupid fun and just got stupid. What, did you expect to have some kind of Quentin Tarantino-like dialogue about snakes on a plane? It was snakes! On a plane!

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #113 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:00:51 PM »

How do any of you fegs enjoy movis? Jesus christ just sit back and enjoy the blinking lights when it comes to the OT.

You guys overthink everything.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #114 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:01:18 PM »

Why do you keep thinking I expected this to be good? You would have to be blind to think that this film could be anything but terrible. Me? I expected something of "so bad its good" quality, like the horror films of old. What did I get? Keenan Thompson playing a PSP and shitty "I'll always be there for you" dialogue. Weak.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #115 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:03:08 PM »

I never said you expected it to be good. But I don't know how you could walk into a movie called Snakes on a Plane and then walk out disappointed.

IT'S SNAKES. ON A PLANE.

That's like walking into a movie called BACKDRAFT and come out complaining that it had too many fire sequences in it.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #116 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:04:02 PM »

Snakes on a Plane was pretty godawful.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #117 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:05:26 PM »

Once again, since when does the title of a film have to indicate "THIS IS ALL THE FILM IS ABOUT, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING BETTER"? That's just a crappy excuse to defend your poor taste.

Yes, there were snakes on planes. That can't hold a movie for 90 minutes, though, and it did not.

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #118 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:06:25 PM »

Quote from: The Dark Shake on February 07, 2007, 04:05:26 PM

Once again, since when does the title of a film have to indicate "THIS IS ALL THE FILM IS ABOUT, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING BETTER"? That's just a crappy excuse to defend your poor taste.

Yes, there were snakes on planes. That can't hold a movie for 90 minutes, though, and it did not.

Hes not talking about the FUCKING TITLE. He is talking about expectations (of which the title is PART of). Where you expecting SoAP to be oscar worthy?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #119 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:06:36 PM »

It has nothing to do with the title, it was the film!

That's like watching BOA vs PYTHON and going, "OH MY GOD, THIS IS A MOVIE ABOUT TWO SNAKES FIGHTING!"

Why would you pay money to see Snakes on a Plane if you thought snakes on a plane couldn't hold a movie for 90 minutes?

Answer: YOU'RE distinguished mentally-challenged

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Author Topic: Final Indiana Jones Release Date: May 22, 2008 (Read 8351 times)