I'd be unimaginably awful. First orders of business:
1) round up everyone with evangelical religious tendencies and toss them into a scorpion pit
2) nuke texas (after relocating mupepe and himuro) and arizona
3) nuke nintendo
4) put a hold on all bank accounts and make everyone into industrial slaves save my friends, who i'd elevate to aristocrat status
5) require that every sunday be spent defecating on a stack of religious texts and ayn rand novels
6) put a pluto on everything i don't like, with each violation incurring a punishment of brutal sodomy with a wii-mote
7) bring back: firefly, oz, black books, and black adder

make "being diablos" a crime against the state, punishable by, well, i can't think of anything worse than being diablos and death would be a mercy, so, uh, punishable by nothing
9) make purchasing WINDOWS VISTA mandatory
10) have lots of sex sluts and do drugs every day while broadcasting my exploits to the starving and overworked masses
that's a good start
i'd also let demi and nick frost live together