Evilbore porn store stories

[Himu]

From the thread about disfigured soldiers getting more pussy than half of gaf:

Himuro, I consider you and 'pepe as honorary Washingtonians.

That's a lot better than Oregon, right? I visited Portland once and just went walking around outside my hotel, and some Mexican guy started to grope me and persisted that I share a preview room at a porn store with him. Quite frankly, it freaked me out and I've been scared of going to the north west ever since.

I visited Portland once and just went walking around outside my hotel, and some Mexican guy started to grope me and persisted that I share a preview room at a porn store with him.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha 

So did you do it?  That's the sort of awesome, godless thing that happens in the NW.

So did you do it?

The true answer is not for your innocent little ears.

And I bullshit you not. That actually fucking happened in Portland.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I did nothing to him and went back to my hotel

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All sorts of interesting things happen in those porn preview places. None more than the F Street across from the Miramar Marine Station in San Diego. All these lonely young men, hanging out in the hallways...

Yeah I didn't even know you could share a preview room booth. That freaked me out a bit..

Yeah I didn't even know you could share a preview room booth. That freaked me out a bit..

Come to Seattle, Himmy.  Share a preview booth with me.

I peed in a preview room once.

Yeah I didn't even know you could share a preview room booth. That freaked me out a bit..

You're actually not supposed to, and some city ordinance passed a couple of years ago that made most of these places take the fucking DOORS off the booths so that you can't uh, have any privacy.

But not at the one across from Miramar! Don't Ask, Don't Tell indeed!

Share yours.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Dude, what.

[Mupepe]

I peed in a preview room once.

Hahaha

It was the day before I moved from Houston to New Mexico.

[Himu]

It deserves it's own thread.

[Himu]

I peed in a preview room once.

Hahaha

It was the day before I moved from Houston to New Mexico.

Why'd you do it? Just had a hankerin' for pissing on people's semen left overs?

[CajoleJuice]

I don't have any. 

[Himu]

One time it was late late at night at the school, and I was on my way home. I had to piss BAD so I just pissed on the parking lot. No one saw.

[Saint Cornelius]

All I can say is thank god for the internet.

I did have a couple of, uh, interesting times at the places that have the windows with the girls behind them... thank you Lilli Xene 

[Mupepe]

I peed in a preview room once.

Hahaha

It was the day before I moved from Houston to New Mexico.

Why'd you do it?

I was really drunk and Natalie, Justin, Jason and I went there for shits and giggles.  I had to take a piss but I couldn't find a bathroom so I went to a preview room and took a piss.  When I came out, the door directly across from the preview room was a restroom.  

[Himu]

All I can say is thank god for the internet.

I did have a couple of, uh, interesting times at the places that have the windows with the girls behind them... thank you Lilli Xene 

Girls went in to these preview rooms too? Never seen a girl at a porn shop ever. For some reason i've noticed the people in charge of porn stores are always azn.

[Himu]

I peed in a preview room once.

Hahaha

It was the day before I moved from Houston to New Mexico.

Why'd you do it?

I was really drunk and Natalie, Justin, Jason and I went there for shits and giggles.  I had to take a piss but I couldn't find a bathroom so I went to a preview room and took a piss.  When I came out, the door directly across from the preview room was a restroom.   

 

[Himu]

Portland had about 1 billion strip clubs and shit, I swear. They would have in house strip clubs where you go up these people's apartment complex where they live, and they'd strip for you for 10 bucks. If you paid them 50 you could get a bj.

[FlameOfCallandor]

FYI; Porn is free on the internet.

[Himu]

I bet you haven't even been to a strip club FoC. "Why go to a club when I can beat off on my keyboard? hur hur hur!"

[FlameOfCallandor]

I bet you haven't even been to a strip club FoC. "Why go to a club when I can beat off on my keyboard? hur hur hur!"

I have never been to a strip club, and I never will. I have a little dignity and self respect.

[Himu]

Huh?

[T234]

I bet you haven't even been to a strip club FoC. "Why go to a club when I can beat off on my keyboard? hur hur hur!"

I have never been to a strip club, and I never will. I have a little dignity and self respect.

[Mupepe]

I bet you haven't even been to a strip club FoC. "Why go to a club when I can beat off on my keyboard? hur hur hur!"

I have never been to a strip club, and I never will. I have a little dignity and self respect.

Nothing says dignity like watching cheeseburger porn hunched in a chair in your sweat covered jammies chafing your bishop.

[Himu]

Well, at least the girl can't see him, right? That makes it a lot more dignified and chivalrous.

[FlameOfCallandor]

It's no secret that i'm a noob when it comes to woman and I'm a virgin. I figure the only thing keeping me from becoming a creepy dude is that I'm not gonna pay for trivial shit like a lap dance or a peep show of some tits.

If it was free i might do it, but im not gonna sink low enough to spend money on it.

[Himu]

It's for shits and giggles, duder. Like, maybe once a year thing.

[Mupepe]

It's no secret that i'm a noob when it comes to woman and I'm a virgin. I figure the only thing keeping me from becoming a creepy dude is that I'm not gonna pay for trivial shit like a lap dance or a peep show of some tits.

For 20 bucks, you can touch some titties in a private lap dance.  It's fun to go to a strip club with some friends and get drunk.

[FlameOfCallandor]

It's for shits and giggles, duder. Like, maybe once a year thing.

If I spent money on something superficial like that i would feel even more like a loser and that's pretty hard to do.

[Himu]

Huh.

[T234]

It's for shits and giggles, duder. Like, maybe once a year thing.

If I spent money on something superficial like that i would feel even more like a loser and that's pretty hard to do.

[Himu]

Enough with the coffee, T234!

[FlameOfCallandor]

Let's just say it's not really my thing. I would look dumb doing it and I would feel dumb afterwords.

[Saint Cornelius]

Girls went in to these preview rooms too? Never seen a girl at a porn shop ever. For some reason i've noticed the people in charge of porn stores are always azn.

Oh god no, but that would be interesting to see some disheveled broad timidly walk out of one of those rooms, vibrator still buzzing in her purse

No I'm talking about the kind of place where you put your money in, and there's a real woman on the other side of the glass, willing to do stuff to herself while you talk to her on the phone. Bring handy wipes because all sorts of germs are on those mouthpieces!

Oh and I hate strip clubs.

[Mupepe]

Let's just say it's not really my thing. I would look dumb doing it and I would feel dumb afterwords.

That's how I feel jerking off.  I always feel stupid afterwards    ...like someone is watching me  

[Himu]

You know what the worst job ever would be? A spunk cleaner at a porn shop. He has to mop up other guys semen in the preview rooms.

[T234]

Enough with the coffee, T234!

I DON'T DRINK COFFEE, I SNORT ORANGE TIC-TACS

[Saint Cornelius]

You know what the worst job ever would be? A spunk cleaner at a porn shop. He has to mop up other guys semen in the preview rooms.

You've seen Clerks, right? The jizzmopper is a very noble profession!

[Himu]

Enough with the coffee, T234!

I DON'T DRINK COFFEE, I SNORT ORANGE TIC-TACS

That is undeniably sexy.

[Himu]

You've seen Clerks, right? The jizzmopper is a very noble profession!

That's what they want you to believe!

[T234]

Enough with the coffee, T234!

I DON'T DRINK COFFEE, I SNORT ORANGE TIC-TACS

That is undeniably sexy.

[Himu]

The orange tic tacs are the best.

[T234]

truth.

You know the bags of six (I think 8 nowadays, but I'm not sure) containers of them?

I used to eat four bags a day for lunch for a month and a half.

I still twitch.

[Mr. Gundam]

One night while my wife and I were at Castle Superstore picking out our very first porn DVD, we saw this couple checking out the anal beads and other butt toys. The guy was very eager and ready to have at his lady's booty any second, whereas she was really freaked out about letting him violate her rear end. One of the clerks at the store mentioned that they had desensitizing gels... the guys eyes got huge and yelled out loudly "YEAH! LET'S GET SOME OF THAT!".... the girlfriend was even more mortified. Everyone in this fairly large store was staring at them after that comment.

That's all I've got. Our monthly visits to Toys in Babeland are pretty domestic and boring, unless you want to hear about us picking out a butt plug, erotica collections, or random DVDs from the UK.

[Phoenix Dark]

Can you get private sessions with dancers at strip clubs? I've always wanted to ask one if they'd have sex with me for money.

Seems safer than getting a prostitute. Hell there's a strip place like 10-15 minutes away from my house. Campus life FTW

[Mupepe]

Can you get private sessions with dancers at strip clubs? I've always wanted to ask one if they'd have sex with me for money.

Seems safer than getting a prostitute. Hell there's a strip place like 10-15 minutes away from my house. Campus life FTW

Yes.  They'll take you to the VIP room and give you private lap dances.  Usually 20 dollars a dance.  And the majority of the time, they'll ask "do you want more?" and that's just code for "Want to fuck me?  300 bucks, queer."

[Phoenix Dark]

Can you get private sessions with dancers at strip clubs? I've always wanted to ask one if they'd have sex with me for money.

Seems safer than getting a prostitute. Hell there's a strip place like 10-15 minutes away from my house. Campus life FTW

Yes.  They'll take you to the VIP room and give you private lap dances.  Usually 20 dollars a dance.  And the majority of the time, they'll ask "do you want more?" and that's just code for "Want to fuck me?  300 bucks, queer."

$300 WTF?

What about a blowjob for $100?

[Mr. Gundam]

Oooh! We visited some REALLY MESSED UP sex shops in Kabukicho, Tokyo (the area that Yakuza supposedly takes place in)... I'll try and remember what we saw in there.

[Mupepe]

Can you get private sessions with dancers at strip clubs? I've always wanted to ask one if they'd have sex with me for money.

Seems safer than getting a prostitute. Hell there's a strip place like 10-15 minutes away from my house. Campus life FTW

Yes.  They'll take you to the VIP room and give you private lap dances.  Usually 20 dollars a dance.  And the majority of the time, they'll ask "do you want more?" and that's just code for "Want to fuck me?  300 bucks, queer."

$300 WTF?

What about a blowjob for $100?

Yeah, usually about $300.

I'm sure they'd do something for $100. 

distant: you better remember!

[Beezy]

Oooh! We visited some REALLY MESSED UP sex shops in Kabukicho, Tokyo (the area that Yakuza supposedly takes place in)... I'll try and remember what we saw in there.

*patiently awaits bukkake story*

[Phoenix Dark]

Can you get private sessions with dancers at strip clubs? I've always wanted to ask one if they'd have sex with me for money.

Seems safer than getting a prostitute. Hell there's a strip place like 10-15 minutes away from my house. Campus life FTW

Yes.  They'll take you to the VIP room and give you private lap dances.  Usually 20 dollars a dance.  And the majority of the time, they'll ask "do you want more?" and that's just code for "Want to fuck me?  300 bucks, queer."

$300 WTF?

What about a blowjob for $100?

Yeah, usually about $300.

I'm sure they'd do something for $100. 

distant: you better remember!

Perhaps I need to go. I mean, a handjob at least. I would pay $100 for that, although I'd prefer a blowjob even if she doesn't swallow

[Mupepe]

Do it, PD.  Most hookers look disgusting anyways.  At least you'll get a gorgeous stripper.

[Phoenix Dark]

Ypsi's Deja Vu:
http://www.dejavu.com/club.asp?c=8216

$175 for 30min in the VIP? Damn after I pay that I wouldn't have enough money for something extra.

Ok, question: is it normal to get a hard on while getting a lapdance, and how do dancer's react to it? I know it's probably common cause there's no way my dick wouldn't be as hard as a glacier

[Mupepe]

I'd be scared if I didn't get a raging hard on during a lapdance.  It's very normal and they're very used to it.  If you're in the VIP room, she'll be grinding on your dick anyways.  You'll most likely get to touch some ass and titties too   (unless you get stuck with a shitty prude or you're absolutely disgusting.)

[Phoenix Dark]

I'd be scared if I didn't get a raging hard on during a lapdance.  It's very normal and they're very used to it.  If you're in the VIP room, she'll be grinding on your dick anyways.  You'll most likely get to touch some ass and titties too   (unless you get stuck with a shitty prude or you're absolutely disgusting.)

That sounds awesome. I'll make sure to get a haircut before going and smell good. Touching boobs? OMG please be true.

Have you ever gotten asked if you wanted "something more"?

[Mupepe]

I'd be scared if I didn't get a raging hard on during a lapdance.  It's very normal and they're very used to it.  If you're in the VIP room, she'll be grinding on your dick anyways.  You'll most likely get to touch some ass and titties too   (unless you get stuck with a shitty prude or you're absolutely disgusting.)

That sounds awesome. I'll make sure to get a haircut before going and smell good. Touching boobs? OMG please be true.

Have you ever gotten asked if you wanted "something more"?

I think every guy that doesn't look like the hunchback from notre dame gets asked 

[Shuri]

this thread is hilarious 

Random story, one of my uncle once went to a strip club and got a special deal, he ended up in a hotel room with *4* strippers, it ended up costing him like 3000$ for the night 

[Mupepe]

this thread is hilarious 

Random story, one of my uncle once went to a strip club and got a special deal, he ended up in a hotel room with *4* strippers, it ended up costing him like 3000$ for the night 

Poor guy should have pulled out and been like "Wait?  This costs money!  Sorry, girls.  I'm broke!"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then he would have gotten his ass kicked by 10 huge guys

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