Fuck YOU FedEx and your bullshit 2-Day shipping that RUINED Valentine's Day

[The Fake Shemp]

My Valentine's Day gift was sent 2-Day and left on the 12th, but apparently due to some unforseen weather and FedEx bullshittery, was delayed mid-country.

The mind boggle is that it was STILL delivered to the Oakland distribution center at 9:30 AM, which is plently of time to get CrystalGemini by the end of the day (she lives within driving distance!).  WHAT BULLSHIT.

THANKS FOR RUINING VALENTINE'S DAY

[Mupepe]

Awwww

Let's get drunk and hang out.  We can both be miserable.

[The Fake Shemp]

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[Bacon]

You weren't getting physical with your GF before, and you still aren't now. How much worse is it REALLY?

[Mupepe]

Well shit, I'm sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry.  You know, I offer to comfort you and it makes you cry instead?  WTF?  Fuck that shit then.  Be by yourself.

[CajoleJuice]

Crystal is gonna read my poem and then you're toast, Willco!

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Mupepe]

Alright, as your General, I advise you to get a really fast car with no top and quit your blubbering.

[The Fake Shemp]

I have failed on the most important of relationship days.  This is a first.  I'm a failure.  I'm going to go sit by myself and drink Crystal Light and spew hatred at FedExc Customer Care.

[Ecrofirt]

Willco, if it makes you feel any better the same fucking thing happened with me. 2 day shipping on the 12th, and it arrived in the distribution center in Pittston today (10 minutes from my house). The fuckers didn't deliver it because of the snow.

Good thing I couldn't see Nikki tonight anyway because of the satan poop falling from the sky.

[Mupepe]

Willco, if it makes you feel any better the same fucking thing happened with me. 2 day shipping on the 12th, and it arrived in the distribution center in Pittston today (10 minutes from my house). The fuckers didn't deliver it because of the snow.

Good thing I couldn't see Nikki tonight anyway because of the satan poop falling from the sky.

That's weird.  Nikki and I are baking cookies tonight.

[Ecrofirt]

Willco, if it makes you feel any better the same fucking thing happened with me. 2 day shipping on the 12th, and it arrived in the distribution center in Pittston today (10 minutes from my house). The fuckers didn't deliver it because of the snow.

Good thing I couldn't see Nikki tonight anyway because of the satan poop falling from the sky.

That's weird.  Nikki and I are baking cookies tonight.

You too could be having sex in the next room, and I wouldn't have the energy to care. I'm sore everywhere. And I'm going back out to shovel again now.

On the bright side, my mom rox. She got me Predator, House of 1000 Corpses, and 28 Days Later for Valentine's day. Thanks mom.

[Mupepe]

Damn, dude.  Your mom does rock.

[The Fake Shemp]

My mom abandoned me to go to dinner, and I sat alone drinking Diet Coke and eat Teriyaki Chicken burgers.

[Van Cruncheon]

my daughter squawked and threw a tantrum because i wouldn't let her take friggin' CRAYONS to bed, so here i am listening to her squeal with tot rage in her room

[The Fake Shemp]

You and your wife aren't having romantic, hot Valentine's sex?

[Mupepe]

Deacon: It was "me" time last night.
Doug: Oh man, that's great.
Deacon: Yeah, I get it every year on my birthday.
Doug: It's not only on birthday's right?
Deacon:  You'll find out.

[ToxicAdam]

You and your wife aren't having romantic, hot Valentine's sex?

Naive unmarried people...

[y2kev]

my daughter squawked and threw a tantrum because i wouldn't let her take friggin' CRAYONS to bed, so here i am listening to her squeal with tot rage in her room

[Saint Cornelius]

You weren't getting physical with your GF before, and you still aren't now. How much worse is it REALLY?

cigarillo

[Bacon]

You weren't getting physical with your GF before, and you still aren't now. How much worse is it REALLY?

cigarillo

still on my nutz?

[Mike Works]

I'm a failure.  I'm going to go sit by myself and drink Crystal Light

is that your nickname for her when she's just starting her period?

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[Homemade Milk]

owned

[The Fake Shemp]

I will beat you with a shoe, Eric!

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I guess no Valentine poonani for Willco. I mean, less than he already wasn't getting. We're talking negative makeouts, people.

[xnikki118x]

My brother and I shoveled my grandparents' sidewalk, shoveled my parents' sidewalk and driveway, and then played in the snow for like an hour. I'm 21 and he's 16. It was great fun.

I'm sorry FedEx ruined vday for you, Willco.

[drozmight]

Package intercepted.

[G The Resurrected]

buildabear fucked up big time. i ordered saturday and they ran out of the bear i had ordered i am beyond pissed they didnt even contact me. i had to call them up to find out. so vday was ruined not like i got anything. this whole fucking week is horrible. now i have to go out coughing up blood to go bitch at the local buildabear and then build a bear and ship it out. i just want to pass out cause the drugs i got so i can rest and get better. hopefully shell understand and appriciate it.

[Ecrofirt]

I have a feeling FedEx is going to fuck me again.

My shipping status still says

Feb 14, 2007      10:36 AM      At local FedEx facility      PITTSTON, PA

[GilloD]

You guys are fucking suckers.

I called up my girlfriend this week and said, "Baby. Flowers are crazy expensive this week, so let's just grow some in the Spring, okay?" and added, "And package shipping is going to be fucked, so let's just make V-Day like the 21st". And then she wrote an adorable song about me.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

(Image removed from quote.)

Package intercepted.