Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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i avoid pooping drunk
There is no "pooping while high" option, this poll is biased and I refuse to vote.
Pooping while drunk increases the chances of vomiting if it is a particularly grody wire. Puking and shitting at the same time is decidedly not awesome.
There you go Whiteacid
There's a new option, I smell poop, I demand a recount.