So, I called them Sunday, like I try and do every week. Y'know, because I'm a good grandson and whatnot. They asked about CrystalGemini, and I told them she began to celebrate Chinese New Year with her folks. That's when they said that their residential community also celebrate Chinese New Year at their clubhouse (it's mostly for old folks). The area has one Chinese couple, but they did not attend (and would most likely die if they did), so it was all white folks and one Japanese couple.
They were telling me how authentic it was. This, ladies and gentlemen, is their account of events:
- They first had a banquet of Chinese food, authentic by their standards, from won ton soup to beef and brocolli from some horribly named Chinese joint like Luk Kee Dragon.
- They had a boombox play Chinese music. Then (brace yourselves folks), Chinese people dressed as giant egg rolls came out and performed "authentic" Chinese dances.
- Then they had to write their New Year's wishes on origami things and pin them to the dancing Chinese people dressed as egg rolls.
- Then they went out for games and fesitivities, including one game where you tried to throw something at a target. If it hit, the person would be dunked in a giant tub of Sweet 'n Sour sauce.
- Then people in a dragon costume came out and they had to launch fireworks to appease the angry dragon so their wishes for the New Year would be answered.
I laughed at first, but was overall pretty appalled.
