Drinky Disproves Geocentrism, Creationism; Phoenix Dark Alterts Timecube

[Van Cruncheon]

one wonders why god created an arbitrary unit of time -- a yohm, as it were -- to measure his own work efficiency, and why he felt the need to share his wholly arbitrary work metric with the hebrew tribes at some unknown point. unless god has to punch a timecard for an ubergod, and needed the hebes to back him up in case the celestial auditors wondered about the extra half-yohm he clocked when he was at tgif?

"I MADE THE WORLD"

"oh wow, how long did it take YHVH"

"UH, ROUGHLY SEVEN REVOLUTIONS OF THIS WORLD AROUND THE SUN"

"what? you said everything revolves around the earth!"

"UH, ER, I MEANT SEVEN INDETERMINATE LENGTHS OF TIME WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT DIRECTLY CORRESPOND TO THE PRESENCE OF THE SUN IN THIS GEOGRAPHICAL REGION"

"ooookay, so if these lengths of time are indeterminate in size, why did you specifically assert seven of them"

"FUCK YOU LITTLE FRUITS, START PACKING ANIMALS 'CUZ IT'S FLOOD TIME"

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Flannel Boy]

 

Now I know why my boxers were wet this morning.

Drinky 

[The Fake Shemp]

Sorry, this was too awesome to get lost in that shithole of a thread, which now contains home schooled debate theatrics and numerous Star Wars prequel references.

The original post is still too awesome.

[Disposable White Guy]

one wonders why god created an arbitrary unit of time -- a yohm, as it were -- to measure his own work efficiency, and why he felt the need to share his wholly arbitrary work metric with the hebrew tribes at some unknown point. unless god has to punch a timecard for an ubergod, and needed the hebes to back him up in case the celestial auditors wondered about the extra half-yohm he clocked when he was at tgif?

"I MADE THE WORLD"

"oh wow, how long did it take YHVH"

"UH, ROUGHLY SEVEN REVOLUTIONS OF THIS WORLD AROUND THE SUN"

"what? you said everything revolves around the earth!"

"UH, ER, I MEANT SEVEN INDETERMINATE LENGTHS OF TIME WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT DIRECTLY CORRESPOND TO THE PRESENCE OF THE SUN IN THIS GEOGRAPHICAL REGION"

"ooookay, so if these lengths of time are indeterminate in size, why did you specifically assert seven of them"

"FUCK YOU LITTLE FRUITS, START PACKING ANIMALS 'CUZ IT'S FLOOD TIME"

 

[Disposable White Guy]

Hey...

KAY NM

[BlueTsunami]

[Flannel Boy]

Even if we pretend to be Young Earth Creationists and say the universe is really only 10 000 years old it would seem God has been pretty lazy of late. He works for one whole week and then goes on a 10 000-year vacation?

Well, that's not entirely fair, I mean he has created devastating floods and ordered the deaths of infants and such... so that's something. But in terms of positive creations, nothing! You'd think in all that time he could have created a cure cancer, ended world hunger, gotten rid of parasites, or created a college chick who would go out with me. He is both omnibenevolent and omnipotent, afterall.

[Cheebs]

don't creationists say 6,000 years old?

Where do dinosaurs fit into that mindset? I mean other than "lolz jesus rode dinosaurs"

[Flannel Boy]

don't creationists say 6,000 years old?

Where do dinosaurs fit into that mindset? I mean other than "lolz jesus rode dinosaurs"

Don't be silly, Jesus never rode a dino, they died off like ten years before he was born.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

can anyone find a high-quality version of that awesome "creationist" periodic table

[BlueTsunami]

Where do dinosaurs fit into that mindset? I mean other than "lolz jesus rode dinosaurs"

You either get one of two answers

1) People actually did walk with Dinosaurs. I remember watching that Christian channel on TV and they were trying to point to some little prehistoric plankton on the bottom of some dudes sandal back in the days of Jesus (as proof of humans walking with Dinosaurs)

The other being

2) Dinosaurs where put there by God to test our faith (lawl)

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Test your faith? lolz

[Loki]

"UH, ER, I MEANT SEVEN INDETERMINATE LENGTHS OF TIME WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT DIRECTLY CORRESPOND TO THE PRESENCE OF THE SUN IN THIS GEOGRAPHICAL REGION"

This part had me in stitches.

[warcock]

Hey look on the brightside, creationism to an extent seems more plausible then string theory so far.

[littlemathletics]

I had a housemate that studied palaeontology, and actually had a number of Creationists in his course.

I don't know why, and I don't know how.

[Oblivion]

Alterts. lol self ownage.