Author Topic: Is Superman Returns the worst superhero movie ever made? (Read 1603 times)

Van Cruncheon · « **on:** February 26, 2007, 03:57:04 PM »

What an awful, awful three hours. The whole movie was just one giant onscreen wank over the first Superman movie, which was utterly mediocre regardless. OH BOY KEVIN SPACEY LOOKS LIKE GENE HACKMAN. OH BOY BRANDON ROUTH LOOKS LIKE CHRIS REEVE. Did we need EMO SUPERMAN mumbling "Lois..." while he rifles through her panty drawer or watches her pee with his X-Ray vision? And what the fuck was Parker Posey's purpose in this movie -- did Lex Luthor have designs on the House of Yes? AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THE POMERANIAN CANNIBALISM SHIT?

Worst superhero movie ever. PD is a total taco. PLUTO BRYAN SINGER.

Solo · « **Reply #1 on:** February 26, 2007, 03:57:54 PM »

6.5/10. Too much hate.

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #2 on:** February 26, 2007, 03:58:34 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on February 26, 2007, 03:57:04 PM

AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THE POMERANIAN CANNIBALISM SHIT?

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #3 on:** February 26, 2007, 03:58:48 PM »

1/10. Too much nostalgia.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #4 on:** February 26, 2007, 03:58:59 PM »

The movie doesn't make much sense, doesn't stand on its own and really puts whatever poor soul inherits the franchise in a tight spot (Superboy!).

Superman was kind of a dick to just stand outside Lois' house like a creep, tearing up as his alien heart was broken, while people were getting shot and murdered in Metropolis. Way to prioritize, jackass.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #5 on:** February 26, 2007, 03:59:54 PM »

Quote from: Willco on February 26, 2007, 03:58:59 PM

The movie doesn't make much sense, doesn't stand on its own and really puts whatever poor soul inherits the franchise in a tight spot (Superboy!).

Superman was kind of a dick to just stand outside Lois' house like a creep, tearing up as his alien heart was broken, while people were getting shot and murdered in Metropolis. Way to prioritize, jackass.

First time Willco's been right in a looooooong time.

Cheebs · « **Reply #6 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:05:52 PM »

It is better than Superman 3, 4, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Hulk, Daredevil and some others I dont feel like thinking of so no. Not great but by no means the worst super hero flick

brawndolicious · « **Reply #7 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:06:24 PM »

Hope none of the people involved with this movie find work again.

Didn't it bomb?

Cheebs · « **Reply #8 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:06:59 PM »

Quote from: am nintenho on February 26, 2007, 04:06:24 PM

Hope none of the people involved with this movie find work again.

Didn't it bomb?

Made 200 mill in the states, WB greenlit the sequel by the same team. Out Summer 2009.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #9 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:08:22 PM »

Once again am nintenho has no idea what he's talking about.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #10 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:09:39 PM »

You mean Warner Bros.

There will be a sequel, hopefully one that gives Superman more dialogue than Jimmy Olsen. Maybe this one will be entitled, Superman Does Not Get His Ass Kicked By Kumar This Time.

Also, I'd like to see Lex Luthor hatch a scheme that did not involve earthquakes, real estate or kryptonite. "I know, I will create an uninhabitable world made of radiation! Everyone will want to live here!"

It'd be nice if his scheme could also be stopped by Superman and not say, the United States military. Luthor did nothing that couldn't have been stopped by nuclear weapons, a military platoon, fighter jets, etc.

Cheebs · « **Reply #11 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:11:11 PM »

Singer said the sequel wont focus on Lex even though he is in it though. He said it will deal with a alien who comes and its "Wrath of Khan"ish.

Apparently it WONT be Zod unless Jud Law plays him, thats a deal breaker for Singer.

Solo · « **Reply #12 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:13:37 PM »

Singer just wants Jude's cock

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #13 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:14:46 PM »

alright, Drinky dogpile time: I *kinda* liked the Hulk, godawful CGI playdoh aside. Nick Nolte chewing scenery was AWESOME! I also loved the wacky diffusion of the plot into cheesy videogame-quality metaphors -- you got your Final Fantasy 7 in my Hulk! Well, you got your Hulk in my FF7!

Also Jennifer Connelly

Cheebs · « **Reply #14 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:15:29 PM »

Connelly isn't in the sequel thats out next year. How bad is it going to suck?

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #15 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:15:58 PM »

Pretty bad!

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #16 on:** February 26, 2007, 04:21:33 PM »

Way too much time focusing on Supermans inner feme hero and not enough of him fucking shit up. Directors of movies based on Comic books seem to want to incorporate whatever fantasy they may have had as a child (as far as how the Superhero feels about certain scenarios waaaahhhh). When you've got only around 2 hours to work with, you can't focus on feeeelingssss as much.

Ichirou · « **Reply #17 on:** February 26, 2007, 05:58:06 PM »

Superman Returns was incredibly mediocre but not as bad as Darkman II: Return of Durant, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Daredevil, The Specials, Mystery Men, or Batman & Robin.

Best superhero movies of all time are Darkman and Unbreakable.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #18 on:** February 26, 2007, 05:59:06 PM »

Quote from: Cheebs on February 26, 2007, 04:06:59 PM

Made 200 mill in the states, WB greenlit the sequel by the same team. Out Summer 2009.

Fuck them.

Cheebs · « **Reply #19 on:** February 26, 2007, 05:59:55 PM »

Quote from: am nintenho on February 26, 2007, 05:59:06 PM

Quote from: Cheebs on February 26, 2007, 04:06:59 PM
Made 200 mill in the states, WB greenlit the sequel by the same team. Out Summer 2009.
Fuck them.

2 more superman films for you

brawndolicious · « **Reply #20 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:02:19 PM »

Quote from: Cheebs on February 26, 2007, 05:59:55 PM

2 more superman films for you

I'm not watching them. It's like spiderman 1, so bad that I couldn't watch 2 or now 3.

I just don't care now.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #21 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:03:57 PM »

I heard in the next movie Supes is gonna be dealing with his mid Life crisis while battling Apocalypse. We'll have a Superboy cameo but hes going through his greasy face 14 year old "I read Nietsche" stage waaaahhh

... $:-\$

Ichirou · « **Reply #22 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:06:11 PM »

Apocalypse is a Marvel comics character. [/nerd]

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #23 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:08:29 PM »

bagofeyes · « **Reply #24 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:21:09 PM »

I fell asleep in the middle of this piece of shit

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #25 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:24:09 PM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on February 26, 2007, 06:03:57 PM

I heard in the next movie Supes is gonna be dealing with his mid Life crisis while battling Apocalypse. We'll have a Superboy cameo but hes going through his greasy face 14 year old "I read Nietsche" stage waaaahhh

... $:-\$

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #26 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:24:57 PM »

Ichirou · « **Reply #27 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:27:05 PM »

That's Darkseid, not Apocalypse. Darkseid lives on Apokolips, however! Perhaps that's where the mistake came about.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #28 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:29:44 PM »

Quote from: Ichirou on February 26, 2007, 06:27:05 PM

That's Darkseid, not Apocalypse. Darkseid lives on Apokolips, however! Perhaps that's where the mistake came about.

I've only watched he animated series as a kid but yeah thats probably where the mixup came about. It would be awesome if he was in the next movie though.

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #29 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:31:21 PM »

Quote from: Ichirou on February 26, 2007, 06:27:05 PM

That's Darkseid, not Apocalypse. Darkseid lives on Apokolips, however! Perhaps that's where the mistake came about.

Wow, really? Where can I learn more about this?

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #30 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:32:28 PM »

btw it's "darkSIDE" not "darkSEED" </fourthworld>

Ichirou · « **Reply #31 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:33:07 PM »

www.wikipedia.com, Disposable White Guy!

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #32 on:** February 26, 2007, 06:33:26 PM »

Hey, thanks!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #33 on:** February 26, 2007, 08:06:54 PM »

News:

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Superman Returns: Bryan Singer's masturbatory opus?

Author Topic: Is Superman Returns the worst superhero movie ever made? (Read 1603 times)