So, I recently moved from Brooklyn to Normal, IL to be with my girlfriend. She has a cozy little house she shares with 2 other people. One dude lives downstairs, his name is Matt. Matt's like...35 but he thinks he's 19 and he's great. He lets us borrow his car, he gets drunk with us, whatever.
The woman who lives upstairs leaves at like 6 AM and comes home at 10 PM. Her name is Troll Fuck. Here's the jam: Matt doesn't care that I'm not on the lease as long as I kick in a few extra bucks for utilities and pay my share of the rent. Troll Fuck, however, even though I've seen for like... 30 seconds in the last 10 days, saw my shoes or whatever and freaked out and now I have to take a 6 hour walk in case the landlord swings by.
I know: It's against the law and yadda yadda. I'm in the wrong, sure. But I bake extra cookies for Troll Fuck, I left her loaves of bread, I'm quiet when she comes home. And then she freaks out when she sees my shoes. I mean, just shut the fuck up. You're here like 10 hours a day and 8 of those you're asleep. You're absolutely a total grumpy asshole the rest of the time and I've seen you for all of 30 seconds.
Leave us in peace, Troll Fuck, leave us in peace.
