Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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I'd bet on me, because I'm inoffensive and no longer prone to E-Drama.
This is going to end up exactly like that movie.spoiler (click to show/hide)Bruce Willis kills everyone[close]