Author Topic: I hate money so much (Read 2649 times)

BlueTsunami · « **on:** March 21, 2007, 12:09:49 AM »

I don't know. I've been always feeling like this about money but seeing my Father, Mother and Sister work so hard just to pay rent and just have the crumbs left around to do actual fun stuff in their life makes me angry at a some low level. I'm very laid back about it (Money), I just want to make enough to live comfortably without worrying how each week will play out.

I dont' really touch into my personal life on message boards as much but I just need to vent this out since Its something I dont' want to talk about with people around me (as I don't know any of you personally). Its horrible seeing my father come back with blood shot eyes knowing hes so tired from working his ass off doing mechanic work thats based on a time system thats seems like it was made to retire mechanics at a young age (its really that bad). My Mothers job is cozy (receptionist) but shit, I want her to rest and be chill after raising me and my sister. My sister held 3 jobs at one point just do get the shit she wanted, she has two know because shes trying to pay off her car (shes the most ambitious sibling but she isn't in school, she does per diem Nurse work).

And I'm here trying to figure what I want to do with my life...sometimes I feel I've failed as a son it it makes me want to go and scream from the top of my lungs. The fact that I dont' know what to do with myself is like quicksand..and I seem to be more worried about what is going to happen with my parents when they get older (as far as money) UGH.

Man this shit blows. Thats life, I know but there has to be a way to make our way of life better. I need to do something NOW. Man.

I'm just blowing off steam but yeah, I want it to pass but it isn't. I need to take a serious look at what I'm doing with my life.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #1 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:22:52 AM »

Hug.

I've seen life fuck over my mom so much and I hate it. See didn't go to uni because she got an extreamly good job - enough to pay off a house by the time she was 20. Then the government sold the business and she was layed off. She works so damn hard for every thing and they always fuck her over. 3 times shes worked over 10 year jobs only to be layed of or terminated for reasons out of her control. The last job, she worked extream over time hours for about 3 months to put in a new system for the company, and once it was in, the company couldn't afford the new system and all the employees, so they layed off the top two payed people in the department, one of which just happened to be her.

Its horrible to because she is incredibly smart, she still holds records at her school and shes way smarter than my unlce (says my grandma), who went the uni route and because westren sales manager for IBM. Life has just fucked her over. shes 49 and just starting a new job, she gets fired right when she was thinking about retiring and now she has to start all over.

Worst thing is she still holds that do everything for the company idea, and I kind of hate her for it.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #2 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:24:20 AM »

I love money. I hate not having money.

You emos.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #3 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:29:40 AM »

Quote from: bagofeyes on March 21, 2007, 12:24:20 AM

I love money. I hate not having money.

You emos.

I guess its just the pursuit of it and how much it stains my loved ones that gets to me. I don't know...I'm probably coming off as incoherent

Quote from: Father_Mike on March 21, 2007, 12:22:52 AM

Hug.

I've seen life fuck over my mom so much and I hate it. See didn't go to uni because she got an extreamly good job - enough to pay off a house by the time she was 20. Then the government sold the business and she was layed off. She works so damn hard for every thing and they always fuck her over. 3 times shes worked over 10 year jobs only to be layed of or terminated for reasons out of her control. The last job, she worked extream over time hours for about 3 months to put in a new system for the company, and once it was in, the company couldn't afford the new system and all the employees, so they layed off the top two payed people in the department, one of which just happened to be her.

Its horrible to because she is incredibly smart, she still holds records at her school and shes way smarter than my unlce (says my grandma), who went the uni route and because westren sales manager for IBM. Life has just fucked her over. shes 49 and just starting a new job, she gets fired right when she was thinking about retiring and now she has to start all over.

Worst thing is she still holds that do everything for the company idea, and I kind of hate her for it.

Man *sigh* . This is why you need to do good with yourself in regards to School and get some good paying job. Same with me. Being the son(s) (in the families) its our job (as I view it). I have to focus (AND SO DO YOU

).

I feel a bit better now that I've got this shit off my chest.

Himu · « **Reply #4 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:34:12 AM »

I know what you mean Blue. I feel like a terrible son because I feel as if I am not doing my best. It hits me even harder because I'm black, and people died to get me into this position.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #5 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:34:30 AM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 21, 2007, 12:29:40 AM

I feel a bit better now that I've got this shit off my chest.

me too. funny what all little anonymous ranting will do, lol.

I know I just have to get past this next 3 months. I know I'll enjoy uni at least at first. I just really need a change.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #6 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:38:21 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on March 21, 2007, 12:34:12 AM

I know what you mean Blue. I feel like a terrible son because I feel as if I am not doing my best. It hits me even harder because I'm black, and people died to get me into this position.

I guess you have to use it as fuel. Find motivation where there is none (cause I lack motivation. I lacked it in High School and I lack it now). That fire that people have...its not there. I guess its not something that falls in ones lap though, need to work to find it.

Quote from: Father_Mike on March 21, 2007, 12:34:30 AM

Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 21, 2007, 12:29:40 AM

I feel a bit better now that I've got this shit off my chest.

me too. funny what all little anonymous ranting will do, lol.

I know I just have to get past this next 3 months. I know I'll enjoy uni at least at first. I just really need a change.

I would say (for you to consider). Finish High School and work from there. At least you'll have that under your belt and you'll be able to show the workworld that you had the dedication to finish HS.

I mean, if College isn't really for you then yeah don't do it but I guess its hard when your thinking about supporting family.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #7 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:42:03 AM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 21, 2007, 12:38:21 AM

I guess you have to use it as fuel. Find motivation where there is none (cause I lack motivation. I lacked it in High School and I lack it now). That fire that people have...its not there. I guess its not something that falls in ones lap though, need to work to find it.

See thats what I've lost the last two years. I mean I knew roughly what I wanted to do since grade 3, yet in the last two years its seamed so far away, and I kind of lost my dreams and in losing the dreams I lost the ambition. I really think something really badly changed in me when I was depressed.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #8 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:43:52 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on March 21, 2007, 12:34:12 AM

I know what you mean Blue. I feel like a terrible son because I feel as if I am not doing my best. It hits me even harder because I'm black, and people died to get me into this position.

I feel similar sometimes. I certainly haven't worked hard AT ALL these last two seasons. Hell, I'll be heading to bed at 1AM so I can get 5 hours of sleep, then wake up at 6am to cram for a test until 11am. Yeah I'm pretty awesome... $:-\$

Money's not much of a problem for me, although my parents are stressing about the house inspections. Basically the house on campus that I'm living in has failed inspections twice. The most recent was due to the windows, which don't open; it seems like they were painted shut from the outside. Now we need to have someone come over and open them, and that costs money. We can't get any renters in here until the house passes inspection. Which means that my parents are paying the bulk of the house's mortgage right now, instead of renters. Ugh

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #9 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:46:12 AM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on March 21, 2007, 12:42:03 AM

Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 21, 2007, 12:38:21 AM

I guess you have to use it as fuel. Find motivation where there is none (cause I lack motivation. I lacked it in High School and I lack it now). That fire that people have...its not there. I guess its not something that falls in ones lap though, need to work to find it.

See thats what I've lost the last two years. I mean I knew roughly what I wanted to do since grade 3, yet in the last two years its seamed so far away, and I kind of lost my dreams and in losing the dreams I lost the ambition. I really think something really badly changed in me when I was depressed.

The thing about Depression (at least, how I feel about it). Is that when it passes (or when one thinks it does), theres a possability that its still there eating away at your amibitions. You think your cool because your not lingering on the little things anymore. But hey! There it is, it rears its ugly head when it comes to certain judgments. It never really went away.

That or it scarred you emotionally. Either way, its a hump ones need to get over before they get the fire back (I would think_

Mupepe · « **Reply #10 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:47:36 AM »

I love money. Yup.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #11 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:51:01 AM »

O know iv'e come out emotional scared. I trust absolutely no one, other than my grandma. absolutely know one. and it kind of is linguring, I'm not depressed, but I'm no where near happy. I'm just linguing, which is whats making school so hard. But I don't know i fell like its more than that. I really feel like some chemical change has happened in me, lol, because I'm nothing like I was two years ago, hell I'm nothing like i was 6 months ago. I keep on changing and way to fast, and its scaring the shit out of me.

Himu · « **Reply #12 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:53:23 AM »

I haven't been really happy in a long time. The last time I remember being really really happy was when Mupepe came to say hi unexpected like a month ago. That really made me feel good.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #13 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:54:20 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on March 21, 2007, 12:53:23 AM

I haven't been really happy in a long time. The last time I remember being really really happy was when Mupepe came to say hi unexpected like a month ago. That really made me feel good.

awww.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:55:59 AM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on March 21, 2007, 12:54:20 AM

Quote from: Himuro on March 21, 2007, 12:53:23 AM
I haven't been really happy in a long time. The last time I remember being really really happy was when Mupepe came to say hi unexpected like a month ago. That really made me feel good.

awww.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #15 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:56:30 AM »

Have to beat it. I guess the best course of action is to zoom into something (think long and hard but not too long) and just do it. It could be that I'm personally going about things half heartedly, which leaves room for me to back out.

I guess the same could be applied to you in that, thinking about the long term and putting your head down and doing it would be the best route. I tend to be over analytical which is probably another layer to the emotional BS

And Mupepe is the Messenger of Love

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #16 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:56:39 AM »

I'm a wreck. I have fun hanging with my girl, but usually I feel...stressed. Almost for no reason. I sit up for hours at night thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. This is much of my fault since I've put myself in stressful situations this year. Being confused, insecure, and unexcited about the future certainly doesn't help.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #17 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:58:49 AM »

what the hell is wrong with all you guys

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #18 on:** March 21, 2007, 12:59:29 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 21, 2007, 12:56:39 AM

I'm a wreck. I have fun hanging with my girl, but usually I feel...stressed. Almost for no reason. I sit up for hours at night thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. This is much of my fault since I've put myself in stressful situations this year. Being confused, insecure, and unexcited about the future certainly doesn't help.

I was the same a couple of years ago. Letting that stuff weigh on your mind will do nothing for you. I've learned that its best to act on them and let the outcome come about than think about it and stall on decisions and regret them.

As far as the future, we a'll have that niche we should fit into. That something that we were meant for (I honestly believe). We just need to find it.

Quote from: bagofeyes on March 21, 2007, 12:58:49 AM

what the hell is wrong with all you guys

This is the "Let out all your issues" thread

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #19 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:01:30 AM »

"Mupepe is the Messenger of Love." he needs that as a tag or sig so much.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #20 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:03:18 AM »

It seems like school is the best option, and would save people a lot of drama. But still...if you don't know what you want to do, school won't make you feel better. It'll save stress by giving you a good future, but before you get there it's like uweorweowo;kdslksf

MemeMachine · « **Reply #21 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:03:27 AM »

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #22 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:04:00 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 21, 2007, 01:03:18 AM

It seems like school is the best option, and would save people a lot of drama. But still...if you don't know what you want to do, school won't make you feel better. It'll save stress by giving you a good future, but before you get there it's like uweorweowo;kdslksf

Thats a worry that I have. I don't want to commit to something financialy that I'll just drop. I'm seriously considering taking up Criminal Law though and doing Police work than beyond that...maybe take up a Detective Position or some echelon thats above a common cop.

Its the only thing that I think compels me in some way (Law, Justice and stuff like that). I don't have what it takes to become a Lawyer though (Malek woot)

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #23 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:04:17 AM »

Fuck, I'm going to bed

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #24 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:04:54 AM »

Quote from: MemeMachine on March 21, 2007, 01:03:27 AM

(Image removed from quote.)

Love and hugs and comfort.

xnikki118x · « **Reply #25 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:33:39 AM »

I feel the same way a lot of times. It pisses me off to have a friend whose family has digital cable or whatever, an HD-TV, high-speed internet, and tons of other things. They also don't work, they live off disability/social security or whatever government payments.

We don't have cable, I still use dialup, and none of our TV sets are newer than 8 years old or something. Pop gets social secutiry/disability but it's not enough so he still works. Gram works, too. It just makes me mad.

Vizzys · « **Reply #26 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:35:05 AM »

I have that guys book.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #27 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:35:13 AM »

don't you live with Ecro?

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #28 on:** March 21, 2007, 01:45:48 AM »

That guys book is a load of shit. And i hate fucking money it makes people into assholes and turns them into greedy bitches. Its good when you have it, it sucks when you dont. Especially when you need it. My mom's on diability/retirement and since she had a small settlement for not being payed disability for years she gets less than 500 bucks after they take out for insurance premium. 500 bucks is not enough to live when you've got to buy prescriptions that arent covered and all that shit.

Its just the way the world works. You see foreign countries taking the us dollar and even companies within the us taking our money and running to other countries (Halliburton, any outsourcing company) It sickens me and its all cause of money. God i wish i lived in europe or something.

xnikki118x · « **Reply #29 on:** March 21, 2007, 02:00:47 AM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on March 21, 2007, 01:35:13 AM

don't you live with Ecro?

He lives with his parents and I live with my grandparents.

We plan on moving in together when either I finish college or he finishes college. His school is fucked up so he'll be there longer than I will even though we started at the same time.

Only a year to go until I'm done!

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #30 on:** March 21, 2007, 02:07:08 AM »

Keep looking at that light at the end of the tunnel. You two will have a very happy life together for a long time I see. God i'm not gonna get out of college till i'm like 26 or something. Oh well its taken this long to get my life on track.

Candyflip · « **Reply #31 on:** March 21, 2007, 02:12:49 AM »

I know exactly what you mean. Just remember that it's your life, and don't feel any guilt because you don't necessarily agree with your family on how to live it.

Money does suck.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #32 on:** March 21, 2007, 02:20:09 AM »

Everyone send me money.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #33 on:** March 21, 2007, 02:21:41 AM »

Quote from: Willco on March 21, 2007, 02:20:09 AM

Everyone send me money.

You send me some of your tasty brew then we talk. Seriously man you should look into expanding your homebrew skills.

max_cool · « **Reply #34 on:** March 21, 2007, 03:31:57 AM »

I don't like money much either, but the last year and a half or so I haven't had to worry too much about it since I've gotten a shit-ton of student loans and grants in order to finish my undergrad, the only problem is that I now have a grand total of 20k in student loans to pay off and I won't be able to go to an in-state law school so that would mean at least an additional 75-100k of tuition money (hopefully not all loans) to pay off. This mean that I could end up with over 100k of debt before I ever really get on with my life. It's so damn depressing. I'm not even sure I want to go to law school anymore. Sure it's something I love, but we all must make sacrifices right? Maybe I'll go become and officer in the navy or some shit.

fuck

drozmight · « **Reply #35 on:** March 21, 2007, 06:25:03 AM »

Quote from: max_cool on March 21, 2007, 03:31:57 AM

I don't like money much either, but the last year and a half or so I haven't had to worry too much about it since I've gotten a shit-ton of student loans and grants in order to finish my undergrad, the only problem is that I now have a grand total of 20k in student loans to pay off and I won't be able to go to an in-state law school so that would mean at least an additional 75-100k of tuition money (hopefully not all loans) to pay off. This mean that I could end up with over 100k of debt before I ever really get on with my life. It's so damn depressing. I'm not even sure I want to go to law school anymore. Sure it's something I love, but we all must make sacrifices right? Maybe I'll go become and officer in the navy or some shit.

fuck

Just fuckin' go... and do really well and get a job that pays a shit ton of money so you get lots of pussy.

News:

Author Topic: I hate money so much (Read 2649 times)