HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY A SPIDER

[Human Snorenado]

THIS MOTHERFUCKING THING WAS ON MY CEILING, I'M LYING IN BED BROWSING INTERWEBZ AND JUST HAPPEN TO LOOK UP AS IT DECIDES TO JUMP DOWN ONTO MY BED

AHHH HOLY FUCK

I threw my laptop down to grab a shoe with which to smash the fucking thing, and IT JUMPED ONTO THE GODDAMN KEYBOARD LIKE SOME SORT OF INTELLIGENT, EVIL 8 LEGGED FUCKING THING

Shit's not right, that's all I'm trying to say.  I nudged it off my laptop with the shoe, back onto the bed where I ritualistically bludgeoned it to death with my size 11 New Balance cross trainer. 

Ok, we can all go back to our regularly scheduled business.  All except for me, who will never sleep again as I will live the rest of my life in constant fear of large spiders jumping onto my prone self from the ceiling.  HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[drozmight]

Only Beer Can Fix This

[G The Resurrected]

you sound like a girl, are you one?

[Candyflip]

I think I read a link to a science journal once that might have been on GAF which said that within the next few thousand years, spiders will grow in both size and intelligence. Fuck that shit. They're creepy enough being tiny.

[Human Snorenado]

Only Beer Can Fix This

Probably so, Phil Spector.  Probably so.

And G, if you don't leave me the fuck alone I swear to God I will do the forum a service and verbally bludgeon YOU to death, too.

[cloudwalking]

i like spiders.

[Human Snorenado]

i like spiders.

Honestly, I generally have nothing against them.  In fact, our building is kind of overrun with the little buggers.  But this fucker JUMPED OFF OF MY CEILING AT ME AND THEN PROCEEDED TO PERCH ON MY LAPTOP LIKE HE OWNED IT.  The penalty for that is DEATH BY SHOE, whether you're my cat or a spider.

[drozmight]

Only Beer Can Fix This

Probably so, Phil Spector.  Probably so.

You reminded me that I was going to change my icon.

[xnikki118x]

I'm not generally afraid of spiders, I'm actually the one who kills them when other people are afraid of them.

But if one jumped off my ceiling onto my keyboard? I'd be pretty freaked out about that!

[BlackMage]

I sent that spider as an assassin. Don't you ever talk shit about me again!!

[drozmight]

I sent that spider as an assassin. Don't you ever talk shit about me again!!

You should've sent a hoard of hungry king crabs to eat him alive.

[Ichirou]

I sent that spider as an assassin. Don't you ever talk shit about me again!!

You should've sent a hoard of hungry king crabs to eat him alive.

Are you saying BlackMage has crabs?

[Tauntaun]

you should've jizzed on it then burnt it alive, that's what I would've done.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Prost]

oh god just smash it, go read up on what the black widow and the brown recluse look like and only be afraid of those.

the only thing that can't hurt me that actually wigs me out just because of how fast/big they are.... yet they can fit through anything are those massive fuckin roaches.  god damn fuck those things man, fuck them,  plus i hate how if i smash them their guts go everywhere

it's the funniest shit sometimes in the middle of the night denise will JUMP out of the bed in a matter of like one tenth of a second and i wake up thinking someone's breaking into the house or something flipping out jumping up too, and then it's...  "there's a bug!!!!"

then i spend the next 3 minutes beating the blankets/straightening the sheets as she looks over everything quietly.  then she thinks i missed a spot and checks something JUST IN CASE, omg im just laughing imagining it... hahah

[mikesphat]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=brown+recluse&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2

[close]

just be glad it wasnt a real attack by one of those guys...

[Himu]

I fucking HATE spiders. I remember one time one decided to SLEEP near my bed. What the fuck, I slept on the COUCH that night.

[CoolGuyChris]

Thats awesome, the spider had something to say here on EB. I cant beleive you deprived it of its right top say something.... But hey I dont blame you, i would have smacked WILCO if he decided he wanted to sit on my keyboard..lool   

[Madrun Badrun]

I fucking HATE spiders. I remember one time one decided to SLEEP near my bed. What the fuck, I slept on the COUCH that night.

whats the spider and other crawly things like in texas?  I'm terrified of brown recluse spiders thanks to gaf. 

[Yeti]

Where there's one, there's usually hundreds. 

[Catz]

THIS MOTHERFUCKING THING WAS ON MY CEILING, I'M LYING IN BED BROWSING INTERWEBZ AND JUST HAPPEN TO LOOK UP AS IT DECIDES TO JUMP DOWN ONTO MY BED

AHHH HOLY FUCK

I threw my laptop down to grab a shoe with which to smash the fucking thing, and IT JUMPED ONTO THE GODDAMN KEYBOARD LIKE SOME SORT OF INTELLIGENT, EVIL 8 LEGGED FUCKING THING

Shit's not right, that's all I'm trying to say.  I nudged it off my laptop with the shoe, back onto the bed where I ritualistically bludgeoned it to death with my size 11 New Balance cross trainer. 

Ok, we can all go back to our regularly scheduled business.  All except for me, who will never sleep again as I will live the rest of my life in constant fear of large spiders jumping onto my prone self from the ceiling.  HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You squished it on your bed covers?  Spider guts, on your covers! Burn 'em.

I HATE BUGS.

[xnikki118x]

Spiders > cockroaches. At least you can step on a spider and not worry about carrying its eggs home on your shoes and having them breed in your house!