Author Topic: the official evilbore online d&d game (Read 1356 times)

Van Cruncheon · « **on:** March 31, 2007, 09:13:12 PM »

you stand outside the merry boar inn, restless and eager for adventure. the night is brisk and alive with travelers from around the continent.

nearby, two elven ladyboys in leather chaps coyly address you.

a large keg of elminster's finest magickal ale sits on the porch, untapped.

what do you do?

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #1 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:15:44 PM »

i shoot the hostage

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #2 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:17:15 PM »

[tvc15] drink till the ladyboys look like females? [/tvc15]

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #3 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:18:47 PM »

[rolls the dice]

you rolled a [15] against your +6 resistance to conventional morality, for a [9].
weak success. you then roll a [7], with a +1 dex bonus and a +3 modifier from your Desert Eagle of the Ancients, for an [11] on the attack.

patel the true neutral dwarven priest of helm shoots the first hostage in the arm, causing her to shriek in pain. the other hostages start to cry. in the distance, driz'zt do'urden and his shock underdark swat troops are heard ascending the stairs of the inn.

what do you do?

demi · « **Reply #4 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:19:14 PM »

i make a thread on GAF asking what i should have done

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #5 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:22:11 PM »

[rolls the dice]

you rolled a [19] on posting to gaf -- a critical success!

fady k, jinx, and anihawk all respond with snarky rejoinders. demi the chaotic good halfling thief feels smugly satisfied at the gross display of hapless internet inadequacy his gaf troll engendered.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #6 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:31:04 PM »

O, O, do me.

I drink then go on adventuring on my own because even the ladyboys don't want me.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #7 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:33:49 PM »

I wish to find true love in this world. What is my charisma?

demi · « **Reply #8 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:42:37 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on March 31, 2007, 09:22:11 PM

[rolls the dice]

you rolled a [19] on posting to gaf -- a critical success!

fady k, jinx, and anihawk all respond with snarky rejoinders. demi the chaotic good halfling thief feels smugly satisfied at the gross display of hapless internet inadequacy his gaf troll engendered.

Heroic Effort! +100 XP

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #9 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:44:26 PM »

[looks at character sheet]

Bz
Half-Orc Ranger
Chaotic Neutral
STR: 10
INT: 10
DEX: 10
WIS: 5
CON: 15
CHA: 4

good thing you didn't pick paladin

demi · « **Reply #10 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:47:00 PM »

i could see this idea lifting off, keep going dungeon master! i'm almost level 5!

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #11 on:** March 31, 2007, 09:54:31 PM »

I wish to continue my quest, I'm off to find the arrow of love. A large undead is in my way. What are my choices? What weapons do I have?

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #12 on:** March 31, 2007, 10:13:15 PM »

you roll the dice to usurp the dungeon master's duties.

you roll a [3] -- a critical miss!

the party points at bz and calls him a taco. roxy the goblin laughs too, and then she goes back to sucking bluetsunami the high elven warrior's massive manhood.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #13 on:** March 31, 2007, 10:26:10 PM »

I wish to play my Orc superpower "Hurl of deception" making my character travel forwards in time a day due to a drunken stooper. How much closer am I to my arrow? And can I defeat bluetsunami?

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #14 on:** March 31, 2007, 10:58:28 PM »

I use my Bracers of Blinding Strike to allow double attacks with my +4 Scimitar of Life Stealing.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #15 on:** March 31, 2007, 11:06:15 PM »

Ha, I nerded up the thread for reals.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #16 on:** April 01, 2007, 01:03:01 AM »

The drops in this game are bullshit and everyone is pking me .. I'm logging off.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #17 on:** April 01, 2007, 01:13:35 AM »

Quote from: ToxicAdam on April 01, 2007, 01:03:01 AM

The drops in this game are bullshit and everyone is pking me .. I'm logging off.

Can I have all your gear that isnt soulbound? Thanks

Yeti · « **Reply #18 on:** April 01, 2007, 02:51:02 AM »

I blow my nose with a +2 hanky.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #19 on:** April 01, 2007, 02:52:27 AM »

I have a + 4 erection.

Quote from: Yeti on April 01, 2007, 02:51:02 AM

I blow my nose with a +2 hanky.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #20 on:** April 01, 2007, 02:55:03 AM »

Bow down to my +9.39 drunkeness

bluemax · « **Reply #21 on:** April 01, 2007, 04:47:24 AM »

/shout LFG The Instance That Lasts Forever

Anyone?

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #22 on:** April 01, 2007, 04:49:49 AM »

Quote from: bluemax on April 01, 2007, 04:47:24 AM

/shout LFG The Instance That Lasts Forever

Anyone?

Fuck that, what about poo poo's? I dont have the resources of Eric Cartman ya know.

bluemax · « **Reply #23 on:** April 01, 2007, 04:56:39 AM »

But I have 5 quests that I need to complete in there. Dammit this always happens.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #24 on:** April 01, 2007, 05:09:11 AM »

I'll be there in 30 minutes. I gotta soulstone to my hometown then I gotta travel through the valleys of the rotten and then get my enchanted elite armor and then I'll take a gryph as close as I can. BTW can you get a PLD, BARD, WAR, ROGUE by the time I get there?

30 minutes later

"Oh i found a party that needed me, bye"

poor blue is still waiting around with no one to play with him

bluemax · « **Reply #25 on:** April 01, 2007, 05:15:50 AM »

Quote from: G on April 01, 2007, 05:09:11 AM

I'll be there in 30 minutes. I gotta soulstone to my hometown then I gotta travel through the valleys of the rotten and then get my enchanted elite armor and then I'll take a gryph as close as I can. BTW can you get a PLD, BARD, WAR, ROGUE by the time I get there?

30 minutes later

"Oh i found a party that needed me, bye"

poor blue is still waiting around with no one to play with him

This is a large part of the reason I quit WoW and FFXI. If I'm gonna play a game by myself all the time I sure as hell am not paying a monthly fee to do so.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #26 on:** April 01, 2007, 05:18:41 AM »

I think i was generous with the time I think. It takes like a hour to two to even get a party formed. And I agree, but just messing is fun.

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Author Topic: the official evilbore online d&d game (Read 1356 times)