i went to a bar and grill with my wife and parents this afternoon, and it was playing cmt the whole fucking time. i know asian people say all white people look the same, and they're right: i can't tell the difference between one tarbelly shitheel in a big hat and a wifebeater from another. or one teased-coif blonde in a sundress from another.
there seems to be two types of country songs:
a) mopey
b) dopey
mopey songs are always about when someone left them -- it's emo music minus the tortured lyrics but plus the contradiction of seeing a burly man sobbing in the rain. dopey songs are about life bein' a silly party and ain't pick-em-up tracks grand? why don't they sing songs about what they REALLY like, like "of all of my sisters i'm glad i married yoooo" or "a rope, a truck, and a darkie in town"? why don't they sing about alcoholism, racism, and incest? why is toby keith lying to me? at least a couple of 'em sing about moron-grade patriotism and/or christianity, which is at least honest if somewhat unsympathetic.
anyway, i hadn't heard any country since high school -- thank fuckin' gawd -- and i'd forgot how awful it was. i kept watching the tv, mesmerized, hopin' for that shania twain video where she's all tarted up with her bubs half-hangin' out but no luck. man, though, how do you tell toby keith or martina mcbride or brooks and dunn songs apart? i almost -- almost! -- wanted to hear nickelback just to break the monotony. ironically.
anyway, back to the sticks.
