fuck who could play me, the rest are pretty spot on.
Horatio Sanz? Dom Deluise? I've never seen a picture of you zeebz, damnit.
I don't think anyone here knows who I am or really cares, but... as I child, I was nearly a mirror image of Lukas Haas who plays Samuel in
Witness (1985).
Haas then:

Haas now:

Thankfully, I am sans the pube stache.